i was drunk the day my mom got out of prison

He's smart if he hasn't been impeached yet.

 

Sorry, so sorry Gate-er-roo, but I'm turning you in to the CIA and the FBI and the BCMHC. (Don't ask what the last acronym stands for-- then I won;t have to kill you!)


And, just when I began to wish you could spend this lonely winter of the 6 cats with me tossing back cheap vodka while we huddled close to the woodstove awaiting my lost love, Dolores, to return from Texas.

Oh, well... for everything lost there is something gained, somewhere.

 

i am the CIA and believe it or not i recieved FBI clearance when i worked security for an international billionaire.Passed that but failed the piss test.stop by i'll light one up and my dog'll sniff the cat off of ya.