I have to let all this out somewhere...

no problem.. i ain't gonna lie.. the SL is one of the best support groups EVER.. the help from these guys and gals here has meant a lot to me too :cheers2:

 

I'm writing this just after reading your original post, before reading any of the following posts, because my attention span is short, and I want to get it out before I forget it.

You remind me of myself at the time when I went to college, wandered through a few majors, and then dropped out after three semesters for lack of direction and motivation to pursue things on the academic level. I wanted, at that point in my life, to get practical, and live a life, not just study one. Now, in retrospect, I realize that it was largely because I was smoking a lot of pot and playing music on the benches and grassy areas of the college, hoping to be "discovered" by someone who would recognize what a talented young man I was. Fat chance.

Life is what you make it, with the addition of some breaks.

Your indecision is both due to the marijuana, and your personality. You are one of those who is called a "perceptive" on the Myers-Briggs test, the one that results in assigning you four letters, each standing for a particular aspect of your personality type. The opposite type, other than perceptives, are "judgers", who come to convenient conclusions and make decisions easily.

Perceptives like to leave things open, look for the possibilities, opportunities, and alternatives, before coming to a conclusion, which they tend to avoid until absolutely necessary.

You are NOT STUPID. Your verbal and literary skills show an intelligence that properly focused can be utililized in various directions, depending on your choices and willingness to learn and to commit.

Business, though it is probably a negative in your mind, is the ability to "make something" of your talents.

You, probably as I did, tend to devalue those things that come easiest to you. In doing so, you underestimate the legitimacy of these talents, in relation to the world around you. Not everyone is like you, and some people are, believe it or not, much "stupider" than yourself in various ways. We are not all alike, and you should focus on those ways in which you are different than others, in order to optimize these areas of yourself, and become useful or productive in the way you would want to. You need to decide what aspect of your personality you wish to invest in, in order to re-invest yourself back into your chosen community.

Here's the problem:

Let's say, for the sake of the imagination, that you were one of a few of pioneers in an early pioneering community of, let's say, 12 people. You know how to cut wood, and hunt, while others know how to sew, or clean, or cook, or whatever. If you, who know how to cut wood and hunt, would be found hanging around the cabin sweeping the floor all day, how would the others feel? Would it become obvious to them that you weren't doing what you are capable of, for the sake of the community? Yes it would.

We live in a community. The world. Yet, we forget that we need to be adding something to this community, because the community has become so large, and we think "Oh well, there are plenty of others to do my job".

Just think as if you were in a smaller community, and see if you can come up with what it is that you wish to accomplish in life that would make you feel as if you had given back to the community in the best way, okay?

This way, you optimize your cousin's investment in you.

By the way, I know what you mean about hating performing. I was like that. I enjoy music, but whenever I have a gig, and am expected to show up and perform, it feels too much like "work". Once I get to perform, the fun begins again, most of the time, but in the mean time, the arrival, the portage of equipment, the set-up, the nerves, the co-ordinating with the other performers, it's all just so much work. But work is unavoidable.

Because of my avoidance of work, I actually ended up becoming an electrician for most of my life, just to earn money. It was a very frustrating and unrewarding experience, for the most part. I hated almost every minute of it, due to the environment, the types you had to work with, etc. I wished so many times that I had chosen a musical career in the first place, where I felt I belonged. No matter how much knowledge I gained of electrical work, I always felt like a fish out of water, because of my creative instincts going both unnoticed and unfulfilled.

Don't do that.

Do something fun, even if it's just writing about it, like you did here. Writing is also an option. Think about it.

 

That's what I should have done. Hmm,,

 

Short ass response:

 

teehee

 

i wish you luck.

 

If you like to watch people why dont you look into anthropology.
Im a people watcher to, and looking back this is what I wish I would have gone to school for...that or sociology.

 

go ahead and fart..

 

Brrrrraappppphtphtphtphtphtahhhhh,,,pht,,pht,,,pssshhhhhhh,,

 

y

 

^ totally unnecessary

 

deleted post.

- think the topic is just too funny. you have 100 grand , you're out of High school, and you don't know what to do with your life lol.

Do you smoke weed? if so, don't; its not for you. - I have noticed it can take away someones drive in life. and yours, is completely gone from what I can tell..

and imo, becoming a musician is a completely unrealistic option in todays world; if you like music, compose it after you've got steady, good paying job.

 

College isn't about wallowing in self-pity because you "can't." You won't have any time for that. It's about learning and growing, so that by the end of it maybe you won't such at everything you enjoy.

If you have a deep reservoir of emotion, use it. That's what art is for, man. Or, as the Sugarcubes said:

Don't act like there is no tomorrow

You should use the pain and the sorrow

To fill you up with power

Life's both sweet and sour!

That can be daunting, but think about it: is applying yourself, having to do a little work (god forbid!) really something to "dread"?

Nothing worth doing is easy. Learn to compose.

You'll never know whether you're really stupid or just lazy unless you try.

You might not care now but you might care in ten or twenty years.

Don't put yourself down so much man. Do you know what a self fulfilling prophecy is?


You're just a kid (post-adolescent if you prefer) lost in the world like the rest of us. Chill out, close your eyes and float downstream. It isn't dying.

 

nice post drone, +rep.

 

best advice

 

hahaha i just saw this now

 

man i got stoned last night and started thinking about all this kinda stuff while i was driving. thanks a lot check.
like...shit man....life is almost here. this sucks!

 

I totally agree.