i saw my body...

yay! your awesome Christina!

 

I agree with everyone here who said that all women have hang-ups about their body. Whether it be a little pudge here, some cellulite there, boobs are too big, to little, etc. .. we all have something we don't like about ourselves. Those skinny girls that you're talking about? There is something they wanna change about their body too...pounds my be your issue, but boobs, butt, lips, or thighs might be one of theirs!

I've always been a big girl. And only recently have I become okay with that. Well...about as 'okay' as one can be with being fat, I suppose. I've always been told that I have a good personality and a pretty face, so that helped me become a little more self-accepting over the years, and alot more outgoing than some big people.

I know that one of the main hippy things is to embrace all that is natural; the way you were born, and stuff like that...but the fact of the matter is, I'm 18 years old and at 5'5", I weight alot more than I'm supposed to. So I've taken steps towards changing that, and I'm having surgery soon to help my weight problem. I'm just tired of being fat and unhealthy. And if I ever did get the money to have cosmetic surgery - I won't lie - I would get breast implants in a heartbeat! Also, I have an eye disease that messes with the muscle in my right eye, and I wouldn't mind having that fixed either.

But anyways! The key is to just realize that you are beautiful, no matter what YOU think - there are people out there who have found something about you that they think is gorgeous and wouldn't change for the world. A little exercise that you can do every day is to look at yourself in the mirror and try to avoid negative thoughts, and say, "You are one of the most beautiful things on this Earth." and smile at yourself. It may sound ridiculous, but if you do it on a bad day...it'll definitely help pick you up a little bit.

I think all women are beautiful...not only because of my sexuality, but also because I AM a woman and I know how the psyche is - it can be difficult to be female, and have all these hang-ups about your body or different aspects of your life. Its normal, and we don't have to like it...but its a never-ending cycle, so we've gotta find ways to either fix things or live with them!

 

aww bella... your very wise! Your beautiful too.

 

Well, for a different spin on body weight issues, I happened to see something interesting on tv this morning... While channelsurfing, I stumbled upon VH1's Totally Obsessed... One of the people featured on this episode was a woman whose goal in life is to gain weight, until she is around 500-600 lbs. She forces herself to eat like 14,000 calories a day (remember, the nutrition panel on most foods use 2,000 per day as their standard). Every time she gains another inch on her tummy or hips, she gets excited, claiming to feel sexier with each inch...

 

i hesitated answering this thread, cuz i usually dont like talking about this stuff, but i used to be like that. I would honestly stare at myself in the mirror and pick out everything i hate about myself. Suddenly one day i asked myself, why, why i hate the things on me that i do......and i realized the only reason i do, is because the idea of "beautiful" that was in my mind, is irrational. I'm not made to be a size 2. No matter how much weight i lost, no matter what i did, i could never attain that because my body is just not built that way. And i gradually learned to accept that. I havent changed much physically, but definitely have mentally. So my boobs arent perfect? oh well, they're just boobs. So my tummy's not very fit, so what, it's just a tummy. My body can still do things just like everyone else, just because it's not how magazine ppl are, doesn't mean it's not functional. People have always appreciated me regardless of these things, and whoever doesn't, just isn't for me. I have more confidence than i've ever had, and i love it. Every day i realize how much i've missed out because i was too busy wallowing in self pitty because i didnt like my body. Now, i'm more attractive than ever...to myself. And because of this, i'm heaps more attractive to everyone else. I've had people say to me "wow you look so good! what's different about you?" and nothing is. Without feeling so down on myself anymore, i hold my head up higher, my shoulders straighter.....i have more fun......i smile more.......my eyes shimmer more......i'm not clouded with this self hate anymore.

All of you girls are beautiful in your own individual way, even though i only know what a few of you look like. A body is JUST a body....you just have to learn to see and accept that. Beauty is what YOU make of it. Not ANYONE else. I hope something i've said has helped in the least bit, i promise you girls, once you are up and out of this self hating stage in your life, you will appreciate so many more things about yourself, about other people, and about life.

 

i agree here. bella thanks for sharing that. thanks for being honest too.
i'm not an unhappy person i guess you could say but yeah there are things that i do dislike. all of your stories do help and i hope they help the others that have posted on here about there problems. It does take alot of courage to stand up in a mirror and look at yourself and actually like what you say. That probably sounds so lame cuz I know that there are other things out there to have courage about. But its not something that comes over night. Accepting my body would be so awesome, b/c that would be mean great self esteem and maybe even getting past my fear of getting too close to a guy emotionally. Which i know is sad, basing a relation ship with a guy on your body type....:|WOW could you be any more pitiful? well.....yeah prolly.
I dont know, all these stores might actually help, it does give me something to think about.
thanks so much you guys, i love you all.

nova

 

wow thanks hun, that was beautiful. you guys are an amazing group of girls!!!
nova

 

that's interesting....i'm not sure why someone would do something like this but to each their own i suppose right?

 

Even after being committed to working out at the gym every morning at 6 am and losing weight, I still am not happy with my body. I am not sure I will ever be able to accept it. I think it's just plain ugly. I have the same problem when it comes to getting close to boyfriends because I don't feel attractive, regardless of how much they compliment. I don't think I will ever love the way I look.

