Im honestly.

it is hard to have empathy cause I have no clue what something like that would feel like. To me, turning away from something that is uncomfortable is my way. I either smoke weed or go on a hike. It at least gives me comfort/happiness for the time being and not dwell on things. For me, I do not know what works for you, but you better figure it out cause time is passing you by.

 

whatever. Have a great day

 

Did you miss the bit about what happened to Xac...?
If you did...then I'll apologise.
If you did not miss it...I'll stand by what I said.
Telling him to go have some fun after hearing that is insensitive..

 

Well the psycho may have been unsuccessful with the scissors but he was successful scarring you mentally. You need to figure out how to stop that from repeatedly happening because he's no longer there to re-injure you. What's happening now boils down to what you're impulsively doing to yourself. I know that sounds cold and I have no illusions that I'd be any better if I had experienced your hell... the asshole who tried to attack you is no longer there so instead of taking it out on him you're taking it out on yourself over and over. Stop it.

 

I dont think anyone is judging me, fuck is some one did they'd sooner be judged by everyone else then i would. No its not that i am afraid of people judging me, im a friendly little monster. Just when you are traumatized at that age it changes you that cannot be undone nor cannot it be readily understood.

I am very accepting of my shadow but i wouldnt want to get into what is in it because of that, i may fear judgement.

 

bullshit.. hes 22 what happened is in the past,go have fun is what he should be doing..

 

You're very intelligent, you are also an asshole.

 

it has been 17 years..his whole life has been consumed by this..wouldn't it be time to go and have some fun.

 

For fucks sake, you cannot force yourself to have fun.

 

yes it changes you,but now you are who you are and you need to accept that and be happy with it.. thats all im saying..

more people understand than you could possibly imagine,they have just accepted and moved on..thats the one thing i think your missing in the picture.. as long as you think no one or few could understand you are keeping yourself behind walls that need not be there..

 

He wasnt an asshole (not the kid with the scissors) he was/is genuinly psychotic. Ahh im not really looking for advice, im just trying to explain why it doesn't seem to work the way you guys think.

I dont know what you expect me to say "oh shit, i didnt realize, im going to go out and have fun and feel good!" im not stupid, i do get it, it just doesnt seem to work that way.

I think if you are interested in understanding you need to know, i have gone out and lived life, i have fucked, partied, made friends, broken shit, been beaten up and droped acid. But i still always end up feeling alone.

 

this is true however one can find joy no matter how depressed they are if they choose to..

 

Sais you...

 

I guess but it's a long quest to get where it doesn't feel forced and temporary.

 

I take it you've battled with depression to?

 

I did ask what triggered his recent depression as I don't believe he has been continually depressed for 17 years.
Obviously something triggered his current mindset or a rekindling of previous trauma or he is reflecting on his past right now and it depressed him.
If the trauma was never resolved then Xac could be 102 and if I was told that was what was causing depression...
I'd still have sympathy and restrain myself from being a tad flippant.

I guess you have never had real trauma in your life.
If you have why not be a little more sensitive to it...
I can appreciate advice like that (from you) before I knew about Xac, but after!
Well, we all think differently I guess.

 

nobody said life was easy or simple..i know what it is to overcome demons,my partner has overcome more than even xac could imagine.. it is possible and it begins within..

 

every human on earth has battled depression at one time or the other my friend..

 

this is my last post in this thread
my end point is this
Tomorrow is not a good day to do anything

 

Oh yeah? you could be right but i am confused why you assume that it would be more then i could understand...