I broke through

I agree snocbor, the comedown can be the best part of a trip sometimes. For me, mostly because Im so thankful that whatever it was that just put a stranglehold on my life and mind allowed me to live. Nothing more euphoric than the bliss at finding yourself alive when you know, without a doubt, that just moments ago you were dead. That is why, to me, when you trip and dont experience death, it can still change your life, but when you trip and go to hell and back again, losing any sense of identity you thought you had, you see what is really important in life. It takes something that powerfully frightening and humbling to see how much of a pathetic joke our sense of identity really is.
And seized, it's natural to be apprehensive to try psychedelics, even if you know that the scary stories about going crazy are for the most part propaganda, there is still the stories of dying and watching your grip on reality spiral out into infinite seemingly nonsense. And this does happen, but what you have to remember (although when you hit the true peak of a psychedelic trip, most people cant even remember they took a drug, let alone remember that they exist lol) is that MOST of the time, although this is very testing on your inner strength and mental stability to remain calm, your body tends to seize up and stop moving as your mind begins unravelling higher truth. If you didnt take a large enough dose to experience this eternal state, truly a dimension imperceptible otherwise, the peak can be a tease but still make you feel like your going nuts, and since your not paralyzed from the trip you may get the urge to move around thinking it will make the effects stop, only to find that they keep getting worse. This is where people start doing bad things to themselves, because they believe it or not, have not going 'crazy' enough. People dont understand how fucking intense that pure state is during the peak, nor do they understand the meaning of the word fear. So, you take enough of a dose, in the right enviorment with a sober friend whom you trust will know how to calm you down should you give up on collective sense of grounding and start to bug out, and let the LSD take you where it will. If you fight it, you will experience horrible pain, much more painful than allowing it to move you. It is definitley not about having fun at all, and fear based on losing a sense of identity rather than fear of turning into a cup of orange juice is a good sign because it indicates the proper respect these drugs deserve and unfortunatley, dont have enough of.

 

Man I have to admit. Mr. Writer. You are the fucking king of thread writing. That had to be the best thread I have yet to read. You obviously have seen the truth. I understand what you mean about removing some but not all the filters. But to step outside the box which is actually deep within you. Tell us about your set and setting. Where you outside in a natural spot or downtown. did you have a type of undefiled or disturbed sanctuary where you were able to let go. what helped launch you into the clear light or nirvana?

 

I had one of these trips, can't really remember the first 24 - 48 hours but after that I experienced all the same things you described Writer. I don't know if I will ever do acid or any drugs again. Sometimes I fall back into some of these small r realities but then at the end of the week I have a dream or some experience which snaps me out of it. Sometimes I get depressed trying to live in a world full of selfish unseeing people so I weaken my self to the point where I no longer see the world for what it is, but I am really just pretending because I could never really forget the truth. I really think the negation of desire is the key to seeing the big picture. For the longest time I would fear the possibilities of what could really be going on like matrix realities.. anything that involves total control of my consciousness or life. I have to be fearless!! or I start getting selfish again... Anyone know what I am saying?

 

Yes I know what your saying. But what you are implying is a mentality that is easily influenced by external fiction, rather than having a basis in authentic experience. The obstacle we all must face is to learn how to decipher between nonsense and truth, eternity and loops, reality of one totality of existence and illusion of one control, and so on.
Being fearless comes with being open to anything, not by blocking it out. If you have discovered a path that you believe will lead to your liberation, the path of negating desire, which is a noble path, then no you probably should not touch drugs anymore. That is the only true difficulty we should embrace, to balance equilirium in all conditions. Once you find that, all drugs are just as empty as everything else in material nature.

 

you shouldn't get depressed for living in a world with selfish people, or weaken yourself for it. you should feel sympathy for them, and that they have not seen the light. rather than lower yourself, raise them.

when you said "i have to be fearless!" that reached right into my soul. i know exactly what you mean. just remember that love conquers fear. i don't really know how to describe it, but tool does a more than adequate job, as always:

I have come curiously close to the end, though
Beneath my self indulgent pitiful hole. Defeated I
Concede and move closer. I may find comfort here
I may find peace within the emptiness. How pitiful.

It's calling me
...

