Jesus is Savior

So a minister is walking down the street when he runs into this drunk. The minister says to the drunk come back to my church and I will baptize you so you can be saved. So the drunk agrees. They go out back to this pond and the minister dunks the drunk and says have you found Jesus. The drunk looks at him and says no. So the minister does the same thing and asks have you found Jesus. The drunk answers no. So the minister dunks him again and says have you found Jesus. Finally the drunk looks at the minister and says are you sure he fell in here.

 

but wats stoppin ya from makin achange......u may think its not for u and its not ure callin!
but need is the calling!
does ure church NEED more young ppl,i think u wud benefit from more ppl around ure age too.....maybe u dnt feel the need to help ure church,but wat about sharin the gospel of jesus thats something every xtian is responsible for!

 

supersupersuper God rocks eternally he's a legend.

 

hell yeah!

jesus rawks my sawks

 

religious people are crazy, but thats okay im crazy too! ...just...not in a religious way.

 

ppl are crazy anyways!

tutututtu!!!
its got owt to do with ure beliefs,but rather ure personality

 

*Jesus Freak*

 

ima holy ghost houligan!

 

fuck jesus. if he was so perfect, why isn't he alive now? do you honestly think he's going to come back?

 

If you'd pick up the Bible, and read, you would know that Jesus died for our sins(even you). It was God's plan. It was not meant to be changed. And he is alive, he's in heaven. Just read. Yes he will be coming back.

 

He will come back, only to be beaten by frat boys, or arrested by the government.....

face it people, the bible is there to teach moral lessons, its not literal

 

That would be the acid.

 

*hides in corner*

 

The bartender was washing his glasses, and an elderly Irishman came in and with great difficulty, hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, asked for a sip of Irish whiskey.

The Irishman looked down the bar and said, "Is that Jesus down there?" The bartender nodded and the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey also.

The next patron was an ailing Italian with a hunched back and slowness of movement. He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a glass of Chianti. He also looked down the bar and asked if that was Jesus sitting down there. The bartender nodded and the Italian said to give Him a glass of Chianti, also.

The third patron, a redneck, swaggered in dragging his knuckles on the floor and hollered. "Barkeep, set me up a cold one. Hey, is that God's Boy down there?" The barkeep nodded, and the redneck told him to give Jesus a cold one too.

As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman and touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Irishman felt the strength come back to his leg, and he got up and danced a jig to the door.

Jesus touched the Italian and said, "For your kindness you are healed!" The Italian felt his back straighten and he raised his hands above his head and did a flip out the door.

Jesus walked toward the redneck, and the redneck jumped back and exclaimed, "Don't touch me, I'm drawing disability!"

 

the bible is a philosophy book , inspired by "god" if you want, but you must not attempt to objectify him,as he is all that is the one that knows every sparrow that falls, the ego is satan, but is part of the plan, without an ego there is no knowledge of good and evil because there is no dual thinking, subject-object ego to recognize itself as alive and apart from all that is. Now to know yourself truly is to know god, there were some lost gospels such aas the gospel of truth where jesus says these and that all can be him and that everyone is son of god but has not yet reached realization, he said everyone could do his deeds with "faith" now what exactly is that im not sure, but a lot of thing jesus said were left out of the bible because they did not go along with the main christian theology, and the disciples did not completely understand them.
Now jesus was born like any man, maybe even had wife, maybe kids, tried to tell the truth about reality which conflicted with the societal view, his mind over matter powers could result if he was infact aware he was part of god and able to tap into it. We are all the same part of god but its like Gods in Amnesia, which by the way is a good book to check out.