Ladies-Question regarding blowjob protocal

I'm the same way, it's giving not receiving.
Kind of like Christmas.

 

If she made the offer, I see nothing wrong with taking her up on it. If it makes you feel better, and you like giving her head too, make her the same offer. Let her know that going down on her is something you really enjoy, and if she ever has the urge, she should ask.

It's also quite possible that she has desires of you on other levels, so just remain open to other areas you can please her. Pleasing one another is part of a relationship.

A lot of the 'too nice' syndrome is actually a case of 'not honest enough'. A guy who gives and gives and asks nothing in return is kind of a ticking time-bomb. Also very likely to be crazy needy in other ways. Not -asking- for stuff, but certainly expecting things he's unwilling/unable to ask for.

There's also the aspect of a person that is too easily pleased, expects very little, being kind of unflattering. Like, if a guy seems just happy with whatever, how am I special? Women, just like men, like to feel they are contributing to the relationship. I know a lot of guys might like to fantasize about having some gorgeous bimbo who will do whatever they like, but I think you'd get pretty bored with her pretty quick. If she just seemed pleased with everything you did, and willing to do whatever you asked, one starts to get the notion that it's not a real relationship. You're just a place-holder, a generic object of affection.

The 'too nice' myth really cannot die fast enough. It's a stupid way of trying to tell a guy he's just not interesting, without hurting his feelings. But it ends up just hurting everyone else the guy comes in contact with, and fucking up the whole sexual world. It's like breaking up with someone by saying "You're too good for me". Only with the added element of planting serious seeds of misogyny. Yay!

 

You should get consent.

 

Another bit here: In answer to other questions, yes, sometimes I just like to give and not receive. Giving head is fun.

I find it entertaining that society has this focus on a guy's 'performance', that being a skillful lover and very giving is a studly thing for a man to do, and a statement of his dominance. Yet when a woman is doing the giving, it's somehow not studly, or dominant, it's a submissive act of generosity.

Here'sa thing: giving head is an act of power. I mean, I have all your sensations in my control, right here in my mouth, right next to my oh so sharp teeth. I control your pacing, I control when you come. I move this way, I make you moan. I move that way, you shudder. You are vulnerable and open and in complete ecstasy and total surrender. What's not to like? Isn't that something that turns you on, when you have that control?

Plus, girls don't get blue balls. We can get turned on, enjoy that sensation, and choose to walk away. Orgasm is nice, but it seems to be less all-encompassingly essential.

But yeah, by all means, give her the same offer. Or, if she's the sort that prefers -not- to be in control of timing(this is a serious kink for many), then here's another thing: Randomly ask for head a few times. Then, out of the blue, let her know about another random urge. Instead of asking her for head, ask if you can go down on her. Not if she'd like you to, but if you can. Not if she'd like it as a gift, but if she'd be willing to let you do it. This let's her know you're not just giving her head as some sort of tit-for-tat but because doing so is something you actually desire and enjoy, for it's own sake. Like she does.

 

my wife and I give blow jobs away like candy.. the only rule I have is she needs to be happy .. if she wants one.. she gets two.. as a result we blow each other alot.. never expecting anything in return..

 

I believe porn can be thanked for idea of giving a blowjob as being a submissive act. That's the message it usually conveys, and that's really how I've always seen it.

I think women tend see it as dominant, while men see it as submissive.

 

Yeah, porn, and more general weird social gender crap. I know where it comes from, I just like to remind guys now and again where the power in that dynamic really lies.

I like giving head, I like giving pleasure, but I also like the fact that if he gets a little too pushy with it, I have his most vulnerable, sensitive bit right next to my teeth. :reddevil: :Angel_anim:

 

You are very very lucky guy to have a girlfriend like her.

 

Yes, yes I am.

Autumn-Thank you for taking the time to share you advice. I read it all, but as it is late, and I'm tired, I will reread tomorrow with a little better comprehension.

 

Actually I've been working really hard lately and my fiancee understands. Sometimes she does me and asks for nothing in return. I appreciate it. Then sometime down the line I'll do her and when she asks if I want anything I'll simply tell her no since she has gotten me off without reciprication. Honestly if you are in a truly happy stable relationship neither one of you will keep score. The problem with people who keep score is that they allways do it in their favor.

Peace Out,
Rev J

 

I think you are overthinking it. I don't need or always want my guy to return the "favor" when I suck him off. I love sucking him and making him feel good.

 

That's the story of my life. I overthink everything and then start second guessing myself...

 

Just relax and enjoy it. She wouldn't be doing it if she didn't like it.

 

Unfortunately my gf did something to her neck, and she can hardly move it side to side. This has been going on for about a week. I'm thinking this would probably not be the best time to just whip it out.

 

Oh, my, yes.

 

first off wandering turnup2 i love your green lantern ring of will power, ok now to the question, back when i was in jr high i had a jerk of a boyfriend who always made it clear that if i wanted to be his girl i would blow him when ever he wanted, and being stupid back then i did , in front of alot of his friends , while at the movies, in the back seat of his brothers car. jeez i was dumb back then

 

My rule of thumb: I go first, and when her juices and scents have completely overwhelmed me, her legs have crush my skull and I lie tired and panting on her stomach (or ass, if she wants it from vulva to labia to clit), if she whispers, "fuck, blowjob or handjob?' I make up my mind. But it is my sworn duty to get the first juices and sweat and breathe in that wonderful scent before anything else transpires. Of course (coarse?) I have never thought of a woman as a hired ("helps to be rich") sucker.

 

And vice versa,methinks.

 

Sounds like we went to the same school of How to Fuck...every now & then, I might have her get me off first, but usually I make her cum first...give her some inspiration before she blows me!