Let me ask this

You are not right though, I have given you several links to disprove your mumbo jumbo when you state that ED cannot be caused by performance anxiety.

Just because you have a dick doesn't mean you are right - that is why female specialists exist in this area - SCIENTIFIC FACTS ARE FACTS - no matter how much "zero personal experience" pertains. You are ignoring simple scientific facts, because you are taking it personally. Your post seems to suggest you are in denial.

 

That's all good. If it was the first time together and you were on a period, performance anxiety and your period sound like they have contributed.

Now he's over that, everything is back to normal, which is great because for many men who experience a flaccid penis for the first time, they then become anxious each time worrying about it, which exacerbates the problem for them. In some cases (especially in marriages) it then leads to less sex, less communication, more frustration and there have been cases of couples who separate. It is hard for some men to approach their Doctor, but this is key to solving the problem if the situation continues.

Communication is also key, as is an understanding partner. I have known women who get so frustrated and ridicule their man, which then means ED will continue if psychological.

The trick is to put your man at ease, tell him it is not an issue and do other things together. Then next time don't even mention it, just enjoy each other and give him confidence that he satisfies you regardless and eventually things return to normal in most psychological cases - if not, medication and counselling help to cure it.

A good rule of thumb is if it happens more than five times in a row, then see the Doctor. Once now and again is not a problem, nothing to worry about. Too much porn can cause ED also - again this is linked to the brain impulses.

Of course if it is organic, then a different approach is needed and it may continue depending on the nature of the medical problem. In extreme cases where all areas have been exhausted, Penile Prosthesis Surgery can have success.

 

Honestly, I see it happening with the older guys. They have less sex drive, less stamina, less erections. Yet, I still go for them over the 30 year olds. They might apologize to me, or feel embarrassed, but tell them I trust that "they'll work it out". Inevitably they always do.

 

It's common in older guys - as a guy ages testosterone and other important hormones decrease. Some older guys are still stallions though, but you would be surprised how many guys buy viagra and similar clones off the net discreetly.

Not a good idea to do without a Doctor's input. If they work it out in the end then you are a positive influence for them. Some women get down right nasty, and I think it is very wrong to ridicule any man who may experience erection issues.

 

Hell.....it makes me feel as bad as they probably feel. We both suffer. But a few of them have been open to ED meds, and/or have tried them prior to this experience. It's the reality of the human body, and patience and understanding from the human mind gets us through.

 

For a woman, the instant reaction is that she thinks it is her and blames herself. It doesn't matter how much she tries not to think that, the thought is there. It is this thought, together with the man's feeling of inadequacy that can spell danger for relationships - especially if the couple don't talk about it.

Some women retaliate by putting the man down negatively, to project the blame they feel back on the man, which solves nothing at all. There might be the odd time it is down to lack of sexual attraction, but for the most part, there is another cause.

 

I never said performance anxiety couldn’t cause someone to not be able to get it up. Sounds like you're the one who needs to go back and do some reading .

Having a dick doesn’t automatically make me right, but it does give me automatic credibility when it comes to the discussion of what it takes physically and mentally to produce and maintain an erection… something that you (as a woman) will NEVER have 1st hand experience of.

My problem with you is that you want to come on here and talk as if you're some fucking expert in this area, when you clearly have NO CLUE about the workings of the male anatomy other than what you've read or heard 2nd hand. I'd bet money you've never even studied urology! Yet you're egocentric enough to spurt out percentages and talk about how erections are "all mental", etc.

You don't see me (as a guy) going around telling girls how it feels (or how it's supposed to feel) when they orgasm do you? I could spout off a bunch of statistical bullshit about the female orgasm and act like I know it all too... but the reality is I'll never know exactly what it takes internally or what it feels like for a girl to orgasm because I'M NOT A GIRL!!!

So stop pretending like you have a dick when you don't!! You don't fucking know. You can quote all the statistics and reports from people who actually have dicks you want, but you'll still never know if it takes a little more mind, a little more physicality, or a little more of something else for a guy to achieve a raging hard on each and every time consistently.

 

It's great to see you finally giving advice on something you can actually talk about with some credibility.

And I'm glad to hear that you're so "accepting" of a guy who can't get it up. That's actually a noble trait to have and I respect that in you :2thumbsup:. But the "once now and again is not a problem, nothing to worry about" mindset is EXTREMELY accepting for something that is not normal. No offense, but to suggest that you wouldn't have an issue with a guy that was 50/50 on any given day being able to get it up, leads me to think you might be gay.

 

I don't want to derail this thread on this issue at this point, so I'll respond to you via DM.

 

Please don't, I have no interest in talking to you further in private or public.

 

Again, why the nastiness? This is uncalled for. Cut it out. Show some respect.

 

You are misunderstanding - erections START in the brain - scientific FACT - then other bodily factors come into play obviously. Because they START in the brain - if there are no brain signals to begin with, an erection is not going to happen. Get it yet?

A bit like a car needs an engine to run, the battery needs to be working to kick the engine in.... If there are no signals from the battery because it is dead, the engine isn't going to start is it? Same analogy.

As for your comment of me being 50/50 alright - again you misunderstand. I said a flaccid penis now and again is perfectly normal - not 50 percent of the time, please read.

