In My Home

I don't think that all women who become porn stars are forced into it, but I also think it's a poor choice to make. It's degrading and she is contributing to the sexualization of the female body which benefits no one when it comes down to it.

 

Oh, no, I don't think you did at all. You stated that I think women are weak, but I made no such comment.

 

I don't think that it's fair that you react this way when it was you being so vague in the first place. I don't know anything about you, so don't blame me for asking a stupid question.

 

Why can't people just be, YOu do what you gotta do and I'll do what I gotta do to make things work. Why do we have to play gender rolles? I don't think we play gender rolled in my house on purpose. Its just that we fall into categories of things we can each contribute and things we are goot at based on how we were brought up or what we like to do and then we contribute and we create balanceWe both bring some things to the table. Both equally important to making it all work.

 

Yes, I am. He had his mother to take care of him then. lol

Peace.

 

Woohoo! Very well said! You have my applause!

Peace...

 

ha nice answer. Honestly , what would we (ahem men) do without you women.

 

C'mon, Jedi, she did not say "all men" she was talking about her ex, who appears to be a dysfunctional person. It was not a comment on ALL men!

 

I encourage you to read lawngirl's post on the different varieties of feminism. You are being rather biased & short-sighted in your view of feminism. A women's rights advocate, as you define one, ISa feminist. S/he is simply a different variety of feminist than the ones the right-wing media like to use as a stereotype of all feminists.

To say that all feminists would agree with the feminist on the story about Jena Jameson is like saying that, because a very small portion of Muslims become terrorists, all Muslims are terrorists. We all know that not all (not even most) Muslims are terrorists. So why must all feminists be man-hating women claiming that anything they don't like is a form of exploitation of women?

 

I definitely agree. I am not much of a cook, my boyfriend is good at it & enjoys cooking... Guess who cooks dinner most days? On the other hand, he hates the heat & humidity here in the summer, I don't mind it. Guess who mows the lawn? I hate when the temperature is below about 45-50 F. Guess who will be shoveling snow this winter?

It all works out to a balance. I don't honestly agree with Maggie Sugar about it being impossible to have a balanced "50-50 relationship" when kids come along -- he may not be the one carrying the baby, but he sure as hell will run to the store for whatever craving I'm having & cook most meals & do a fair share of the housework. I may not be bringing any money in for a while, but I will still be doing most of the housework & taking care of the baby, he will still come home & cook dinner most nights. It may not be a precise tit for tat kind of thing where you keep score, but it will still work out to be balanced overall.

 

It's her choice is my point.

 

You obviously didn't read my post all the way through. I didn't say ALL feminists would agree with the one in the story on Jena. I simply said that I was against that TYPE of feminist. And it was so much that she was against exploitation...it was that she insisted that Jena was forced into it after Jena said at least 10 times that she wasn't. To me that's a sign that that particular person may not be a feminist at all but may just be a hateful person or may even have a mental problem, since she kept ignoring the facts.

No one better ever call me a feminist, because I'm not one.

 

How many of you know alcoholics or drug addicts who deny 10 times or more that they aren't addicts and don't need help? How many of you know battered womyn who deny 10 times or more that "He isn't that bad, he said he won't do it again, he didn't really hurt me that bad."

People in horrible situations often DENY the reality of their situations. Many studies of pornography/sex industry workers show almost all were terribly sexually abused as children. They often deny they are being exploited because no one ever gave them the permission to feel worthy of anything more than exploitation.

Denial isn't just a river in Egypt.

 

So what if it's her choice; just because she has the right to make choices doesn't mean that she has the right to not concern herself with the negative consequences of her choices.

 

UGH this tired old debate about where a WomAn roll is in the home.
At one time a WomAn was looked up tp because she was the child barer and was the caretaker.

 

i think staying at home with your children is a wonderful thing to do - mom or dad, either - until they are in school.

after that, um, what's going on exactly?

my mom stayed out with both my brother and me until i (the younger) was in kindergarten, then she went back to work.

i do think that staying out after that and saying that cleaning up the house, helping the kids with homework, taking them to soccer practice, etc, is a valid fulltime job is an exageration of the workload and means that the person staying at home (even after the kids are in elementary school, hell even after they're in high school and college and married) is not utilizing his or her full potential. it is just not necessary.

after the kids are in school, what exactly is so demanding at home? i know my parents both worked full time since the day i started kindergarten (my dad since forever haha), and they still cooked dinner and cleaned the house and did the laundry and yardwork and took us to every after school activity we could have ever needed to go to.

(and we turned out great, imo - i'm graduating from college in may and going to law school and my brother has already graduated college and is graduating law school in may (he totally copied me, we really didn't set out to be a family of lawyers, honestly!! ) and already has a job set up.)

anyway that's just my questions about the whole stay-at-home-until-forever-mom phenomenon.

 

Um, do you have ANY idea how many days off, half days, vacations, teacher institute days, teacher meetings, and "come and get your sick kid" events happen in a normal school year? I found it harder to work with kids IN school, than with toddlers. There are months were the kids don't have a full week of school. THREE MONTHS off in the summer. Winter vacation. Spring break. Vladmir Polaski day (hey I live in Illinois.) ect. Some people can and DO realize their "full potential" in the home, and many people enjoy it.

 

well, if that's how you feel (i guess i really just don't agree - nothing wrong with that, just my opinion ), what about after the children are at an age where staying at home by themselves is ok? what about when they're in high school and can even drive? etc...

 

I have two teens who are 'old enough to stay home themselves" and they can and do. But, as I have seen in some of my peers, an empty home is an invitation to trouble. I found my teens need me at home as much as toddlers do. Just because a child can get to and back form school, and can make themselves lunch, doesn't mean that a mother in the home is worthless.

Is it "OK?" That depends on the individual family. If a mother feels she "has" to be away all day, then I guess she would consider it "OK." Even teens get sick, need their mothers and get excited when they walk in the door after school and warm cookies are just out of the oven.

I remember my mother being gone all day when I was a teen. I know the trouble I was capable of getting into, and how lonely and scared I was when I was alone and sick. I would prefer to be home for my kids. I leave for consultations, but those are a couple of hours at a time. Never am I gone all day long. I am almost always home when my teens come home. They are glad, too.

People have a right to their opinion, but most of the moms I know prefer to be there for their kids. Parenting doesn't end when a child learns to drive.

As for it not being "neccesary" I beleive in many situations that both parents, gone all day, just to make more money is often not "neccesary."

 

Wow Maggie Sugar, you are on a roll! I agree with you wholeheartedly!

Hugs...