I called a shelter today.

Yes.

 

I broke up with my ex, he got mad then I pretended that we were all good and 'got back' with him. Then I made a break for it.

 

im goin there. truly. id say in an hour.

its better then slingin dope.. i need to DEAL with shit n stop distacting.

 

I think you're wasting too much time trying to reason with all of the bullshit, you should be half way out the door already.

 

quick story. the one time i was TRULY scared for my life by a "boyfriend"
this is personal but real. i was pregnant. about 6 weeks...and he had been hitting me WHEN i was preggie... i went to a club (rave thing)..this was after i moved out finally.. i wanted the baby. i had clothes, names.. i was TRYING to do right.. i was only 17... he came to rave club n told me he had news about my mom and that is the ONLY reason i went outside. i was scared. i wanted to talk to him outside said event. he got me to go into his car... "a block" just to talk about my mom...
an hour later i had a knife to my throat... drivin into graveyards and him FLIPPING "imma kill u then me you bitch"

ummm he meant it. i swear.

this guy was insane. i finally convinced him i wanted back with him n needed my hoodie from the rave.
at that point my i was bleeding out my mouth and truly beatin looking
i told him i wouldnt look at nobody etc... DO NOT TALK TO ANYONE. there were only two bouncers there n about five friends. one look at me...cryin bleedin. i was real and i was walked out,protected n got a pfa. but what COULDA happened... he woulda killed me. im just glad it didnt happen.

 

THAT was scarier then dan but dan is scaring me hella bad. im OUT. dont worry.

 

You know Trish, you've said it yourself that you don't enjoy being home, around your home right now.

I think you should look into checking into a drug addictions clinic and find some safety in being there for yourself and getting better. You need to.

 

i WILL go talk to my gramma. it's my closet fam.

shell understand.

 

everyone loves dan cause he acts hella "nice"--- no one suspects.

that is typical though BUT if i told her the truth i GUARANTEE ill have a safe place to stay.

 

"father forgive them for they know not what they do"

im NOT a christian but that is my mantra lately... to help ME heal. let the higher power deal with it. they DONT know better. so pray for them. i hope they change but ill be damned if i sit back n let them bring ME down.

 

Did you call her

 

nah im just gonna show up in a dip. i hate the phone. i need her to SEE how serious i am. i aient playin tho. will do it.

 

I'm happy for you Trish. That you're getting help that is.

 

you need to go file a PFA.. and get in a shelter. after that they will help you with housing..
PFA will help you get somethings that you otherwise couldnt get, like a emergency cell phone and bump you up on housing lists...

You need to STOP playing the why me card and take control of your life..

By doing that that means ON your off time get the fuck out of the house and get real support.. No internet CRY GAMES..
Im about to hijack a ambulance and just show you how the fuck its done in PGH..
I cant belive in Philly you have no networks to help battered women..
I said ambulance cause I aint paying for 600miles worth of fuel..

 

It's remarkably easy to keep walking after taking the first step.

Don't look back. Stop thinking. Do.

 

STOP letting him~~pack your darn bags and get the hell out!

ok, living in a shelter isn't the american dream, but by the sounds living where u are now isn't either.
And nooooo, I ain't just talking out my ass.....I walked out on an ex and was living in a homeless shelter across the country when that ex died. I was there Christmas 2005-the first week of Feb 2006. And u (yes u Lucky) felt so bad that u offered to let me crash on your couch.

and that wasn't the first time I ever went in a shelter.

no offense Lucky, but I'm sorta glad I didn't make it to your couch then....I ran off and landed in a shelter to get away from drama. But every now & then as I travel across the country the last couple yrs you are 1 of the people I wonder about popping in on just to say hello.

 

if you look back youll turn into a pillar of salt...

 

LS you're getting some amazing and amazingly good advice and encouragement here. Please run with it. Please?

 

yea good advice. thanks n pray for me cause this aient easy...
okay i got a ques that most will feel is dumb but
is it EVER the girls fault.. if she was chemically dependent n shit? i can understand the ANGER but NOT the ABUSE. but i still wanna know is it right underproveked ever? cause he DOES try to tell me i deserve it.

 

Never.