Im honestly.

Well- if people just don't understand it, and clearly I'm counted in that number, you may be better served looking elsewhere for support. Perhaps you can find someone who is a tad more knowledgeable about what you're going through. Being supportive here can have some value but ultimately that value is severely limited.

 

I hope it aint sexual...

Trust me I've I had trauma in my life.
But I gave a little bit of that trauma to people I know...via talking it over with them...not everything...just peices...a problem shared (and all that shit).
I still have periods where I think the world will end...
But that little act I did yesterday certainly made me realise home tiny my isssues were...and how much small actions help (well me anyway).
I'm sure there are people here who would listen, I would.

If you don't want to go over it here though, fair enough.

 

If i can find anyone that understands i would share. I am happy sharing here because it is nice to know people are at least wishing me well. Just dont take it personal Stinkfoot, unless you were raped before you were even 5, then count yourself lucky you dont understand.

 

Get a pet?

 

Damn...

Two things- release the pent up rage- at a gym or whatever. I've found that splitting firewood to be particularly cathartic. You can box or whatever works best.

forgive the fuck who did it to you for your own sake... the pent up emotions are clearly doing you no good.

 

Yeah most of it is, the Hermes statues is really relevent but i doubt anyone will get that reference.

 

I have a pet, i love him very dearly but i am saddened that he will die within a few years from now.

 

you have to let go sooner or later. you cant go back and change the past ..

the quicker you let go the quicker you will heal..:cheers2:

 

I guess, my question or thought is..

why do you need someone to understand?

not many people could understand that, cause they have never been through it. So, you are setting yourself up for failure trying to find someone that understands. It really is time to stand up, go outside and meet people and have fun

cause you are missing out, the world and the people in it are amazing

 

bingo.

 

You are right, i dont need anyone to understand. Apparantly it wont kill me, but if you guys understood you'd have some idea of how hard it is to "go outside and meet people" and might stop suggesting it...

 

Sorry to hear that.

I did once read about a woman who was raped by her father, from an early age and repeatedly untill her early adulthood...
He abused that woman morning noon and night...

She did manage to get over it or atleast lead a relatively normal life.

What she said was, she forgave him.

I'd love to remember who she was because her story was amazing...

Ever talked this shit over with anybody?

What triggered your current depression..(as I can't believe you have been continually depressed for 17 years).

 

It's much harder to let go of the mistrust then it is to let go of the hatred. It is far easier said then done. Truth is i dont forgive, i am fucked up as i said all kinds of fucked up, yet i havent raped anyone, i haven't murdered or assualted anyone, why should i forgive him?

 

DonaSoledad, I'll pop round to your house with some brute who will then rape you...
Then tell you to go outside and have some fun...

Ofcourse, I won't, but jesus christ how insensitive are you!

 

Well perhaps this bears repeating...

 

I wasnt raped by anyone in my family, the hermes reference is from when i was 6, i had to spend half an hour (or maybe 15 - 20 minutes) defending my penis from a psychotic 16 year old who was trying to cut it off (with scissors). The persians cut the penis of Hermes statues...

Yeah i've talked it over with tons of people and its always "oh shit" it doesnt make me any less fucked up, any more happy, or any more able to deal with what i like to call the dark void.

 

Dude, shut up..your an idiot

 

He's our idiot, honestly Odon has contributed a lot to this site and seems from all accounts a stand up guy, why dont you take your 101 posts and fuck off?

 

you holding on to it has its own motives. its possible to move on without forgiveness,or forgetting it. you will never forget it but you have to accept it happened,understand it wasnt your fault,know your the only one who knows and even if everyone knew,no one is judging you for something that you had no control over..
as far as the trust issue,once again somewhere their is your own motives behind this.. your not supposed to trust everyone,if you do your a fool..

i LIVE by a saying, "love all,trust no one".. it works..

 

Sorry, I did not mean to repeat it...I was typing when your post was posted.