Is suicide always evil and a sentence to hell?

Yeah I noticed that too. That really is the original one though. It's the version that's on the Ready To Die album.

 

No suicide isn't always evil. And the hell you are referring to does not exist.

That being said, no matter what the situation, suicide is almost never the answer.

 

An aquaintance of mine took his like a few weeks ago-was he evil? Was he wrong? I know it wasn't right-but what he did definitly wasn't wrong.

"It's with great sadness that I have to share the passing of Bill Zeller, known as null terminated around here.

He leaves behind a ton of pretty amazing computer science work. He wrote an original hack for iTunes (MyTunes) that let you share your library of music with anyone and I used it myself in cafes and college campuses to get new music (when I'd open my laptop at a college, 5-10 people would connect to my iTunes library and download songs using this). He wrote the SQL web front-end to the MetaFilter infodump (among many other projects) and he wrote papers in the CS dept at Princeton on security, including one where he exploited the sites of NYT, ING, YouTube, and MetaFilter (we fixed soon after he notified us of it). He was also wickedly funny on twitter.

He was a nice kid who used to IM with me often, sharing links and asking if they were ok for MetaFilter. Over the years we'd chat about once a week for a few minutes. Sometimes I was busy and would try to brush him off. I remember one time he was asking about graduate schools and I was up to my neck in work and I thought as a way to blow him off, I'd mention the most prestigious possible CS program I could think of "You want to do computer security, why don't you try working with Ed Felten, the guy from the freedom-to-tinker blog?" I was impressed and a bit amazed when he IMed a couple months later saying he was accepted into the lab and moving to Princeton.

From what I can piece together, it seems he went online early Sunday morning, checked MeFi until about 4am EST, went to facebook an hour later and wiped out his entire profile, just leaving his suicide note (warning, it's intense and describes abuse but it is really well written). He then emailed a copy of the note to a large number of friends and acquaintances at 6:57am EST (that's when I got it and first found out what happened), then he began to hang himself.

From what I can gather, ten minutes later someone found him and he was rushed to the hospital but ten minutes is a long time to go without oxygen to the brain. He suffered damage and his brain was showing very little involuntary activity and no voluntary activity. He was induced into a coma to prevent swelling but eventually it was declared he'd be in a permanent vegetative state and tonight at 8pm his respirator was removed and he passed on.

I'm sorry Bill never got the help he needed, if I'd known what he had suffered through in his life I could have connected him with abuse survivors I know. He was a great contributor here, a fantastic CS student, and did good work. RIP Bill Zeller. You will be missed."

http://metatalk.metafilter.com/20205/RIP-Bill-Zeller


"Blogger Bill Zeller took his life last Sunday. In his suicide note he wrote that his "first memories as a child are of being raped, repeatedly" and that this "darkness, which is the only way I can describe it, has followed me like a fog". He continued:

The darkness is with me nearly every time I wake up. I feel like a grime is covering me. I feel like I'm trapped in a contanimated body that no amount of washing will clean. Whenever I think about what happened I feel manic and itchy and can't concentrate on anything else. It manifests itself in hours of eating or staying up for days at a time or sleeping for sixteen hours straight or week long programming binges or constantly going to the gym. I'm exhausted from feeling like this every hour of every day."

Read his note here. It's a hard read.

http://documents.from.bz/note.txt


​

 

its pretty easy to define sin outside of a religious context as an act which creates more suffering than it alleviates.

 

third definition from dictionary.com:

"any reprehensible or regrettable action, behavior, lapse, etc.; great fault or offense: It's a sin to waste time."

 

Ha ha. Good one.
I think suicide may sometimes have mitigating circumstances, such as a painful and terminal illness or mental instability. But, I do not know how God would judge that. Most suicides are absolutely a sin and irresponsible at that. The person contemplating suicide needs to consider the feelings of family and friends they leave behind, many of whom will be scarred for life and blame themselves. The scariest thing about suicide is that it is a form of murder and it is a sin for which you will not be able to ask for forgiveness because you are dead.

And, really people...how can any of you say for certain that God and the afterlife do not exist? Who do you think you are? I am not a religious fanatic or a cult member or anything...I am an educated individual who studied many belief systems and philosophies before settling on my personal beliefs...and I DO believe in God.:sunny:

 

1) What the hell is the "Lord" other than some lofty concept of a dude in white robes sitting on a golden throne, watching over us like fucking Santa Claus, up in the clouds, behind gates adorned with pearls...uh, yeah right. Superstitious nonsense. And that's only the Judea-Christian "Lord", that doesn't even fit in such figures and their corresponding legends as the gods worshiped by Hindus, Sikhs, Muslims, Zoroastrians, et. al. And even if it did, who the hell can prove or disprove the existence of a supreme being or a celestial kingdom of any kind? I say we bite it and rot until we're mere fertilizer for plants, and that really only in that way do we live on.

2) Why not pick the time, place, and method of your choosing to die? You had no say in how you came into this world, but you certainly have every right to leave it on your own terms; I plan to eventually kill myself because I have persistent pain issues that doctors refuse to address, as such, I am just getting tired (and like I posted last night, one day I will get really tired altogether and just jump off a bridge or some shit).

