Im honestly.

I agree, but i might be a whiney ass, you're cranky asshole, so each their own.

 

Depression sucks. It chokes the shit out of any enjoyment there is to be had.

Do you take medication?

Therapy, reading, writing, forcing yourself to get up and move. Write a "to do" list and start doing it. Organize a drawer, closet, make your bed, clean your fridge.

Point is the mind needs something else to focus on....

 

Nah i've just fallen into the dark void, im not really making any choices, just letting my mind fall in on itself and see hope there is anyone around me that might reach out.

the only demon im facing at the moment... ahh... just trying to accept that the persians came close but didnt actually get to the statues of Hermes...

 

im not really a cranky asshole i just play one on the web...

 

Ahh, i can dig, this seems to be, at least for the last week, where i am putting my "whiney ass".

 

Xac, perhaps your depresion reaches deep...
But, I was feelin' a little miserable lately, that was till I did a mega work out yesterday; lifting weights, jogging - the whole nine yards...
I was accompanied by a couple of mates...who cheered me up too.
Today I feel fucking amazing - if a little achey.
Perhaps rigorous exercise might help.

 

have you ever been to an institution before?

 

Ahh, ive been doing a lot of push ups, at the very least it has been useful for my self esteem, i dont have any mates though...

 

No im sure it wouldnt be fun but i am getting to the point where i just feel like giviing up but i dont want to put my family through the trauma of comitting suicide, so its the last resort so to speak.

 

if you feel depressed, you turn away from it
and dont think about it anymore and fill your mind with something else..when the thoughts come back, you repeat.
eventually, just like any addiction, the frequency of them coming back will be less with farther times in between those thoughts.

 

Sounds like the plan that just wasted the last four years of my life, ive got some shit i need to face.

 

Change of scenery? New hobby? Some good suggestions already given... write, draw, paint, exercise, work out... maybe a little re-arrangement of your home? Take on some brain intensive tasks if your mind is too often idle or unchallenged. I've found that the brain will turn on itself if left unoccupied for too long.

 

Mmm, running around your head on your own is terrible and personally never got me anywhere...
Recent work commitments have left me a little isolated from my friends...
But, yesterday I made the effort and sort them out.
I do believe the isolation triggered me being a little miserable.
If you do not have friends, I'd really like to know why that is.
Did you push them away or were they not there in the first place?

What would that be?

 

what do they say?

an idle mind is the devils workshop

 

Nah, i think i am just fucked, it just me. As much as i make efforts to change my world it wont change me. Im dark and all kinds of fucked up deep down inside, hell im proud that my life hasnt fucked anyone elses up let alone worry about becoming anything great.

I know why people are giving me suggestions on what to do, i already know i just wanted to put it out to the world. The funny thing though is the more people suggest the simple basic, out ward stuff the more i understand that most people just dont get it.

 

I had a break down and have spent the last four years isolating myself because it was the only way i seemed to be able to cope, now i am all alone and very sad.

 

well I was sent away before, and institutions and whatnot don't really do anything for someone who is very depressed. it's just annoying and makes you homesick and you're around people who suck more than you do

I'd say figure out what you like and spend as much time as you can doing it. take up photography or playing the guitar or something else that can consume most of your attention, so your depression won't

 

Very difficult stuff, i cant be fucked going over but lets just say extreme trauma at a very young age as well as some other family shit.

 

Personally I don't think you have given enough to get...
I have no idea what is going on in your head...
If we did perhaps the suggestions would be more relevant to you.
We may just get it.

 

Nah i doubt it, the only people that come close to understanding me have been absolute fucking psycho's.