I called a shelter today.

no matter what? even if he's right that i fucked up. its still not my fault?

im asking seriously cause a part of me thinks he's WRONG n it's ever right... but the scared, self hatred part of me thinks fuck i deserve it. I cant grasp my head around this shit.

So there is truly nothing you can do to deserve abuse n violence?? even if the anger is validated?

 

i want to believe that soo bad. but i cant. i CANT. i just wish he'd kill me.

 

Of course it's sometimes the woman's fault. Some women are just naturally evil, as are some men. Some women have addictive personalities and go from booze to drugs to penises to drugs to mom and dad to drugs and so forth. And some women are just so fucking irritating that some men can't control their urge to bitchslap. And so are some men.

The question is, are you one of these people???

 

ive made mistakes. but ive always tried to show love. that dont mean i didnt hurt him. but what i wanna know is... do you ever deserve violence when violence wasnt in the agena?

 

i feel like shit about this. i really do.

i dont like to even admit it happens to me.

 

OK that is a never.

 

its like this
"oh you bangin dope. you are drinking"

you are wasting money n being wasteful in general n i hate yer music too and you annoy me so i think ill hit you. good points. i should never have done what i did but does he have a right to abuse me? i dont get it.

 

and all he DOES is make me wanna get fucked up more. try bein hit by someone you DEFENDED for years.. said they changed.. yeah THAT is gonna get me off of drugs.


I KNOW he has a point but you dont fight it with violance.

 

never? really?
like its wrong even if i was wrong?

 

Instead of lamenting it you should be beating the bricks.

 

stop talking start doing
pack your shit, get out, go to your grandmas. empty out any of your bank accounts first so eh cant try to get ahold of them, joint account take half or so, take anything with you thats important enough to haul and dont expect to see any of your old shit again. dont talk to dan again, dont agree to see him for a tleast a year (preferably longer, like never)

 

its really never okay tho?even if they are mad for a real reason?
n yea im hella pissed. i think its wrong but what do i know?

just pray for me. seriously. pray for me.

 

He does not have the right to abuse you. Not for any of the reasons you've listed so far.

He DOES have the right to be a fucking man about things and remove himself from a situation that doesn't sound happy or healthy for either of you.

The only time I could see hitting a woman is if she started swingin' first. Even then..hitting her makes a guy look like a chump. Beating up on a woman doesn't give a man bragging rights for shit.

 

thanks.

 

No it's not okay.

And I'm not praying for you. I'm telling you, leave now.
Right now. Not later. Knock it off Trish. Just leave.
I don't care if your scared. Cowgirl up and call.

 

i NEVER hit him first.

never.

i was just pissed enuf that one time that i fought fire w fire. typically he thinks tho that.. he has every right cause he doesnt like how i was drug addicted. does that mean i need to be hit tho? its hard enuf to be withdrawlin n feelin hopeless then to be hit.. fuckkk all it does it make me wanna get drunk or cop.

ill get better.

 

i need prayers though. ive NEVER in my entire life felt this bad. yet i realize if i get over this.. IF..
Well i will finally be free n myself
so i want prayers cause i need them. its life or death for me. sad but tru.

 

I don't care. Figure this out when your somewhere safe.

Leave. Now.

 

agreed. we dont want another post from you for hours if not days, until you are not in the house with dan and until you are somewhere safe, where you can actually relax and breath enough to sort shit out

 

There is never any good reason to just reach out and strike another person. Especially someone you've pledged to love and cherish. We're not talking about defending yourself against an attacker.

GO. Please go.