ima fucking loser

Duck, did your dad succeed in killing himself?
I agree with you about suicide being the pussy way out.

 

Wait! How absolutely rude. Let someone else have the smack and use a shotgun.

 

I think you mean 'ISN'T a joking matter'?

Suicide in general is something that I accept.. I'm very into asian cultures where it is often seen as a acceptable way to safe the honor of your family (like in war, generals aren't killed but given the option of suicide). Also, when someone is chronically ill or has tried everything but still doesn't want to live, I wouldn't stop them. But, most of the suicides are from people that are just plain alone or depressed.. something which can be overcome with love, kindness and maybe treatment.

It's a long and complicated story but this is it in a nutshell..

 

whoops, I was kinda high-ish

I feel basically the same way but I think it is stupid to go suicidal for honor ('cept in war). I am going to do you a favor and erase my posts here, I understand that you wanna help crackforkids change his mind so if you wanna continue this conversation PM me about it

 

Ahw, that's sweet but honestly I think (and hope) that I know crackfordkids well enough that he's joking about this.. he'll probably read this thread tomorrow in school so he can help us out with the mystery

My guess is that he's way more horny than suicidal at the moment......

 

you're welcome

 

ok, so i overdosed on heroin that night, had to go to the ER. i dont remember much, i nodded out and woke up with mass IV's in me. my sister found me and rushed me to childrens imediately. i was so pissed. im still not feeling any better... what a waste of dope, why cant people leave you alone, and let you die. there is nothing left for me.
and im amazed you all think I'm so simple i'd kill myself cause im "horny". i got a girl.... i felt bad cause i was hittin on other girls when i was still with her. i shouldnt fuck around like that. i hate myself and you are all fucking retarded if you think sex will help at all. i didnt wanna tell you velvet, i guess i was hoping youd miss this thread... dammit.
so yeah, im a pussy, i tried to take the pussy way out. and someone had to help me......... i wish i wouldnt have ever woke up.....

 

..... damn.. you've got me crying now, you know that?... don't know what to say really.. it's just.. damn.. I care so much about you.. I don't want you too feel so bad.. but I really haven't got a clue what I can do to help... I really don't.. damnit..

I still have your phonenumber.. are you home tonight? Can I call?

 

no, i work all night tonight. :-(

 

Let me know when you're at home and if you want a call ok?

I just don't get it.. your family knows your situation right? Why don't they help you more/better? You're struggling and it's like noone in your surroundings even notices it. This has little to do with your meds, your drugs, your diagnoses in my opinion.. if you could just find a place with loving people, a nice and steady place where people truly care about you, with friends that don't let you do drugs or even push you into doing that.. you've crossed the line between 'social drug use' and plain drug abuse.. I haven't seen you in such a bad state since I know you, I think.. please get help.. I don't know where, but I do know you won't find it with your current shrink or your current girlfriend, at least from what I know about them. Please sweets, take care of yourself.. and you are NOT a loser.. don't talk yourself down like that..

*big hug*

 

I really hope your ok. You are so young; you have your whole life ahead of you. I really hope you stay around. Who cares if you were hitting on other girls, it’s not like you hade sex with them, it’s ok to get horny every now and then and flirt with other girls. There are worse things that could have happened Just my opinion though .

 

ill be home at 330 and i dont work... on wed. find out what time that is in holland and hit me up if you so desire.

 

ok.. if I'm correct that should be around 21:30 at my place (09:30 pm).. I'll give you a call between 3:30 and 4:00 at your place ok? You'd better be home 'cause I'm frickin' nervous and I don't want anyone else picking up the phone!

 

might be 22:30 where you're at, velvet.

 

Why you think that? According to www.worldtimeserver.com it's 21:30

In Ohio, United States

When it is
​

3:30 AM
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
( observing Standard Time ) ​

​

in the Netherlands

It will be
​

9:30 AM
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
( observing Standard Time ) ​

 

ahh. I guess it's closer to the east coast than I was picturing in my head

 

... I hate this.. I suck at doing things like this.. hehehe.. it's horrible.. I'm way too nervous.. doesn't make any sense! Partly because the phone habits of Dutch people are a bit different I think.. here, when you answer a phone, you say always say (unless it's a cellphone so it's personal): "hello, this is 'name'".. so if you call, you know who's picking up the phone.. whereas most english talking folk I know, just answer the phone with 'helllo' or 'hi' or whatever..

ok.. rambling now..
Damnit..

My boyfriend is giving me a peptalk now.. hehe.. this is way silly.. I've got phone paranoia.. definately! I sound like a freak now don't I.. hehe..

ok that's it.. I'm gonna call.... 1..... 2.... 3...

 

Ok.. I'm just plain stupid.. wednesday.. that's not today now is it? lol

*sigh*

but he was home.. and had to leave for work.. hehe..

Ah well.. I'll go hide under a rock now..

 

do you need to practice calling us American peeps? Give me a call. I'll be here for the next half hour or so.

Couldn't be as bad as the first time I called you. Or was it? Either way, I feel better knowing that you understand what I went through.