I have never been single.

same. I could mannage a common law or w.e

just some girl to share my life with in moderation.

 

I think having your own separate life.. well, not so much separate necessarily but being able to do your own thing and not being together 24/7.. is so important if you want to have a healthy relationship. Like for example, my fiance's parents... They've been married for nearly 40 years but they seem so unhappy together. His dad gets crazy jealous if his mum wants to go out and do stuff she enjoys doing without him. Like she's really into horses and riding and stuff.. and he hates it whenever she wants to go out and makes her feel bad about it. How suffocating would it be to be in a relationship like that? And then Tim's mum is always amazed at how Tim and I can do our own stuff and have our own friends and not be tied to each other every single moment... It's bizarre.

 

Yeah I totally agree... you need to be able to do your own thing and stuff... I mean my husband has no problem if I want to go away for however long with friends and do my own thing... which I actually do a couple times a year... and I dont mind him doing his own things.... I encourage it actually... it's defiantly very important.

 

I mean its cool to love someone, but when your new wife, gives birth to a kid. Your wallet, time, and a lot of other things, are tied...for 18 years.

As for a wife, I wouldn't want one either, things just go bad.

 

I dunno, I'm probably jaded/biased from being a loner like TheSongRemainsTheSam. But the way I see it is if you meet your match young and stay together, that's one thing. The romantic side of me can't help but believe in that. But a string of back to back relationships indicates some kind of issue.. Personally there is no way for me to connect with people one after another like that, I need some time for myself in between.

I also wonder how limited personal growth is in those situations, like someone else mentioned. Times of being alone are really great and positive as far as getting to know and understand yourself goes.

Not to bring in gender, but I see this pattern in a lot of girls. Probably because they don't really have to work as much in finding a partner compared to guys. But either way. To me, it's a turn off. I like knowing that the girl is with me because she actually likes me. Not because she just needs someone there.

 

Dude....exactly.

 

See this really annoys me (no offense... i like you and i hope you dont take this personal)....

But again...
My first relationship was from age 15 to age 18.5--- I moved in with my husband when I was 20.5.

During the two years in between I had three relationships... I didn't love any of them and maybe during that time I was just with people to be with them.... I was homeless and stuff during it and stayed with this one guy just for a place to stay..whatever on that though...

But if you really look at the time frame of not being single from age 15 to now (almost 28).... 12 years or so of it were in TWO RELATIONSHIPS.

 

kay...
you gonna read what i wrote under your post? stuff i already posted throughout this thread!

 

Yeah, right. You know how many times I've heard that jazz?

In a few months you'll be all drooling in love and shit.

 

I just fail to understand how TWO relationships in a 12 year time period is being with people "just because"......

Someone explain to me?

 

Weird ? Nah....
So you never been single, so what ? Its not a big deal.


I've personally never been in a relationship longer than 3 weeks or so. I just cant.

 

None taken.. and I hope you didnt take that personally. Everyone is different, I'm just saying for myself and people I'm with its preferred to be more independent. Like I said I am most definitely biased in this area. I have the opposite problem. I could be in relationships, but instead I have spent years of my life alone.

 

Well when I actually find a girl that is interested in me, I'm all over it. I fall for her faster than anything you can imagine. I think it might be because its so nice to have someone, or if i'm actually in love, because I fool myself sometimes.

Anyones guess

 

Thanks Piaf.

I just love how all these other people like to make assumptions when my relationships have probably been more based on love and being allowed to be your own person but most people's relationships here (or at least the amount of time they have lasted)....

 

I guess I am taking things a bit personally...
Only because I was expecting people to say stuff like this...

And I know I am actually VERY independent and I don't think being in a relationship or not being in a relationship has to define whether a person is independent or not.... not neccasarily....

 

Exactly. If you were happy in those relationships, than its not weird or bad at all.

 

Lucky, chill! haha damn!!

We aren't talking about you specifically, I don't know your relationships to judge them. I was just speaking in general terms..

 

Love is real. Your perception of it can be skewered.

Ill know when I truly love someone, if I don't feel that love. I'm not going to waste their time.

 

I was single for like a year...it was sooo different. I actually loved it and felt like I could be myself. I wouldn't want to be single now though. I would just like to take some things back I did early on in my relationship. I am thinking I may have caused too much damage for it to be 'healthy' for awhile. I also wish I didn't let myself go so much.

 

Hehe....thanks guys...

Ugh... you know what... I've taken less of my benzos today then usual... I'm not taking the ativan anymore... it's been about 35 hours and I only took 2 mills of valium in almost a day.... I think I'm about due to take about 5 mills of valium n chill out. I know I am over reacting

:chill: