i KNOW i was raped once but tell me...was THIS rape too.... or not...

of course saying no means rape.


I would disagree wiht the "not being able to consent" bit though(in certain circumstances, of course). If a married couple gets drunk(i.e. not in a state to give consent), is it rape?! i think thats ludacris.

 

The law doesn't. And rape in marraige can be and IS a crime.

 

again, that didnt touch on anything i said.


If two people who are drunk have sex, neither is technically in a state to consent, is it rape then?

 

Just being "drunk" doen't make one unable to give consent. Being incapacitated does. TWO people, both experiencing an alchoholic black out have sex? I have NO idea. But if ONE is unable to give consent, then it IS rape, according to the law.

 

oh, i see, so being drunk doesnt impair your decision? You dont think a drunk person's ability to give consent is at all impaired by their state of drunkeness? of course i'm not talking about a person passed out in the corner, but someone who has had way too many drinks.

 

CAN, doesn't neccesarily.

Interval, I am sorry your thread was hijacked. I will stop now. I am making the point over and over again.

You were raped, interval. I am so sorry.

 

and who can make that judgment call on when it does and doesnt impair the ability to give consent?

and yes, i too am sorry you were raped, ashame you didnt get the guy locked up.

 

My friend has recently confessed to me that she was in a similar situation... she's now not sure if she's a virgin anymore...

I'm so angry and sorry that women have to go through shit like this in their lives. Interval, I really feel for you... I can't find the words to describe how I'm feeling right now.

 

This absolutely is rape. Just think about it objectively....

He asked and you told him no multiple times. So he waits until you are asleep...if you were sleeping how can you be concenting to sex? ESPECIALLY since you already told him the answer was no. You told him no, and he had sex with you anyways.

This IS being taken advantage of, but it is also rape.

And most importantly, Interval, YOU feel violated. YOU didn't want it. YOU said no.


And megera likes to throw "what if's" everywhere like he is actually making a point. Basically, it is as simple as this...A married couple gets drunk and crazy, and no one says "yes, lets have sex" but they have sex. Now, question is, did the woman want the sex? If yes then it is all good. If no then she was raped. If she felt her husband forced her than it is rape. Married couples are very intuned to eachother, and know how to communicate there sexual desires (or lack of) well enough so that no one gets taken advantage of. And if that's not the case, and her husband forced sex on her, then it is rape. Pretty simple...

And if both people are willingly having sex then they are both plenty conscience enough to consent. If the woman isn't conscience enough a man should not be getting his rocks off in her. If a man isn't conscience enough he can't even have sex...And if he is just blindly putting his cock in women becuase he is so drunk or whatever, he deserves the rape charges just the same. Being drunk is no excuse for forcing yourself on a woman. If we allow that excuse then we might as well let rape be legal...

No matter all the "what if" scenarios you could come up with, it is as simple as this...If a woman feels forced to have sex, if it is against her will, if she cannot and did not consent, it is rape.

 

do you understand where my what if came from?

A person who is drunk cannot make an informed decision on consent. Maybe you've never had this experience, but a lot of people have done STUPID stuff drunk that they wouldnt have done sober.

You can call it a crazy what if, but its a situation that affects men every single day of every single of week of every single year.

If you pick up a girl at a bar and sleep with her and the next day she goes "OMG what did i just do?" should she be able to say its rape because she was drunk and wasnt in a position to give consent?

Most people dont give 'verbal consent' on sex, it is consent through going along with the act. Should a person who went through the act be able to turn around and say she wasnt in the right mind to consent, therefore she was raped?

No one is talking about a guy forcing himself on anyone. Those situations are indeed rape.

 

never considered it rape...but what was it?????



Absolutely not! By you not saying anything is as good as handing out a permission slip.

 

She said no multiple times.

 

But then she said she started acting like a ho and stopped saying "no". I dunno. I wasn't there.

 

So she should have to say no all night? Once should be enough.

WTF is wrong with some people here?

Should I have to constantly and repeatedly say "no" when I am around men to make sure they don't have sex with me?

 

I read somewhere that 1/2 of women go through this same sort of situation, and me too was one of them. It is a rape that shouldn't have been. Just like a 12 yr old can steal, or shoot a gun and kill someone mostly because they were never taught that it was wrong, a woman can give up on saying no because they don't have enough training on how to say no. With some men, you have to say no, then fuck no, then get away or say get away, then call the cops or enlist your "bf" to protect you, then understand that you may lose friendships tied to the "beggar", that you won't see him again (not that you should want to) and that you may end up homeless unless you are then trained on how to get support.
That's not easy, and still not something mothers or fathers talk to their daughters about, or that daughters even know that they're gonna have to deal with it until the night someone whispers in their ear!!! Or in my stupid case, offers a stupid massage and tells you they know how hard it is to be you blah blah blah what beautiful eyes you have, I need to touch you... men can be disgusting, and other men should uphold the honor of their gender by beating the crap out of them.
My incident was 10 years ago now, and believe it or not, every once in a while I still see this loser and don't confront him, don't know if I should.
I hope you can take solace in knowing you'll never let it happen again, and perhaps you can pledge to support teenage girls who may find themselves in similar situations.
You are worth it!
Becca

 

Amen, Becca. I am sorry you experienced this, too.

IMO guys who beg for sex are pathetic. Real men take a "no" with no problem.

 

that's a damn good question. there was a thread in love and sex not too long ago where a girl was really drunk at a party, went to try to go to bed (was going in and out of consciousness, throwing up, passing out) and some guy came in and had sex with her, she couldn't even really remember it, let alone if she said yes or no but she was obviously NOT in a position to consent, and half of this forum jumped down her throat that she was essentially just a little slut and that it wasn't rape.

WTF indeed. rape sucks. it's sad that it happens, and i'm sorry trish, and anyone else among us who has been there before too..

 

She admitted that she started acting like a ho after saying no a few times or so. I think this act may have shed a new light on the situation as far as the perp point of perspective.

 

If he believed you were asleep, then yes, it was rape. I'm not sure why some people want to pick at your comment about acting "kinda slutty" (which I'm not sure how you meant it -- did you act slutty after saying no repeatedly, or is this a comment on your general outward appearance during that period of your life?)... Who cares how you acted. No behavior justifies taking advantage of the fact that you are (or at least seem to be) unconscious. No means no means no, no matter how "slutty" you may act, no matter how horny or turned on he may be.

I hate to hear about girls (and women, but all too often they are still girls when they wind up homeless) who find themselves in this sort of situation. I know that I was lucky -- I found another woman to travel with & teach me the ropes & teach me to protect myself from assholes who would take advantage of someone in that position. I wish everyone who finds herself on the streets could be so lucky.

 

It's not some people, just Bug Man