I have no SEX DRIVE!!!!!

get ye to a doctor
get your thyroid checked. your hormone levels checked. whatever hormone that is involved in breast milk, check that too (it can affect libido). get checked for endo too, if you get pain during intercourse

yes its normal for some women. for a good many others though, its due to chemical imbalances

 

I can't pretend to know your entire situation, but this seems wrong to me. I would never tolorate my husband taking it out on the children or me. It's not your fault. It's your body, you have absolute final say so about what happens to it. He shouldn't get to throw the equivelent of a temper tantrum and make you feel bad, or feel like you have to.

Consider consuling for the both of you. Maybe take a trip together to an adult toy store. You can buy stuff to use together as a couple, and you can help him pick stuff out to use when you really don't want to.

 

first off, you need to show your hubby this thread...so he's very aware of your problem and concerns.

second, you two need counseling... 1)to get over the rape, it's impacting your views toward intimacy... 2) for the two of you to get on the "same page" or "same side of the bed" You two aren't communicating enough of what you are both feeling.
communication begins with trust and honesty. "together" Admit your problems with sex, your fears and approach them together head-on.

This can be fixed, once on the same page... then if theres some issues there on your sexdrive, see a doctor... so much of lifes stress plays a key part that all this weighs the issues down even more.

at this point seek professional advice and you'll be good to... you know!