And in my darkest moment, fetal and weeping.
The moon tells me a secret. My confidant.
As full and bright as I am, this light is not my own
A million light reflections pass over me
It's source is bright and endless.
She resuscitates the hopeless
Without her we are lifeless satellites drifting.

And as I pull my head out
I am without one doubt
Don't want to be down here
Soothing my narcissism I
Must crucify the ego
Before it's far too late
I pray the light lifts me out

Before I pine away.
...

So crucify the ego
Before it's far too late
To leave behind this place so
Negative and blind and cynical

And we will come to find
That we are all one mind
Capable of all that's
Imagine the unconceivable

Just let the light touch you
And let the words spill through
Just let them pass right through,
Bringing out our hope and reason.

Before we pine away.
...

 

wow sounds like you had a great time. my last experience was pretty similar, and ever since i feel devoted to letting others see the light, making their days brighter with a simple smile, just things like that. i cant say ive broken through as much as you have, but i understand the things you are getting at and agree with you.

 

:cheers2:

I have to ask.

Was the matrix constructed out of triangles\hexagons

or squares?

 

Yes. I now understand what mystics mean by "God". It is me. It is you. It is an ant's fart. It is a galaxy.

I still reject the dualistic view of the world, that there is "me", and then there is "God", and "God" is a seperate being who experiences jealousy and anger and sadness and wants me to not eat shellfish or mix fabric types ;]. That is simply fairy tale to me, still.

However, whereas before I thought of the universe as machine-like (even a machine we cannot imagine, with quantum properties and whatnot), I now see it as more of an indescribable mystery, a mix of wordless poetry, a painting on all mediums with all wavelengths, and the most amazing gift of gifts. I now see the mystic side, and it's all around us, always, whether in a hindu temple in the pouring of milk onto a cow idol, or the Andromeda galaxy, or the stomach rumblings of an old man who ate spicy food.

It's always been there, I had just filtered it out

It's also changed my opinion on religions in general. While I still don't subscribe to any, I understand why others do. It is that drive to mentally crystalize this. An attempt to instantize the eternal infinity of Reality. I get it now I just disagree with the method, and that is far more trivial. It's helped me feel incredibly less alienated from the religious majority of humanity.

Definetely wait until you feel ready to lose everything you have for a few hours . I recommend doing it with the smartest, most open friend you have. The learning becomes a bouncing ball between both of you as you form words and speak on a level you never knew possible. It is also infinitely soothing to know someone else is there (nowhere) with you, and thus, all of humanity is, whether they know it or not .

Thank you kindly (and all of you for the great vibes, it has helped me very much now that I'm back in my human-suit and digesting things).

 

Mr Writer: This post has really resonated with me. I've been kicking something similar to this idea around in my head ever since my first trip back in July. I bore you all with the gory details of the trip - it was simply a very bad trip.

For the weeks afterwards I noticed a subtle change in my perception. I remember the first time it hit me and I think it's the best example. I was in a taxi traveling to the city for dancing purposes. Usually when in a taxi traveling to the city that's all I'm doing... but this time the taxi driver was operating a car which was pushing my body through the streets built atop of the face of the earth.

I noticed that many abstractions (analogue, I think, to the filters in the OP) that I'd taught myself for Thinking Purposes had become far less concrete. Hence eating, speaking, most things seemed to have a bit more depth. Not depth like there's some new meaning that had originally been hidden but depth that had I had learned at some time in my childhood and later discarded as unimportant detail. Thanks, acid =D

 

Man thats a beautifully written article. Perfect explanation.

My friend aka my acid guru, always tried explaning what you've written in this article.

Great job!

 

I completely agree. The comedown was probably more magical for me than the peak. Why? Well, the peak was nifty with visual distortion and body high and all that jazz, but during the comedown, as I crystalized back into This form, I could see as bright as day how I had changed. And that contrast, will forever stay with me. Acid is a big ON button. Press it

About fighting the experience, this is probably the single best advice to give. This also applies to shrooms, marijuana, and any psychoactive substance. On LSD, this is the difference between the best day of your life, and the worst day of your life (or suicide even). It is utterly foolish to fight anything you come across simply because anything you come across is from your own Mind. You cannot fight yourself, because if you lose, you lose, and if you win, well you just "beat yourself", so you lose. Do not fight it. Embrace the pain. Even love can be a harsh teacher, so do not be frightened or turn away when LSD hurts you to show you something. Just know that this will end in a few hours, and you can go back to your tv dinners and cosmo magazine.

