I wanna ask out this girl...

*melts* yeah, that'd be adorable for a first date
just go up and ask her, ask her if she'd like to go out for a picnic or coffee or something. Worst that could happen is that she says no. If that happens, well you just ask someone else out eventually. Being asked out is a huge ego boost and very flattering to most chicks, so even if she declines you'll have made her have a better day

 

And afordable

 

best advice ever.

 

You're such a ladies man

This thread makes me think about something though ....
And some things i hope i didn't screw up

 

Haha, no i'm not. I am just going with the flow.

Like what? Did you ask some girl to be your girlfriend?

 

See, I have actually considered that (I am that sort of a guy too). But although I REALLY wish I could, I don't know how to dance... This sucks big time, because I would LOVE to know how!

Would this not be a little to intimate or anything like that for a first date? As I said, I am COMPLETELY new to this who thing, so what is acceptible for a first date, and what is just creepy?

 

Okay, so chicks like being asked out, even if they have NO interest in the guy? I can understand that... Cool...

 

alot of the fears and insecurities you have, chicks have too
just ask her and everything'll be good
and as for dancing just go with it, most likely she hasn't taken ballroom dancing lessons or anything like that, and she won't really 'know' how to dance either
cheap dates are good too
again good luck, it'll all work out i'm sure

 

Whoa, thanks! That really helps! It is hard for me (as a guy) to think of this from a girls perspective, so I really appreciate all the responses everyone is giving.

 

Most chicks do at least
I mean, if she gets asked out left and right, on a daily basis, it's less of a big deal
but chances are she doesn't have that happen, most chicks don't deal with that on a regular basis

As for the dancing, just some slow dancing, yaknow hold each other close, slowly shift around, s'all good. Some spins

Didn't do any dancing in yer phys ed/gym class? We did lame ones, plus some jive.... Jive is great shit to dance to

 

Whoa there shipwreck! Do you always start off in fifth gear? You ask and answer your own questions, have placed this girl on a pedestal way above you, and are trying to map out a stategy for a closed-course run at this Princess. Put the bull back in the chute. Even Jeff Gordon started on a tricycle. If you're asking questions like this, get a few things straight in your mind before asking her out for a 'date'! First: no pre-concieved notions about success or failure with how you two may get along, be ready for and man enough to accept both possibilities. Second: Treat her as an equal, not above or below. Third: she's a person, not a conquest! You use the word 'date' like you're negotiating a contract. Boil it down to: I'm interested in getting to know this girl because she is special. Simple conversation with her will tell you if you are compatable enough to grow with. If you can't talk with her comfortably, nothing you do on a 'date' will make up for that. For some, a date is a sign of possession. You don't want to possess her. A girl who gives of herself freely (mind and spirit) is pure Nirvana. And lastly, the other person was right. She has fears and reservations, too. Anticipate her reactions and be surprised, too. Nothing is carved in stone about her, so be flexible, open minded and straight forward. So, talk to her about muffins, pumpkins, stained-glass windows, mohogany elbows and things in general, and if you guys share a grand piece of life together, then you were right...she's special! Good luck.

 

Okay, that really makes a lot of sense. I mean everyone wants to feel attractive and wanted right?

No, I didn't do ANY dancing in physed... Well, I think maybe we did a unit on it in like the 4th grade or something, but I can't remember anything about it except something about us doing a "dosie-do" and we had to learn the funky chicken, which I hated with a hate buried deep down into my heart...

Hmmm I suppose I will have to take a crash course in dancing...

I was homeschooled from the 7th to the 10th grade (at which point I got my GED) so maybe I missed the units on USEFUL dancing? Oh, and prom and school dances too. Man I missed a lot of stuff like that...

 

meh, we did shitty old lameass dances for the most part in phys ed, things that were supposed to be cultural but I seriously doubt are danced by the folks they're ascribed to anymore, aside from when they're forced to.
Ballroom dance is neat, but it's... hmm, the girl kinda needs to know how to do it too, at least the basic steps. I find jive is a lot easier to pick up, but maybe that's because it was the first structured dance I ever learned. Plus it's more fun, has more energy than the waltz etc.