*hugs novarys*

 

:& hehe.. Thank you, Earthy Mama! You just brightened my day a lil bit. :sunglasse

 

Aww, hon, don't downplay your problems...for some women, they really do have to gather up all their courage to be able to say/do something like that...and it isn't ridiculous at all. Its hard to be happy with yourself, but if you really want to - it'll happen someday. I wish you luck and all the self-love your heart can hold!

 

i'm a big girl. bigger than i used to be, too. i always hated myself for it, to the point of wanting to inflict bodily harm. but my husband, who adores me and thinks i'm wonderful, pretty much commanded me to start saying to myself "i'm beautiful! i'm gorgeous! i have a special appeal." it was so hard to do at first. and i've graduated to being able to shake negative thoughts about myself outta my head with barely any effort. as i came to accept myself, to not be down on myself, i DID become more attractive, and i DID start to see someone else in the mirror. i saw what was there, not what some fashion director tells me should be there. i also have to say, i NEVER EVER look through fashion magazines anymore. that funny song from a few years ago is right, don't read fashion magazines, they'll only make you feel ugly.

 

that was the first thing i did....was pitch all of those, and refuse to ever buy them again. Those things are laced with the devil i tell you.

 

hell yeah they are. airbrush out the cellulite, stretchmarks and pimples and we'd all look awesome. though i quit looking at them when my husband expressed to me his deep disdain for the women therein. i started watching to see whom he was watching, which girls he'd flirt with, which pretty lady brought a twinkle to his eye. honestly, it was always the juicy, voluptuous ones. so i quit worrying. maybe not all men will find me attractive, but the one who matters does.

 

That's the biggest thing people need to realize. I know guys who like the Kate Moss body, I know guys who wouldn't date a skinny woman like that for fear of breaking her. I know guys who like the volumptuous rounder woman, I know guys who would call those women fat & not be interested. I know guys who like big boobs & don't care about the tummy or ass or thighs. I know guys who don't care how big the boobs OR the tummy are, as long as everything is overall proportional.

No matter who you are or what you look like, you will not be attractive to everyone. Maybe I'm just projecting my old issues onto this topic -- my body issues were a manifestation of my desire to have guys like me. I've found, however, that the only ones who expect you to look like you just stepped out of Cosmo are the ones that you don't really want after all. Those that are worth having want a REAL woman, flaws & all.

 

I second that

 

I know this.

But I still don't want to listen to what I know.

I want to be skinny, even though I hate everything that says about my mentality and my state of being. I've been putting myself through hell for it for over a year, and before that slowly deteriorating in the way I saw myself.

But no matter how many epiphanys I have where I decide, I'm beautiful, the world is bigger than what I think of my waist line and how I look in pictures, my body is only a vessel, it is only stardust to hold my true self and it needs to be nourished...no matter how many times I say I want to be normal again, I can't.

Because I'm not anymore. It's one thing to look at yourself in the mirror and think, I'm fat and ugly, then put on your clothes and go about your day, being told that you're not the way you saw that morning.

But what about those of us who really are, and are confronted with it in every reflection and meeting.

I know the epiphanys are the truth. That it doesn't matter. And I want to believe them and live anyway the way I am, more than anything. But more times than more than anything can catch up to, I'm struck by endless reminders of the other side...and it always wins, even when you know better.

 

what's you've just described is a mental habit that IS breakable. whenver you hear negative thoughts about yourself starting to go through your head, start singing a song, a happy one. one you know very well. for a while, stop yourself from thinking about your appearance in the mirror. then, look at yourself and start talking to yourself in a positive way, rather like stuart smalley, but be serious about it. just say to yourself, even if you don't believe it at first "i look fucking GOOD."

we've got such a mess thrust on us about modesty being so important to being a good person. it's not true, not if you're being dishonest about it. if you look at yourself and say to yourself "i'm hideous, i'm fat, i'm ugly and no one will ever want me" what you're really doing is wallowing in your self-hate and feeling good about it in a really fucked up way. we'll clutch that to us, we'll revel in our own supposed self-awareness. but it's not true.

 

i agree with that. sometimes the state of mind is the thing that is our downfall.

some days i can look in the mirror and think hey ok i look kinda good...other days i look at myself and just think eww.....whats wrong with me.

maybe getting those negative thoughts out of my head first is the best way to go and all the rest might just fall into place.........maybe.






someone mentioned a documentry on a women who tried to gain weight and it being odd....i was exceedingly underweight when i was around twelve...i looked anorexic...i wasn't at all i didn't hate the way i looked then or want to be skinny i just never ate so i started trying to gain weight and put a bit of meat on. im about 9 or 10 stone now and im happy at that...my tummy is a bit pudgy but i can't win em all i suppose.


but i must say....posing naked for your artist friend was one of the bravest things ive heard anyone do....i couldn't do that ever....i find it hard being naked around my partner...even when im in the dark. i don't think i could ever have anyone sketch me. wow.

 

That would be me... It wasn't the idea of gaining weight that I found odd, it was her goal of being between 500-600 pounds that I found odd (it was just one woman featured, not "women"). I've personally gone through a period of trying to gain weight, to get up to a healthy weight. I'm at 150 lbs. now (at 5'7" tall) & am far happier with my appearance. I can't imagine getting to 500 lbs. without it being caused by some medical condition -- I'm not talking about vanity here, that is a serious health risk. But this woman thinks she will be sexier at that weight & feels sexier with every inch she adds to her waistline...

So, what exactly does a stone equate to in pounds? I've never heard that one before...