"I can't come into work today because..."

I've been up all night leaning on the windowsill.

 

because I just got HOME from work! I'm so not going back.

(grabs blanket, lemonade and pillow) Time for me to lay out and enjoy green grass and mid70's for a while

 

I'm watching all the happy creatures dancing on the lawn.

 

I've been trampled by happy creatures dancing on the lawn...:ack2:

 

i stepped on a crack and broke my mothers back

 

I was cutting the rug in a place called the Jugg with a girl named linda lou.

 

Im spending my day walkin' down the line.
My feet'll be a-flyin'
To tell about my troubled mind.

 

I'm walking down that long lonesome road, were I'm bound I can't tell.
Well goodbye is too good a word, so I’ll just say fare the well.

 

This was my friends yesterday. Keep in mind the manager is his friend.

"Dude I can't come into work today. I just ate two hits of acid."

 

Today is my day of rest

 

I can't come in to work today because I AM work.

 

I'm writing an english paper

 

I've worked too hard outside of work itself.

 

living is work enough

 

my feet are too big for my shoes.

 

My bicycle is too obtuse for my guacamole fish.

 

Im watching the clouds roll by

 

President Idi Amin is 'ere in de flesh and ignor'in im would be a dam shame; plus, in me arrogance i seein no good reason why he shud'nt pull out de famous Webley .45

 

My flame thrower just arrived in the mail.

 

Me bacon'll burn