I Am So Fucking Angry

Why on earth were you pepper sprayed lode?

I could never stab someone yikes...I mean I obviously can't imagine doing it now...I probably could if I was in dire need of recuing myself...

 

i have almost been stabbed before, it wasnt cool, i got outta the place i was at fast

 

First time I was drunk and explaining to my sister, self defense. I said you could fight through it. She pepper sprayed me, after I said it was okay.

She did it, and I caught her legs and took her down. Then I rolled over and coughed for a bit, washed out my eyes.

Second time was my training running through pepper spray and then fight to simulate fighting under distress. Not my damn idea.

That sucked a lot more because I didn't wash my face for a minute.

Pepper gas was in the army.

And I'm not recommending stabbing someone. Pepper spray is probably more then enough to defend yourself in most situations. But I would prefer both or if just the choice, certainly the knife.

Plus knifes are handy a lot of times.

 

Its funny being a girl. Whenever I am walking at night, or in the day (since I traverse through fields and trees to get to school and back) I always look behind me every so often.

 

I've had a knife drawn on me.

I also thought I was going to be shot by my father twice. Not paranoia.

I think I'm all to defensive honestly. I think most people in the world have bad intentions just because of some things that have happened. I need to get over it.

Most people are much

 

... nicer then I was raised to believe.

 

I love you lode. Ill take care of you and soften you.

 

Just make sure you take care of yourself, friend.

 

just gotta be careful i guess, it seems like nobody is 100% safe anymore, my neighbourhood use to be the place where you could be out and about at 2 in the morning and never have to look over your shoulder, thats not the case anymore, when my friends had knives pulled on them while they were trick or treating over 5 years ago a few houses down, now can never be too sure, lots of random ppl walkaround at all times of the day and night

 

I'm pretty huggable deep down.

Love you too, friend

 

cate
what the fuck happened

i work right next to cracktime at night, i've had my fair share of harassment too

 

wow, your own father, now thats scary, i have dealt with scary situations but if you cant even feel safe around your own family well then...

 

"nobody is ever safe anymore" due to us becoming adults, not due to the times....As children we were always (generally speaking) in the safe haven of our parents and our dream worlds. Its different a bit when you are older

 

smack that bitch DOWN cate. don't let anyone push you around. being petite and pretty shouldn't be a fucking constant hassle, but it is. i don't run anymore. mind you, i don't have to run quite as much as i used to. but still, you deserve respect.

 

The second time was last thanksgiving. I thought this because he told me I was a fucking dead man and went to where he keep guns.

The inciting incedent was an argument between my sister and I about chives.

Not to get off topic. I do have a few issues because of it though.

 

i was kinda the paranoid little kid even if i was with my parents and knowing i was going to be safe, i didnt feel safe, i had trouble trusting people for many years because of my early school experiences, including a teacher making fun of me for crying alot even though he watched me get teased and beat up all the time and didnt do anything about it, i was a quiet kid who wouldnt speak up and tell my parents what was going on, but thats all in the past, no use lingering in the days of the old when i dont like alot of the memories i have

 

She handled it. Very impressivley. She might as well have beat him up to boot.

 

ah, family life. rarely easy. and yet we mostly turn out just fine. isn't that funny?

 

i'd LOVE to hear the details, but i'm not pushy.

 

eric harrassment stuff. Its over now. I can breathe.