i am an attention whore~

i used to know this guy whos job was to tidy up prostitutes and administer drugs and otherwise get them ready for more customers . ....he was a ' whore attendant ' ....there was one of those colonial village type places where people costumed themselves as pilgrams and indians and reinacted the period ....every summer he worked there daytimes ......i guess he was a ' summer indian ' !!

 

hahahaha

 

ive become completely intolerant of any amount or type of alcoholic beverage ......i wish however that i had a dopetender who would role joints and set up shots of manteca or morphine ...

 

that would be sweet..hookah bars, but with marij

 

intolerant? u mean u flop like a fish. had a gf kill me that way. i had kicked fer 6 months or so. heroin was gettin in the way of my drinkin. for you booze gets in the way of dopin. i always do better on dope but im to hyper on dope.these new thorazine things give me hope tho. in boston jail i would cut my pill 4 ways n each guy would nod fer 2 or 3 days. needless to say i had mad commisary fer the 3 months i was there. also saw that **** that killed his wife n ran off to england.antipsychotics plus opiates boom! that n sum coke . n maybe sum thin smokey like hash. real hash is awsum.fuck weed i like hash. ok ill stop foaming.

 

alot of what you say i don't understand so don't feel the need to stop

 

i want bars what serve little sniffs or shots of pharmecutical dimorph or hydromorph or oxymorph .....and what sell packs of dankeretts

 

hahaha
that would be niice

 

sory if ive digressed from the origonal post , i want everybody to stop bugging me ....to stop comming over ...i live alone but get not enuff solitude . as well as not the kind of attention or interaction that i need . i guess theres attention and theres attention ....my dog ran off ....he loved me and followed me around , but still i wasnt a happy camper .....and all theese humans i know wont let me think fer buggin me . still its depressing and unsatisfying ......in short everything sucks for me and nothing people are doing at presant makes it better ....*quietly crys *

 

tell people to stop bugging you.. it's an easy enough thing to compensate, ock your doors
it's not such a bad thing man, it shows people care about you
oo0oOoooo mr.popular so hard to live a life where everyone wants a piece of you :tongue:
i understand it's hard to get the attention you want or need as opossed to the attention people want to give you...

 

yea its all wrapped up in getting by .....trying to live in a place that doesnt suit me ......and not enuff rescources ......i just need to move elsewhere and make lots of money....i think thats what im about to do ....all my peeps here are basicaly good eggs ......the situation and venue sucks is all .....and im used to being able to make things happen here im unable to realy make things better for myself or my friends n fam .

 

awww, sorry about all that.. i'm sure it'll get better though and you'll be able to move on
everything comes in time, just when it's right it'll happen
good luck with everything~

 

yea i gots half of a plan ' a ' ....n 3/4 of a plan ' b ' .....just need to overcome inertsia.....and just do it .........yep , much luck with your bartending n what !

 

thanks
if it makes ya feel better half n 3/4 of plans is alot better than most..i ain't got no plan i'm just doing whatever the hell i feel like and love to do

 

yea but plans get hung up cause theres just one lil piece missing or theres a contingency that becomes obstacular ......ive lost that joi de vivre that would allow me to just go with the flow like you are ....it would be more fun to do that . but if i could pull off one of my plans , i could create something that would be taking care of a bunch of folks long after im dead n gone .....i could set up something self sustaining and benevolent that would give the basic foundation for surviving n thriving for many souls even throughout the disasters of this collapsing civilizations noisy demise .....damm , i just want to be of some use in this life ....!

 

i heard ya. hey you got a passport? message me if bullshit . anyhoo shit changes. yer articulate n shit n ive sum idea of character if none.chasin yer own tale?me im the sulk type. i sulkl gety aggro make an ass. if youve had an effect. you might feel squeemish observin it or havin it dun at you.when sumone kisses yer ass you get angry?even a fella off his game. im always off. if i was on itd be in my own noodle. go prostitute yerself. i dont know you fer shit. stick yer dirty dick in sumone elses mouth.still not sure if its dts but computers r scary. there must be a reason there vivid eyed glassy jawed strangers.tryin to take yer shit.n now dont u feel stupid?i always do.

 

yea , life [or at least the capitalist death machiene ] seems to shit on people who dig whats goin on .......thanks fer re minding me shaggy , my passport is expired n i need to go fix this soon .im out of theese u knited states ....if none of my masterplans go through ill be leaving sooner ....but even if they do make something im out of here for good in 2 years max .....im gonna make a move within the states soon .....you should do the ocala rainbow ....seems to be gonna have a fucking insane scene ......i hope to go to it and the nationals in arkansas ...if i miss em itll be cause im getting somewhere on my money production ....as of now , im broke n got no reason to be where i am . ....you was in da beantown lockup ?....that musta sucked .

 

hey i live in the valley... but if a broad ever seriously talked like that round here.... (lyke OMG!!!! no way girlfriend)...theyd probably get cracked

 

I get really ticked if I've done something different and nobody notices. Makes me feel ignored, or that they aren't really paying much attention to me.

 

Heh, yeah, I'm not the most observant monkey in the world. Even when people tell me they're going for a haircut tomorrow and I see them the next day, I usually forget all about their hair.

People just kind of have to prod me along the way... "what do you think of my hair, no don't walk into traffic", etc.