Don't stress too much bout the dance thing, the picnic and some music brought along are cute enough, let it go from there. Just don't forget dessert! (something simple like fruit and a chocolate or vanilla dip that isn't too messy.... oh and napkins, do not forget the napkins)

 

Good advice! but what did I say to insenuate I am putting her on a pedistal? I mean, I really don't think of her as more than a friend right now, I am just sort of interested in her, and I think she is interested in me. I also don't have anything set in stone, nor do I plan to. However, it is often a good idea to have SOME planning before anything, even if you realize it could deviate from that GREATLY "People don't plan to fail, they fail to plan".

I also agree with you that dating isn't a sign of conquering someone, nor does it imply ownership. She is 100% equal to me, I am not above her, or any other person, man or woman, in any way.

We have had a lot of internet based conversation and such trying to get to know more about each other. So I do know quite a bit about her, and I think we could be compatible. It isn't like we are strangers, but we aren't exceedingly close either.

Thanks for the input!

 

I'll give you a heads up - asking a chick to go ballroom dancing is pretty creepy.

 

Here's a little story. When I moved out to a new community a while back, I noticed this girl who took my bus, I thought she was really pretty and looked cool so we talked for about a week every day on the bus. It was always really awkward small talk. So one day I asked her If she'd be interested in going to a movie with me, to which she accepted. The date was probably the most awkward date I've ever been on. So the point? yeah...really awkward.

Its been 2 years we've been together now, my first love and my first lover.

You always regret the choices you DON'T make.

 

Okay, sounds like awesome advice! I think that the dancing thing would have been a little overboard for me, anyway... Should there be something else along with the picnic? Should we see a movie first or something, because then it woulnd't be "dinner and a movie" cliche', but it would also offer something to talk about, if we ran out of things to say... (I hate awkward silence).

 

Whoa, thanks a lot! I actually forgot all about the "You always regret the choices you DON'T make" thing. I give this as advice to friends often but forgot all about it until recently!

I also enjoyed the story too. I love stories.

 

The pedestal thing comes from your being 'scared shitless' of confronting this girl with your feelings about her. She obviously holds some form of high ground on you because you can't seem to meet her on the even ground as 'an equal' which should make it pretty easy for you to ask her out then. Guys who are scared of someone (girl, bully, etc) do so because they consider themselves inferior, not worthy, out classed, etc. Whatever the reason, the result is the same: Frozen!! Part of the problem, as I see it, is the extensive internet communication thingie that you have going on here. Man, you can't beat good ol' face-to-face yakkin' to break the ice, really get to know someone! Phone is a not-bad second, but ditch the cyber babble and cosy up to her on the phone or over a belly washer at Chez Wendy's! Booze doesn't show the real you. Also, you're worrying about the victory lap when you haven't even decided what kind of a race you want to enter. I stress just talking with this girl FIRST, because a lot of your questions will be answered by you and her during your talks. And the FIRST conversation should be an honest approach by you to her that says "Let's meet". Simple, buddy, simple! I think you'll dig the response, unless you're a total Dweeb and she shanks your butt! Just kidding! I can connect with the dancing phobea. Same here! Abject fear caused by a very wrong feeling that everyone was watching me and judging my dancing as the worst in the world. Nope! Realizing that no one gave a rat's patooty about what I was doing, I relaxed and I am now the world's best dancer!! The worst dancer is guy in Cleveland named Bob. Ciao!

 

Well, actually I would be nervous no matter who it is, because I haven't ever asked a girl out. In fact I am not too nervous about this, and maybe "scared shitless" is a bit of an overstatement. I just have the butterflys in my stomach nervousness, which I am sure most people can identify with. The thought is scary, because for me it is completely uncharted territory. However, my conclusion is this: This is as good a time as any to give it a shot. Even if she says no or it doesn't work out, at least I will learn it probably isn't as big of a deal as I am thinking it is, and I can gain more experiance. I guess I am thinking it won't get any easier the older I get, and this seems the perfect sitution.

I agree with you about the internet, there is no substitute for face to face conversation. However, we only see each other for a short time once a week, at which time we do talk just for a little bit, but it doesn't usually last too long.

And I am sure I am worse than this Bob guy... Hahaha