Insult or compliment?

Songbreeze, I agree with your statement

'Although I've found women would much rather have their brains than their body complimented.'

But therein comes a problem....how many women make the display of their brains that they're capable of, as opposed to pretending to be dumb to pick up the drunk horny retards? So a lot of guys are intimidated by brains...that says the lady in question can do BETTER, but they lower their standards and play braindead so they can pick up 'mr right now' instead of 'mr right'.

It's just like a lot of guys...we have to play stupid so we're not expected to be miracle workers that can negotiate the minefield that is 'the feminine mystique' when the women in question can't even negotiate it themselves.

Gender relations are very very screwed up. I'd like to see a place where men and women can drop the pretenses, and just be themselves.

 

what a beeeotch

 

in either case, they're typically looking for a piece of ass, and if they don't get it, it's "nice guys finish last" and the modern equivalent of "men don't make passes at girls who wear glasses." so far as i've ever been able to tell, you only have to negotiate a minefield when you're where you shouldn't be, pretending to be what you aren't. it's very simple. quit faking and be mroe realistic. you can't turn a hooker into a housewife, and that goes for men and women.

 

Hey, easy there, huh? I don't hang at bars, I go for libraries and intellectual girls, so I think you've got a very narrow basis on which to base a comment of 'quit faking it'. As for where I 'should and shouldn't be'...where I should be are the places where the type of woman I'm interested in meeting would be. Yes?

Oddly enough, I'm the one guy in a thousand that doesn't shake in his shoes at the word 'commitment' (see, I even typed it without freaking out), but men, as well as women, are held to expectations of how they're 'supposed' to be. Like guys - we're all misogynistic retards that swig beer, hump anything we see, et al.
Women- oh man, don't get me started.

My minefield comment came not based on the environment (a reader in a bar's going to have a worse time, yeah) but from the layers and layers of bs that people put up in the name of pretense and social expectation, to 'fit in' enough to not be chased out or used.

A little clarification there, on a few points that might not have been so clear.

So now, what offended you about my posting?

 

i always talk like that. people get ideas. i'm actually a kitten....who was agreeing with you in my roundabout way.

it was a general statement. i keep having to listen to my friends, male and female, talk about how hard the whole mess is, when i keep seeing them tarting up and pretending to be someone else. i get sick of it. if you keep pretending to be someone else, you're going to end up with people who think you're someone else and then it all falls apart when they realize who you really are. and when you're not being you, you end up in this whole freaky territory with people you're not supposed to be with and having to tiptoe around and scan for danger. how's THAT fun? how's THAT a relationship?

one of the things i like best about the whole hippie thing is that it's a lot more reliable than finding people being themselves. no, i'm not a hippie, never have been, but i like people to be who they are. having to figure out who they are through the pretend layers is tiresome and a waste of time for me. i don't pity men trying to date women who are trying to be That HOT Chick. or women who are trying to find that guy. it's stupid and waste of life. but for some reason, both sexes are lying to themselves again and again. i don't get it.

 

gotcha...In that case, I do apologize for taking offense at my perception of your tone.

And yes, stated that way, I absolutely agree with you.

that's why my wish for a place where people could just 'be themselves' lol.

 

Bingo!

I feel that people do this because they are not comfortable enough to be themselves, whether it's because they have a self-esteem issue or they truly think they will attract someone if they "pretend" to be something they are not. Personally, it's beyond stupid to put a facade on at any time. People can do what they want and wear their masks but I just don't understand why people can't just be themselves and drop all these charades and games. I know this probably isn't directly related to your comments that you made, I just am going off on a tangent I guess, sorry...

 

you could always start the revolution at home.

 

I could, but my face isn't awesome enough to go on a t-shirt sold in a store owned by The Gap, lol!

Interesting thought, though.

 

The only advantage of dating a woman like that is that you would have few or no rivals.

In Proverbs 21:19 it is written, "[It is] better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman."

 

amen to that.

 

People pretend to be somebody else most likely because they dont have much inside or at least they dont perceive they have much inside. You have to go out and build something up for yourself before you have anything to offer somebody else.

 

I'd take it as a compliment... I mean I'd rather have the hour glass then really thin with no figure at all... In my opinion, for me.
I don't think you did anything wrong.
But again, that's me. Every woman is different, some take that as a compliment and some will slap you in the face for it.
You didn't deserve the slap in the face, unless of course you sounded rude and you sounded like you had some sort of a rapest whit, or you said it in a joking way. Then, if that was the case, I'd slap you too. But if you meant it as an actual compliment, then I'd be happy.