Setting: Co-tripper's apartment. Indoors. Rainy, overcast day. Access to music, internet, video, pencil crayons + paper, and most importantly, a book on the art of Dali. Later in the evening walking the streets of Toronto (rich commercial area and beautiful university campus), and having amazing sushi and other asian seafood in a packed restaurant with truly splendid vibes.

Set: Thrilled to be taking LSD, thrilled to be in the company of my friend as he takes it for the first time, and thrilled to be able to enter the acid realm with an equal in every sense of the word. Open to anything. I was Tabula Rasa.

I just want to point out that when considering all factors, LSD, setting, company, Dali art, it is -extremely- difficult to rank them. Obviously simply being in an apartment with my friend looking at Dali art would probably not have been enough. So the LSD was in the spotlight. But everything else was equally important, and all congealed together to form a cosmic kick in my being that landed me back in my feet for the first time.

I haven't said this yet, because until now in the thread it was irrelevant, but I had already long ago achieved my present state. I lost it. How? Time, and lack of effort. Shadow and hints of Filters started creeping in, all around me, until before I knew it, I was back to square one with Too Many Mind. It can happen. I understand what you mean by being fearless, although I think that the jump from "this world is not what it seems" to "there are entities controlling my every thought" is simply an incorrect one. Imagine the Matrix, rather than being a constructed environment, as simply being a natural illusion that most (or maybe all) people fall into. It is simply the presence of certain mental Filters which distort and censor Reality.

It is constructed out of atoms and energy and your parents and your left foot and your first crush

Exactly! You put it perfectly. One leaves the trip with such a richer, an infinitely richer grasp of everything going on around one. By the way, this is also the essence of what is overwhelming about the peak of the trip. You are simply FLOODED with sheer, raw awareness of the impossible complexity of even the most simple actions. You are stunned by the fact that you can breathe. That you can eat. That you can look out your window. That people can drive cars and honk horns and fantasize about coworkers. It is utterly stupefying how anything gets done in this universe, and yet everything gets done, and that is the (this coming from a militant atheist) miraculous part.

Brilliantly put. I cannot express the joy I have that others understand exactly what I went through and went through it themselves. I was somewhat worried that my experience was utterly alien to any applicable social reality, but now I see that it is simply the Universal Human Reality.

Language definetely reveals it's weaknesses during an acid trip. Often me and my friend would look at each other at the same time, smile the same smile, and just nod - almost bow. It's wondrous.

I bow to you all for your kind words and open ways.

 

Did you know that you actually dont need LSD to experience all this. It can be acheived by 10 years minimum of meditation and spiritualism. I read an article once about these two professors from Harvard, who experimented with LSD for about 6 months and couldnt explain the effects.
They went to India to the holy city of Hrishikesh (same city where The Beatles stayed) and spoke to a sadhu (preacher). They told him about LSD. The sadhu asked them if they had some. They gave him a 30ml bottle filled with acid, and the sadhu gulped it down, and to his surprise he realized that you're only supposed to take 1/3rd of a drop. Even after him gulping down that 30ml, he was normal and unchanged in the 3 day examination by the professors, after he took the LSD.
Later, the sadhu explained that for a normal human to reach that level of psychedelica and enlightenement, they consume chemicals, but 25 years of meditation, and you spend you entire life enlightened.

 

yeh trippy story eh? i dunno what to believe about it. i never heard about monks that see fractals all day long and have their earth breath around them.

i would like to know how sadhu acted in a range of situations

maybe he had no personality

or something

 

that's amazing

 

I believe he is referring to Ram Dass giving Maharaji 900 micrograms of LSD, to which the guru had no noticeable reaction.
As for how he was in every situation reported about him, let's just say that he both had no personality as well as had an overwhelming personality all at the same time.
Extremley funny and open minded, entirely selfless, and literally living to spread love to anyone who would receive it. He lived as a more or less homeless person who would refuse almost everything offered to him by his devotees as well as strangers, except for food here and there.
When a man is in the state that Maharaji was, he has a personality that is reflective of all loving personalities when considering him in totality, but the intention behind every action and word spoken by him is geared towards acting as a mirror from which the person in his presence is forced to confront themselves. This is how the guru teaches, not by putting words in your head, but by revealing your true nature by acting as the reflection of your true nature.
However I would think that the state of enlightenment and an acid trip are only similar in that they both are expansions consciousness. Other than that, LSD is just one of any myriad steps on the path.