3) The notion that it's selfish is ridiculous. It is YOUR life to do with as you please, I suppose that's the Libertarian side of my political nature speaking (since the Socialist side is well, more sociable). But really, think of yourself and not others when it comes to what decisions you make, and if those decisions indeed do affect others in an immediate fashion, you probably should back off, but suicide, it is not one such decision that will affect others in any other way than emotionally (especially if you're a family guy and have a great life insurance policy...haha, fuck I'm so jaded!).

4) Kind of a random thing to bring up, but one of the tenets of The Church of the Inner Light whose sacrament is DPT, well, it is that suicide is an ultimate sin. I bring this up since I have extensively done DPT's more common cousin DMT and personally, I believe the "elves" or "entities" are just manifestations of the mind, and that it's utter bullshit that DMT or DPT tap into some holy place and as such I personally discredit that stupid church, the same goes for mescaline and harmaline, you're just straight trippin' boo, that's all. Attributing any mindfuck to "god" is just an imaginative excuse to trip out, a total farce in my book. So, my answer to another poster's thread about the "most spiritual synthetic" is that THERE ISN'T ONE! Spirituality and me, we don't mix. Science and I mix just fine, and science doesn't discount the possibility of a divine matrix, symmetry, etc. in our universe, a "godhead" if you will, nor does it discount life on other planets nor other dimensions; but it's all conjecture to think we are tapping into that via some revelation through a hit of fucking acid. Give it up and just enjoy your trips peeps.

That's my two cents...if you're done with life, make sure you go out with a bang but still try to leave a beautiful corpse if you can (I suppose there could even be some beauty to a shot through the head in a Jackson Pollock sort of way, heh).

 

I can really relate to this. I have a suicide note sort of in the works for whenever I get sick of it all. It is really fucking creepy how much the two of us have in common (childhood sexual abuse, childhood physical & emotional abuse, neglect, familial in-fighting & backstabbing...the list goes on and on and on, in addition to sharing in kind a rather high level of intelligence, intuition, etc.). I even relate almost word for word with this guy's suicide letter, I wake up in a panic and fall asleep with strange, idiosyncratic, kind of OCD-ish thoughts nightly, constantly have nightmares and wake up delirious, I'm agoraphobic, I'm bipolar, I've got PTSD, and that's the icing on my shitcake (not to mention my chronic pain the doc's refuse to treat now that is a result of a bad car accident in which the love of my life was killed while I had to live on in agony and pain following thereafter...this, obviously, exacerbated my PTSD). So what do I think? He could not handle another day, good for him, I champion his desire to end his suffering and no longer feel grimy when he awakens every day. Fuck that, no god would want his "flock" to live in utter pain. And any god that would can fuck the hell off and suck my dick. I'd rather burn in hell any day, if I believed there was one, than believe in fairy tales, or if they're actually true, I'd still rather burn in hell than blindly follow some merciless god. Jesus Christ is the modern equivalent of Ba'al the storm god of ancient Sumeria. Far too fucking vengeful, and also, too stupid to have not gotten the hell out of dodge before the Centurians crucified the fucker. I hope nobody's offended, and if so, sorry, but I don't care!!! These are my beliefs and I just want to say kudos to this guy for ending his own suffering. Again, my two cents. Believe what y'all will.

And I am dead fucking serious. In fact, the other day I was checking to make sure the gun I have access to was loaded, and, it gave me great comfort to see six shiny bullets, with at least one having my name written all over it for when I decide that "today is a good day to die". 'Tis a shame that poor Bill had to put up with bullshit New Jersey laws over gun control and end his life a more painful way, I know I want my death to be immediate. Something else that pops to mind after reading all of his note, the MetaFilter pages and pages of "oh my word...I will miss you though I never knew you really...", and his memorial where to this minute not ONE red cent has been contributed to his memorial, and that is that people really are motherfuckers in general, don't get it that some pains don't go away (and trust really is an issue no less), and that for some of us, suicide is a soothing thought because we know the pain we have caused and that we feel, and eventually, it just has to conclude. I mean, his bit about getting kicked out and the hate he felt towards his parents conflicting with his feelings of guilt that he'd be hurting them, and then to have a picture at his memorial site of him with his family (of course, not so much as a grimace let alone a smile) is really blasphemous. And it really is utter bullshit to read thousands of "oh my word..." notes from admitted utter strangers who say they miss him, since he nailed it in his suicide note that they'd only be feeling bad for a week or two. That hardly is a reason to go on for if you're carrying such a burden as he was. I really admire his candor in the telling of his life's story in that note, and his death has definitely had an impact on my own life, it somehow makes sense of the desire to end the pain, and fuck anyone who wants to tell me that I need help or to stop thinking this way or to just move on, because really, unless you're there, you can't really know. I'm there. I know. And you know what, I almost don't care anymore. That I do still care about anything or anyone is the only reason I've held on this long. In fact, I'd made a pledge a few years ago that after the remake of Battlestar Galactica came to its conclusion, I'd end myself then. Yeah, it's that pathetic, that I held out for a fucking TV show about space ships. Whoopy. Now, I've sort of made this pledge that it will be after I finally finish up my sleeve of tats I've been working on for the past several years. Who knows, maybe then it will be time, but I am going through with it. And yes, as I commented, trust is an issue, but since I am a virtual nobody, I am not concerned about who knows what, and I wouldn't go into details just in case someone in here actually knows the real me. But yes, there is a bullet with my name on it, and it does help me sleep at nights knowing that any day I may just up and end it all.