I need advice. I dont know what to do

jaded3 · Feb 17, 2012

papa wolf said:

You don't need to "disappear" , you need to level with her and tell her how you feel . That you want her back , and that you still love her . Why I don't know , but that seems to be the case . What's more important is you need to get the TRUTH from her about her intentions . And my guess is she will not give you the truth .

So you will be left with two options :
#1) Keep hanging on to yesterday , being strung along by her and her confused whims .
To keep you in the dark while throwing out the "maybe" syndrome to you , chasing your own tail in circles . And right where she wants you at her becond call.

#2) Level with her tell her you want her back (which she already knows ) , and ask her what she wants and what her intentions are between the two of you . Honesty is what you need from yourself to her , and from her to you . And there are some woman out there whom you will never get that from . (Not that she is like that , there are some that are ) And if it's anything less than she wants to be with you right now , then you need to move on . No nonsense like "it's complacated" or "I need time" or " I'm not sure" , then you need to remove yourself from the situation ,let her go and find another girl . Who wants to be with you .

I'm a firm believer in past results indicate future results , if circumstances are left unchanged . It didn't work the first time . You broke up and she is seeing another , you are not . As of now , we don't even know if she is still seeing this guy . You need to be honest and ask her . " Do you have a boyfriend , or dont you "? And in all honesty , if she does , then she is being dishonest to him with you . Even if it's not sexual , she is seeing her old boyfriend behind his back. And in all honesty , can you say she won't do the same to you , if you did get back together ?

Moving on is tuff , when you love someone . We have all been through it , or will be . It's a bitch and it hurts , yet sometimes we must do it . One sided love doesn't work my friend . In any event you need to be honest with her about your intentions , and she needs to be the same with you .

And if her answer is no , maybe , I need time or stalling . Then you need to let her go and find another . And if that's the case , then you should tell her . I love you , I want to be with you , but it's clear you don't feel the same . I'm not going to take a back seat to another . And to save myself from any more heartache , confusion or dashed hopes . I have to remove myself from the situation . While I wish you all the best , please don't call or text me anymore . As I need to move on , and put this matter behind me . You don't need to disappear or ignore her , you need to get the truth from her or let it go .

And who knows maybe she does want to be with you again , the point is until you're honest with her you're not going to get anywhere .
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If I tell her how I feel I think it might just push her further away

Vettester · Feb 17, 2012

jaded3 said:

I know. But what would you suggest. Just to disappear?
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Try doing what Ive done more than once, that is move on. The greatest of struggles that we all face is on your plate , bite the bullit and quit it. in time youll stop needing her, it seems you have a no win in this one.

papa wolf · Feb 17, 2012

jaded3 said:

If I tell her how I feel I think it might just push her further away
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Yes you're right , it just may push her further away . Yet what's the alternative ? A relationship in limbo , where you're scared to tell her how you really feel ? And you don't really know where the hell you stand . I understand how you feel , and we have all been there too . Yes it sucks , yes it hurts and yes we do get over it . And the fastest known way , is by seeing other people . Time really does heal most wounds . And maybe she will come back , and maybe she won't . Either way it won't be your fault . If you are honest with her about your feelings of wanting to be with her . It gives the choice to her to make . So she either comes back , or you walk away with a clear concious knowing that you tried your best . And in the mean time my man, get out there and chat up some new chickadee's .

jaded3 · Feb 20, 2012

any other thoughts?

TheMistress · Feb 20, 2012

just tell her the truth. tell her that you can't be friends because it makes things too hard. tell her to please stop contacting you because you need to get over her.

jaded3 · Feb 22, 2012

Should I block her on facebook. It just doesn't do anything for me to be able to see her in pics with her boyfriend and stuff. Or will is that just unnecessary. Will she think I'm being childish or immature??????

I'minmyunderwear · Feb 22, 2012

you don't have to look at her facebook pics...

still nothing wrong with unfriending her.

jaded3 · Feb 22, 2012

Won't unfriending her give her the impression that I'm not over her. This wouldn't be a good step in getting her back, would it?

jaded3 · Feb 22, 2012

anyone?

Cherea · Feb 22, 2012

Dude, you may ignite the use of a whole new term on the internet. And that is, the trollmat.

jaded3 · Feb 22, 2012

what is that suppose to mean?

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