I started cutting again...

Hey Dreamer... talk to me sometime (PM and I'll give you my AIM or MAN) I never could get myself to cut (for me the emotional pain was better than physical... plus knowing my luck when it comes to sharp things I'd end up slicing an atery on accident) but i know the main just of what you're going through. And if you want someone to share your pain with who won't be judging you for what you've done, just contact me.

 

Jennifer 19,

Good answer..you are 100% right..
Water Dreamer is in a mental state in such a way..
that we have to take responsability here..
anyone on this forum should try to give Water dreamer
the little kick she needs to feel better
I can well imagine what she's going through..
Water Dreamer,come on..sheer up...
We are all 100% here to help you..
start smiling to the world..I beg you for it..
maybe this link will make you smile..
P.S..I have nothing against Italians...
Let me know what you think of this link..O.K??
and now...all a smile on your faces
http://www.huaren.com/fun/english.htm

 

Other people aren't causing your problems. It is not other peoples job to care about you. Some people do natrually though. I'll teach you to develop self worth.

How can you say we dont care? That is very selfish of you. My heart was racing when I read this. You dont believe that we dont care either, otherwise you wouldnt have posted.

 

I apologize if the previous post offended anybody. My words are the harsh truth. I was quite offended by h?? statement that nobody cares. How is it possible for h?? to know what other people are thinking but not for us to know what she is?

The fact is we have a limited ability to see into somebodies mind.

 

ahaha..you crack me up. i'm not responding to anymore of this, i posted this because its a confession..if you don't like that whatever.

p.s...ice cream is good.

 

Why? Tell me what is it you want to get out of it when you do it?

Is it the 'visual' aspect of it watching the skin tear and the blood leave you (along with your problems too, you hope...) or is it, like me (self harm too) the 'physical sensation' of the actual pain? The need to 'feel' something 'real'. The depression has made you so feel 'numb' you need to see if you actually can still 'feel'. etc, etc....

...if you do it for similer reasons to me try what I do, (I had to learn how to do it without actual 'injury' when I found out I was pregnant because I didn't want to harm my baby....) what I finally found DID / DOES work (it's not exactly the same but nothing else will be) fill a thin plastic freezer bag full of ice cubes straight from the deep freeze and FIRMLY KEEP the bag of ice held down at the very top of you leg, sound pretty lame and innocent but actually DOES preduce a strong pain. When it does start to get painful to the point you want to take it away, DON'T, Keep on holding it down for that much longer again, and then the same again a third time. The reason I say that is if you don't make the 'hurt' strong enough you'll just go back to cutting.

I find this does what I want to get from cutting or bitting without drawing blood and no real 'injury' either. Hope you might try it. I hope more than that, it might be enough that you, like me, can do this INSTEAD of cutting. I have not cut or bitten myself in about 18 months now since I started using ice cubes instead. Sounds lame and innocent but if done properly really can produce a strong pain but leaves no real 'injury'.

 

wow, i've never understood cutting. when im depressed i masterbate until it hurts. but cutting myself is beyond my imagination as a coping device. sorry to hear you are doing it again. have you tried running or something that exerts your body? you may not enjoy it but if you really like causing your body pain go and run a mile as fast as you can. lift weights. i dont know, its possible to hurt yourself for the better is what im saying. get a nipple clamp. say no to cutting.

 

laughter and happiness cures all.
well, most shit.

 

Hey Lisa,

Listen to what Stasia had to say..and try it out..
In your case..you feel in a vicious circle..because
of the relationship with your parents..you hang on
towards your mother..but finally she as well lets you
down..this brings you in a state of conflict with your
own self..stress,mental worries,tensions..
and the big question??why me?why me??
and then the only kick left for you is cutting yourself??
it's stronger then yourself...and nobody of us understands
it..people who have been there(like Stasia)they know...
So..Lisa..there are other values in life..then worrying about
your situation..like MUI says here...humor..laughter..
inner peace of mind is only available if you WORK yourself
on it..it doesn't come just like that..I hope you will let us
know what happens to you...and the day you will write here
on this forum that either Stasia,Mui or others who really feel
for you..have given you a POSITIV feeling...
well..that day has to come..we are sure of it..
YOU are NEVER alone here..just remember that..
you may always PM as well..
and now..come on,Water Dreamer..show us that you are a real
fighter..we all wish you a lot of strenght...and big SMILES...

 

I totally know what you are talking about... same story here... I never swim or wear short shirts or anything, that sucks...

 

i cut a long time ago and got a lot of help. i dont cut nor have urges to anymore.
i have a GREAT website that can help you understand SI and help you change you behavior. it worked great for me.

and to everyone else on the forum, i wouldnt even talk if you havent cut before, a lot. i know from experience how out of control someone can feel , how you KNOW its stupid, and wrong, and all that BS. but for some reason you just cant quit. PM me for more personal help

 

I used to cut alot for about 6 months during freshman year. I wrist banged (hit my wrists against hard objects until I couldn't feel my fingers) for more than a year during that time too. Really, cutting is a strange thing. The whole time I did it, it really made things worse and I KNEW it. People say that it takes the focus off the emotional pain and onto the physical pain, but not for me. No, it only added physical pain on top of the emotional. The whole time I did it I was discusted with myself too, which made it even worse.

Wrist banging is what has the most lasting effect on me now. 3 years later, I've only just gotten back my full range of motion on my wrists and the ability to close my fists tightly. I also still get intense pain in my wrists and hands.

I hate it when people who have never experienced it look down on those who cut. I mean, I thought it was stupid before I did it and stupid now, but I know that when you're in that mindset, you could care less how stupid it may be. Anyone who cuts, please try to another outlet. Throw your razors out, sit on your hands if you have to, just try to make yourself stop. Good luck to all of you cutters and recovering cutters.

 

I feel I have to say something here, just don't know what.
I didn't get the feelings of self-worthlessness till about 35, but when I did they hit hard. I know the relief of physical pain, it's like a painkiller for the emotional. I also know there aren't too many ways to get help.
Good news is for most of us it only lasts a couple years. Then your mind can grow to accept the pain and physical torture is no longer a mainstay. But it can keep hold of you if you let it.
In my view you do need to talk to someone. Or something. Believe it or not people do care about you and although you may not realize it, will miss you if you leave.
There are people here who can help. I'm not saying I'm one of them because I'm a little on the rim myself. But if there are people here who care about you, people who don't even know you, you have to admit someone around you cares just as much if not more.
What I see here is a cry for help. I've cried before, I'm crying right now. It's nothing to be ashamed of nor something you have to cover up. It's being human, and unfortunately that's what we are. Fortunately, that's what we have in common.

 

i've never done it, but i hope u stop one day. it would suck if u died from it. i know a couple people that have. feel free to pm me if u want cause i'm always havin destructive thoughts too.

 

http://crystal.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html

 

I haven't cut in a really long time, but I still get urges to do it. It sucks knowing that if I did, just a little bit, all the pain would go away.

 

aww, you are human! i thought you were a little too perfect for a while.

 

lol, yeah I have my fair share of craziness.