 

I took 10 hits of liquid lsd, my second time ever doing it. My friend had a visine dripper full and he kept giving me hit after hit after hit. 10 hits compared to 1 is crazy... I totally agree at lower doses there like a filter. When i was on 10 hits, nothing made sense to me. I couldnt comprehend music, i couldnt grasp language, i heard everything backwards, i didnt understand time. I basically de evolved. I found the most joy in running up my stairs in to a bright bedroom and then running back down stairs into the dark for some reason it made the world make sense. On 10 hits I remember I tried to put a song on my IPOD it took me about 20 minutes to turn it on and another 20 to understand what I was doing, when i finally got the music on it sounded like screeching nothingness. I couldnt function on 10 hits I actually ended up falling asleep after about 8 hours which is wild because usually one hit leaves me up for a whole night or like 14 hours before i can sleep. 10 hits is life shattering...i dont know if i would ever do that much again because you actually believe that you will never get out of that stage. but i would love to see the fractional black and primer pink paisley print all over the place again... ugh lsd what a wonderful drug...

 

Something about stairs, aint there someguy?
When I first combined psychedelics, it was 3 blotters and an 1/8 of magic mushrooms, followed by another 1/8 7+hours into the trip.
By the time the second 1/8 hit me, of course the initial shift is overwhelming and defies reason and explanation, but I do remember climbing up and down the stairs in my last townhouse as the Sun was peaking over the city. I remember that I felt like a puma or a tiger or something, it's kind of fuzzy, but my vision turned everything green and it was kind of like Terminator interpretation, like seeing neon crosshairs locking onto and zooming in whatever captured my attention. So yea, I was like a Terminator panther lol. My breathing felt so heavy and my body felt so old, but my mind felt artificial and brand new and I slowly moved with my heavy paws up and down the stairs.
Then I went into the shower, which I couldnt get warm lol I kept turning it too hot and too cold so I just decided to take a cold shower, and when I relaxed and stood still under the water, I remember I was watching the dirt on the tiled wall go back in time, unsticking from the surface, then when the tiles were totally clean time went on fast forward and I watched the dirt accumulate.
Sometimes high doses of these psychedelics, especially when combined, are a complete mind fuck of too much imagination and too much connection with Nature blended into one confusing mess of nonsense. But beautiful of course.
God bless

 

this thread reminds me that I really haven't tripped balls to the walls in months....

I gotta get myself a new supply

 

I tripped a hanful of times this Summer, only with LSD though. But I think Im actually done for a nice long while now
Good luck in your search!

 

A very insightful piece , Mr. writer.
I've had a fair share of very enlightening trips myself and iv got to say my first was the most memorable ;
simply because it opened my mind to the infinite possibilities of the nothingness one delves into...sometimes.
One of the many states I went through is what I call the 'point of reaction'
A few hours into my first.. I felt something rather strange happen : my thoughts spiralled into themselves ;
almost like a perpetual deja vu. First there was the thought , and a split second later there was the mind's reaction to
the thought ; which ofcourse happens all the time but goes unnoticed .

On that plane however I started to distinguish between the two...the absorption and the reaction phases of the mind.
Once I understood it better , I also realised there was a way to get 'at',or just before the reaction phase...where all you do is
watch your body mind mechanism react , and you do so as a third person ; indifferently.
I tried to get there and failed.

Soon enough I realised the reason behind my failure... If I wanted to get just before the reaction phase , I must quit
trying to get just before the reaction phase ;because for every try I make I push myself back into absorption/ reaction.
I then made no conscious effort , and let go...
And soon enough it came to me... " I was trying to grab the moment , while all this time i WAS the moment"
And that moment is eternal...it is simply ...now.

And then I got stuck in the hole of nothingness... and everything was known ; simply because when the mind doesnt react
, there IS nothing ; and when there is nothing...

The hindus call this 'witnessing' : "thoughts come up but they are not taken delivery of"