"I can't come into work today because..."

i lost my legs

 

im planning how to vandalize the city.

 

I'm stuck in a mud hole....

 

Im too busy trying to keep up with these other speedposting funnyasses

 

Godzilla

 

there's an essential one-off episode of 'birdwatching with bill odie in japan' on.

 

catapiller attack....

 

im seeing how many days i have to miss before i get fired

 

the place formely known as work is no longer work.

 

I no longer exist....

 

since farmout no longer exists, I have to take care of his farm til he remembers to think himself back into being.

 

the hipforums have taken over what's left of my shameful existence

 

LOL...same here..


I cant come in to work because of my Hipforum addiction...it keeps pulling me in deeper and deeper

 

aliens from Canada kidnapped my goats....

 

we have no aliens here but we love to eat goat cheese yum yum

 

beacause i used up all my sick days so im calling in dead.

 

i've been made redundant

 

I've been kidnaped by a band of guerillero revolutionary penguins who demand we instore sliding on the belly as the common means of transport.

 

i am being held hostage by the ukraine government for smuggling swimwear

 

I'm sitting back and cataloging what I'll be able to trade for to start my blacksmith's shop back up once the us dollar goes the way of the zimbabwai one. Thank gods I know how to make tools.

If anyone needs a plow, hoe, pitchfork or scythe, I should be starting business soon. I'll take trade in gold or silver jewelry, services (such as another place to set up shop or having certain items built for me) fresh or salted/dried meat, barrels of beer/wine/whiskey, purified water or a water purification system, vegetables or fruits (especially canned or home preserved) scrap iron/steel, tools or land.