Is Romance Dead?

no way I've dated some insanley romantic guys, definitley not dead.

 

romance?

doing something you wouldn't normally do (ie conscious thought behind your conscious action) to show you care for your partner. As little as calling them up when you know they're having a bad day, or leaving a little note in their mailbox, or a little song on their voicemail. Yeah, some of the grandiose expressions are great (hey, i wouldn't mind if someone bought me a tropical island as a romantic gesture, but it's not the beallendall of romance)

and yeah, there can be accidental romantic gestures too, they're just pretty freakin rare.

 

See, now we're back to my "things guys do to get laid" definition.

 

did i say guys had to be the ones doing it? No, I did romantic things for my first boyfriend too. It's about showing that you care for your partner, doesn't matter what genders are doing and which are receiving

 

no but i think its the idea behind what guys consciously want.. which seems to be sex for the most part

 

correct me if im wrong but i gathered by what you are saying that the point of these acts is not to get laid (per se) but just to let your partner know you care?

 

But then you could just say "I care about you". No grand gesture required.

 

but isnt that what ihmurria was saying? that romance doesnt have to be grand gestures? i mean if you disagree sure, im interested to know what everyone thinks.

 

well i know thats what i was saying...
not grand.. just deep

 

My point is that 9 times out of 10, if a guy is intentionally being romantic, he is, in some level, hoping to get some out of it. Heck, I personally can't do a load of dishes without thinking, "maybe my wife will notice that I did the dishes and thank me by jumping my bones".

Arguably, the reason I am so hot for my wife is because i love her deeply, but that doesn't change the fact that when I'm intentionally romantic, I have certain motivations.

As luck would have it, the woman is also sometimes thinking "he really loves me, maybe I'll reward him with affection"

update: That's why I like Drawrings version. When the things that she was mentioning happen, they happen out of love. That deep look into her eyes, etc... Those are not done because of an ulterior motive. They are done because of love. Much more romantic IMHO.

 

it's more about doing something out of the ordinary. I mean, if you love someone, you probably tell them that fairly often, right? But how often would you drive up to their house when they were away and drop a little poem into their mailbox?

It doesn't have to be big, it's more about going out of your way to show that you love them. I built my bf a fort, and he said it was the most romantic thing I coulda done for him (hey, we were 17 and 16 ok). He was willing to give a me a ride places when he didn't have to, when he had to ask his parents to borrow their car. I thought that was terribly romantic, that he would go out of his way to make sure I get home safe, and got to spend time with him as well.

 

my sentiments exactly, boosh.

but then, i'm horribly unromantic. it kinda presents a quandary for dave's "man training." i hate obvious romantic gestures, they kinda embarass me and make my contrary soul want to get into a fight. whereas if he makes me laugh really hard and swats my ass as i walk by, i'm ready for lovin.

 

Perhaps, but does that mean you are doing the dishes because you love your wife (but wouldnt mind getting laid) or because you want get laid (but love your wife)?

Good night!

 

I've never thought that

If I'm really into someone, they'll get my affection. Being a jerk won't make me into them though, or being callous

 

It's because I want to get laid primarily. Let's be honest. If I was single, and my hot neighbor told me that if I did her dishes, I would get laid, well, I'd be a dish washing man.

 

romance is contrived.

 

Dammit I want you

 

it's so simple really

 

i have just met a man recently that is the apidamy of romance.. and some day i bet he will make some very lucky girl the happiest women ever
he is sweet and kind and playful and funny and he smells good.. and.. and ...
and well he pays attention.. he isn't my boyfriend nor my husband but in the last couple of weeks he has made me feel more important then my husband has in five years

and its all in his eyes.. the way he looks at me like hes trying to understand and hes truly interested.... and even tho he hasn't bought me flowers he has gotten me a glass of water when i was coughing
he makes me feel special and i think to be romantic that's all it takes
feeling a certain way and letting your special person see it is pretty damn romantic
as for how.. shoot that's what imaginations are for
we are all different and so our wants are likewise unique but the basic feeling of passion and love that come from romance can be achieved in so many ways

 

That makes sense. Fortunatley, in most cases, the guy isn't trying to be a jerk, he's just a clueless idiot.