I had a baby with the wrong man

I for one can't see how people feel that this man should be allowed to have children.

 

For the families where that is the case--I fully agree. Courts are VERY favorable towards the mother...that, however, is not the case in our situation. I am a great mom. I know it. He knows it. Done.

And I'm sorry for calling you a dick head. You obviously WANTED to see your children, whereas he does not. I am truly sorry you had to go through all of that heartache for an un-just claim.

You're right though, you don't know all sides of the story, and unfortunately you cannot. You now know mine though. Thank you for your opinion and time responding to all of this. I wish you the best with your girls.

 

objectivity. we've not had the pleasure.

 

see, that's the only problem - you've said you think the guy is a bad guy, you think he would do this or that

but you've not actually given any example as to anything bad that he has done.

i think tomorrow it will rain marshmallows :mickey:

 

You stated that he changed from when you first knew him. What caused the change in him?

 

Good luck sweetie I hope all goes well.

 

I originally wrote a post about how we can't possibly know, went back to make sure I was remembering the OP correctly, then read the linked thread for the first time.

I mean, just these things make him a questionable choice for a parent:
-Never held a job longer than 6 months
-Does not have a permanent place of residence
-Sells/grows weed (ALOT)

But if he is belittling towards children and emotionally unstable, with anger issues; forget it.

I mean talk about lack of objectivity:

Your mind was made up form the start of the thread.

The one part where I can give your argument credence is that I have only heard her side of the story and choose to believe her opinions.

 

TIB--I Witnessed all the things I was afraid of with his first son. No, there was never any physical violence if that's what you mean. During the 4 years we were together...I was the one who took care of HIS son by another woman. Who will take care of mine when he's in his custody?

J--I'm not really sure. Part of it was me being naive and young, part of it I'm guessing was because he was able to be himself more, part because we grew apart, idk.

 

It's not like she's taking her son away from a hard-working man who loves his son and wants to provide for him. The guy isn't around to even see his son, doesn't help financially to make sure this kid has food in his belly and a safe place to live. Generally doesn't like kids and from the sounds of it has some anger issues.. to the point where she has to have a friend around constantly around the time of him being served his papers.

You honestly think that's a good person for a child to be around? Father or not it takes more then the act of impregnating someone to be a good father.

I think you're doing the right thing completely. It sucks that you have to go through this at all.

I hope all goes well. I don't think you'll have a problem getting full-custody.

 

What was the fathers father like?

 

this is where I loose it too.

Thank you wf. And I'm not just taking him away from someone who lacks those qualities, I'm giving him to someone who already has them!

 

Exactly like my ex but to a greater degree. I don't think that man has ever had a conversation with my ex that didn't start at the same volume as a jack-hammer.

 

wild-flowers - we only have her side. I am asking questions because I have seen what women can be capable of. I am not interested in your questioning my questioning. I am thinking about the child. Try reading my post with a friend to help you with the big words.

 

His father is an indication that raises a red flag. We are all a lot more like our own parents than any of us will ever admit. Especially an overbearing parent. We learn how to be a parent from our parents or lack of a parent. In your opinion, would he be willing (and able to benefit from,) some kind of counseling or mentor? How old is he?

 

It's true. That's why I don't want my sons parenting views skewed by him. As for counseling, I'm sure he would start it...

He's 26 btw

 

I like that you're looking out for your fellow man, even though I don't agree with your need to be suspicious.
We need to stick together in these trying times where it's a crime to have balls

 

I wasn't even talking to you fool. Don't be so fucking condescending.

 

Duck - I am looking out for the child more then the father. Wild-flower - Yes you were directing that at me and anyone who is questioning the mother.

 

i assume you still take care of this child?

 

barefootlocks - Suggest counseling before taking away his rights. He is young enough to get his act together. Doing it through the courts "may" have more of an impact on him and can provide you with some kind of record of progress. If his father is really as you described, he didn't have a chance to learn what a good parent is and needs to learn a different path. Supervised visitation during this process may give you some piece of mind as well as provide the child at least some contact with his biological father. (This is a humiliating experience for a parent but he may realize why it has to be like this and motivate him to change) If he is not willing to do this, or if he is not willing to truly put in the effort, you may have no choice but to proceed with removing his rights as a father. But that should be the last resort.