i fucked up

This is another aspect of this issue:

Any true hedonist understands the need for sobriety, pain, misery: the worse, the better, in fact.

 

yeah your'e right, to truly appreciate everything you need to appreciate sobriety. Just that when im sober, most of the time its not by choice because of money. And when i am on shit, its almost impossible to be bored. When sober, being bored is a given.
I have so much burnt foil because its pain in the ass to find places to throw them away lol so they all accumulate in my pockets.
And call it stupid sleepy drugs or w/e but truth is i have always had trouble with motivation, if anything drugs like black actually HELP my motivation, because it makes me WANT to succeed and be rich so that i can do that sht whenever i desire.
I do exercise regularly, i walk everywhere, couple miles from town, i been lifting dumbells and doin pushups and pullups on the door sometimes like 3 4 nights a week i do all that shit.
Alright i do need growing up mabey abit.
Anyways im laying here with my horrible horrible insomnia, got a room interview at 12, just 7 hours from now. No weed no sleeping meds what the fuck is wrong with me i cant sleep without bud at all, until like 7 or 8 am this sht always happens so fn annoying.
Also thoughts racing thru my mind how awesome its gonna be to be homeless on sunday (sarcasm) my buddy letn me use the bed in his gf family rv for a night at least. Just praying my dads not gonna ask questions to my roommate when he talks to him about getn the deposit back.
God i feel so fucked off u guys no idea how i can poss sleep which is makin shit worse.
Anyway thx roor, sometimes u seem like a complete dick but you can also be really helpful. I think i recall you making me laugh pretty hard sometimes too. Peace
￾

 

oh and tru dat happydude, moderation is key. I can have an addictive personality though, sometimes if something is awesome enough, i will do the shit out of it until i dont feel the fun from it anymore, not like i do that kinda thing with real dangerous activities very often, but lets be honest, things that are fun and addicting are that way because it is a treat, you get addicted to something because its wayy better than the alternative. I have been addicted to the same video game for over half a decade, its still fun. So i love being addicted to stuff, except my nicotine addiction thats the one bitch i DO hate. So ya its cool to know what you want, as long as you aren't destroying yourself you know.
And the thing with my dad using his money as a weapon, i know exactly what you mean and let me tell you he does do that lol.
I want a job but honestly i dont wanna work. I want something to get paid for doing what i like doing, but fuck me thats what everybody wants so im nothin special.

 

I've found with roorshacks posts he speaks his opinion and most of the time it's the truth, and the truth hurts.

 

haha ya couldnt have said it better.

 

He Has Learn't A Lot From Past Mistakes In His Life, And To His Credit He Offers Good

Advice To Others, I Suggest You Act On It FD...



Cheers Glen.

 

and...this is why you're about to be homeless.

if it talks like a bum, and acts like a bum...

 

Let Me Guess.......It's A Duck........Right....????



Cheers Glen.

 

ya im a goddamn bum alright fuck you.
Cheers glen good seeyin ya.

 

As for not being able to sleep without weed, I know the feeling, and I've found the only way around it (without more weed) is to stop smoking, after a few weeks you'll be able to sleep normally, not to mention, you actually need less sleep when you're not smoking, which can be strange feeling at first.

Maybe you need a hobby? Make your dad build a muscle car with you, even if neither of you know how

 

you want money, but you don't wanna work. do you have a job?
you're dad supports you for now, until he finds out you're smoking heroin again.
sounds pretty bum-ish to me.

change it.

 

My dad has a disease that he cant really do anything physical really. Hes really busy programmer too.
Im not gonna stop smoking weed lol, weed is a part of me.
Yeah i work part time cleaning on the weekends not really much but i obviously need another job.

 

not sure how these statements are relevant to the conversation.

 

Thats cause i wasnt talkin to ya jack@sss.
haha just playin.

 

I don't know Dacre.

I've never been in that kind of predicament, but I've probably imbibed more drugs than you could imagine over the years. I've always worked hard and never wanted for anything because of it. The one time I hit rock bottom my parents took me in for a few months and I was back on my feet in no time.

 

I don't even . . .

 

I gotta ask... what are you doing atm? It's been a few days past Sunday.

Maybe it's time to be a good boy and live with Dad. Not all jobs suck ya know. And, you get to go home after 4 hours sometimes even.

 

Yeah my dads selling the house I grew up in, I can't be there he always says each time I ask him of the hundreds of times i asked.
Anyways if you must know kokujin I am homeless right now. I stay at my dads work on weekends where im at now, and ive been staying with my best homies girl's house a lot but their parents found out the other day and i cant really go back there. I have checked out like 4 places so far I think i might get something.

 

That's where you're posting from, your dad's workplace?

 

lol yeah, he has 2 lush ass monitors connected as one computer, you can move your mouse across the whole entire 2 monitors. Such good quality house music too.