Ladies: How do you feel when men call you "honey"

They seem to lack compassion.

 

What is the definition of the word, 'compare?'

I get that when an old perverted fucktard calls you sweetie it would be uncomfortable. But you are saying that when I call a bartender honey girl that it is (at least to some) comparable to calling her a ******. If you told that to any black man I know they would most definitely call you something that would make you feel uncomfortable.

 

No. What I said is that we don't get to decide what level of discomfort another should have tolerate from us.

 

That is such a horseshit comparison, I also experience women saying these types of things listed to me causally in the op and other males close to me far more than I do the reverse.

I don't want any rebuttal either, it will cause me discomfort and cause unwanted feelings.

 

i call everyone "mate", regardless of gender or species, not really a principled thing, tbh, just a habit. using terms of endearment, especially on strangers, feels kind of off to me.

 

Think about this for a few minutes.

Who are we to attempt to gauge and quantify another's discomfort at being called a name that they feel is degrading?

Why should the attempt to oppress a dark skinned person carry any more weight than the attempt to oppress a woman (or a man; or a person of mixed gender)?

 

There is no soul.

 

No argument there.

 

What is the root of the discomfort given by terms of endearment? It's pretty clear what's behind the words people use to oppress dark skinned folks. Where does the word honey change from something sweet to something so terrible?

 

Where's the respect?

I thought I made myself crystal Fucking clear.

 

The reason these terms are awkward to me is that I take them serisouly and them to involve sincerity, and there's no way that is possible with a stranger.

 

This is completely understandable.

 

We all understand the vast difference between to two words. There's no argument there.

The difference between "Honey" being used toward a person you think is sweet, and "Honey" being used to speak to someone in a dismissive and demeaning way, is all in the intention.

Like calgirl said above, if you are acquainted with someone well enough to know that they are a sweet person, then calling them "Honey" may be accepted as a warm compliment.

On the other hand, if you walk in a convenience store and say to the woman working behind the counter (who you've never met) that you'd like "a pack of Marlboro's, Honey", then some would see that as a form of disrespect.

It's kind of like this: It's perfectly acceptable for you to call the woman in your life "Honey", but you don't want the guy she just walked past on the street to say "You're looking good today, Honey!"

Yeah, it's all messed up and people can be too touchy with people who are well meaning, but knowing all that, why risk any misunderstanding?

Just don't call strangers by endearing, pet, familiar names.

 

Like my parents said: "It's not good manners."

Impertinent
adjective

Rude and disrespectful. Exceeding the limits of propriety or good manners; improperly forward or bold:

assuming, assumptive, audacious, bold, boldfaced, brash, brazen, cheeky, contumelious, familiar, forward, impudent, insolent, malapert, nervy, overconfident, pert, presuming, presumptuous, pushy, sassy, saucy, smart. (Informal) brassy, flip, fresh, smart-alecky, snippety, snippy, uppish, uppity. (Slang) wise1. See attitude, courtesy

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/impertinent

http://thesaurus.yourdictionary.com/impertinent

 

I live in the South. So people calling me 'hun' or 'sweetheart' is a very positive term of endearment. A girl being called 'babygirl' is often a way of being claimed as an adoptive daughter. Around here only boyfriends can call their girl "Hun" "Darling" "Babe" "Precious"

 

Fair enough.

But there are plenty of women who enjoy being called these names. There is an increasing amount of women my age that are embracing the culture from the 50s. The Betty Page/Marilyn Monroe wannabes are all over the place, listening to Sinatra on their iPods. When I say to these woman something like, "Hey Doll, it's a beautiful day how about I join you for a walk." That puts a smile on her face.

Maybe the misunderstanding is due to the males simple mind. When I say the same phrase to different people, it means the same thing. We often can't/don't feel like telling the diferance between who thinks this way or that way so we just say what we feel. I don't think it's fair to assume that I have some ulterior motive behind something so simple.

That and all the assholes who make the rest of us look bad.

I guess all I'm asking is to give us a chance, and let us know that you don't like it, before you decide that we're trying to oppress you with pretty words

 

My dad does this to everyone. EVERYONE! It's really embarrassing.
Every waitress is baby.

 

You know, most people can tell your intention when you speak to them and they will return your kindness with a smile...so we're only really speaking about those of the oppressive, neanderthal mindset who are backward enough to mean something less than nice.

 

I like it when a woman calls me Hun or Babe because that way I know secretly they want to have my baby.

 

Calm down, Sugar.