I don't want to do it

TLO - not trying to make light of your predicament. Do you have Egyptian Flu or what?

 

No that is definitely the dumb bitches fault.

 

This is getting totally off point.

When you are in a relationship, you and your SO are supposed to watch out for each other. You should expect at least a bit of courtesy on the part of your partner to let you know that he saw that the condom broke. If it were a one night stand, I could understand this being partly her fault. But they were in a committed relationship, the condom broke, neither wants kids at the moment, but the boyfriend forgot to mention something until NOW.

In that other situation, where the woman just told the man she was on the pill but wasn't, yes, it's her fault, either way, committed relationship or not. That was withholding information just so you could get yourself a piece. WRONG.

LittleOne, I hope everything's okay with you. Let us know.

 

Exactly. It's not cool to upset someone that is in a delicate situation just to make some stupid point.

TLO, I responded in the other thread.

 

She wants to go blaming all this on her boyfriend, she's welcome to it.

But she'd be in the same bind if he hadn't noticed the condom break. Or if it hadn't broken but she'd still got pregnant.

Unless she was raped she was a willing participant. Not his fault or problem. Of course, it's not the wisest thing, shagging an unemployed loser without working out if you want to be pregnant or not and if not who's gonna pay for the abortion, or are you gonna adopt or whatever.

In the Big Boy and Big Girl world this stuff has consequences. Most human beings on this planet weren't planned.

 

If he hadn't noticed the condom broke, we wouldn't be having this discussion. She would have just said that contraceptives failed.

BUT HE DID NOTICE and he didn't say a damned word about it. Being in a relationship means you're supposed to care for your partner and their goals, as well as caring about your own. Not telling your girlfriend that the condom broke so that she can take care of it quickly shows you to be nothing more than an ignorant (or controlling) son of a bitch.

And just because he doesn't have a job doesn't mean anything. It does if he isn't LOOKING for one. But people hit rough patches. What if he's a construction worker? Everyone knows that the winter months are tough for them, especially if they aren't union. Since we don't know that part of the situation, we really shouldn't be judging.

 

IronGoth, youre a dumbass.

You arent even looking at the situation at hand. Youre too busy standing up on your soapbox spouting off bullshit that everyone knows already. The reason its his fault is because he DID know the condom broke, he knew that he came inside her, and didnt let her know.

Why is that so fucking hard for you to understand?

 

I'm not so sure.

She says it was ignorance. Have you ever made mistakes?

Actually she was the one referring to him as basically an unemployed bum. Take that up with her.

 

He knew that after the fact, which makes it immaterial.

OK, so how would you rate this culpability? 100% him?

 

HE KNEW WITHIN A 72 HOUR PERIOD IN WHICH SHE COULD HAVE GOTTEN THE MORNING AFTER PILL!

That makes it HIS fault for not telling her.

 

It doesnt make it immaterial for fucks sake. Do you know what the morning after pill is? What the fuck.

 

I do know.

Her boyfriend didn't.

She's already said the dude was ignorant. He wasn't controlling, he wasn't malicious, he just plain ass didn't know.

So why she's getting on his case for NOT KNOWING SOMETHING as opposed to LYING, CHEATING, etc. is beyond me.

And, like, she didn't notice that there was stuff running out of her? Sorry to be blunt and graphic, but if the wetbag did in fact break she'd have surely noticed something right?

 

I'm sorry to tell you that if the sex is good, the woman comes too. Making it kinda difficult to know if the dribbles coming out are from yourself or your partner.

And he was ignorant for assuming that it wouldn't affect anything. That was where his ignorance lies. But it still doesn't excuse him from his not telling her that the condom broke. I don't care if he thought it wouldn't matter or not, she had every right to know when it happened.

 

Don't be sorry, ya learn something new everyday.

Anyhow, if only he had told her the condom had broken, she would immediately have NOT been pregnant and all her problems solved.

I would well imagine that perhaps she might choose her partners better in future, and have enough socked away for an abortion before she does this again.

 

ConcealedCulture I agree with your point. I agree the dude should have told her, so she could have gotten some Plan B. But, please, we don't need to use personal insults. If you don't agree with Iron Goth, it's OK (he's used to it ) but personal attacks are not allowed.

State your point, disagree with someone, if you like, you may do so strongly if you like, no problem there. But name calling isn't needed.

Okay? Cool.

Maggie
Moderator.

As for this situation, Plan B is no picnic, but it beats the hell out of an abortion. Now, because her bf didn't tell her something she should have known, she is in a dire situation, which HE has no physical problems dealing with, it may be his checkbook eventually, but it isn't his body. Let's not forget we are talking about a young womyn's most difficult decision, here. She isn't just a concept. The OP is still here. I don't want her afraid to continue to post about this, as she needs the support.

I don't see why because some other guy has to open his checkbook once a month, to support his own chilld (yeah, that's parenting, writing a check!) why the OP's boyfreind is someone immune from responsibility. The least he could do is to get a job to help pay for the procedure. And maybe pay some rent, too.

 

Sorry Maggie
Didnt mean to get abrasive.. It is IronGoth though, we always get into it and piss each other off.

 

Mags: what I've maintained is this: that ultimately we are ALL responsible for ourselves.

 

You are right, we are responsible for ourselves. BUT, can't you agree that he should have been a responsible lover/boyfriend and told her, "hey, babe, the condomn broke."?

 

Yeah, but ultimately it's your fault for shagging a guy too stupid to realise this.