Please read your first response to Calgirl asking if performance anxiety can cause ED.... In fact I will get it for you, you clearly stated no, and have since stated more than once that thoughts do not effect erection. You are very wrong.

I have no further interest in discussing this as you are wittering on about my lack of experience while conveniently ignoring scientific facts, because obviously you can't argue about scientific facts, but I will say it one more time -

SCIENTIFIC FACT: Erections start in the brain/mind - if something is wrong with the starter switch, (brain) then the rest isn't going to happen. Therefore the brain/mind is 100 percent responsible for your ability to reach an erection to begin with. So thoughts can and do impact erections.

Where there is no issue with the brain/mind and correct signals are sent from the brain to the penis, and the penis remains flaccid or a weak erection, then other organic causes of ED come into play. This is my final conversation with you on this matter as you are looking foolish.

 

Respect is a 2 way street. You have to give it to receive it. You may not like the "tone" of the debate taking place, but I don't see you asking her to tone things down either. So it's Ok for her to scream and shout, but not me?

I have not insulted her, nor disrespected her in any way thus far. I simply called her out for her ridiculous claims about something that she clearly is not an expert on.

 

If there’s no brain activity then your dead… duh. Of course everything the body does happens because of the brain . But don’t try and change up your stance now. You’re whole thing has been trying to insinuate how erections are “all mental.” It’s all about the brain… so don’t go backtracking now.

Now and again could mean 50%, it could mean 70%. You weren't specific, so one can only infer based on what you've been saying all along.

No, you’re misinterpreting what I said. I’ve been saying the same thing all along… that ED is a “condition”, not a one off random occurrence thing. I don’t consider performance anxiety to be full fledged ED. If a guy can get it up and fuck in private without any issues, but you pull him in front of an audience and he can’t get it up… I don’t consider that ED. You’re using the term ED (which denotes a condition) for any random occurrence of a guy not being able to get it up.

That’s your problem, you want to argue about scientific studies when that was never the crux of the matter here. The point is that no matter what your “studies” tell you, as a male (myself and others) can attest to being able to get it up without fail and without falling into one of your ridiculous statistical brackets. Studies aren’t the be all and end all of everything. For every study that says/proves 1 thing, you can usually find another that contradicts it. Seems like you of all people should know that, since you love to use studies so much in your arguments .

Post your scientific studies that show it’s perfectly normal for young healthy males to not be able to get an erection every now and again and I’ll give you a little more credibility.

Naturally, this is what people do when they fail to prove their point in a discussion. They try to make it look like they've made the other person look bad enough to convince themselves that they've "won." Perhaps you should study psychology so you could cover your tracks better and not be so obvious about the "I quit, but I'll make them believe that I really won" move.

 

Oh, you do a good enough job making yourself look bad and ignorant, you certainly don't need anybody's help.
You usually win the other guys argument for them.

 

Just want to pick up in this incase any man suffering with ED finds this thread. I never stated once that erections where all mental - anywhere.

I have stated that erections start in the brain, something that you keep ignoring - and lack of brain impulses through thoughts or otherwise can cause ED.

I have also stated, more than once, there are organic causes - just incase you don't understand the word organic, that means physical causes, such as (as I have previously mentioned) diabetes, vascular etc but as the original question related to a psychological cause, then that is what my response was based on, because you told calgirl it was not possible.

Obviously you seem to have an issue reading correctly. My issue is you keep stating that thoughts do not cause ED - and you are wrong but come out with a stupid immature comment like "if there is no brain activity you are dead" - so I hope your response clarifies to others your inept lack of basic understanding.

For the record, for me, it is not about winning anything, it is about people who view this thread getting accurate information. That is the ONLY reason I have kept responding, because your ignorant responses actually make a mockery of the condition - it has far more serious implications than you fail to grasp. It affects couples and families everywhere, and I say families because children suffer when parents separate or there are marital issues.

He has done just that, specifically with his last response.

 

Lol, You said...

100 percent mental. Who's looking like the idiot now??

But you don’t really know do you? As a woman, you don’t really know what it takes to maintain an erection once you have one. That’s my whole point.

You say you want to give accurate info, but you're not going to post that study showing it’s "perfectly normal" for young healthy males to not be able to get erections every now and again, are you? But we already knew that… didn’t we . Because that would clearly prove another one of my points, and you obviously care more about believing you're right than giving out accurate info.

 

What I stated is true, are you really that stupid? Firstly, another little science lesson for you, the brain is organic - an organ - got it? It has "mental" capacity within it, but is not 100 percent mental as you seem to believe. (At 25, I thought you would have known that....)

The "mind" is mental - hence why thoughts can stop erections and impact the brain signals. It doesn't matter what you try to do to keep an erection up, as soon as those brain signals are disturbed, the penis will go flaccid (hence why a man can have an erection right up to the point of penetration, then loose it due to anxiety about performing.)

As erections start in the brain, all the rest is mechanics, and if the impulses are not being sent from the brain correctly = no erection. Many things can interfere with these brain signals, such as anxiety, depression, vascular problems, diabetes, medication, smoking, cannabis, too much porn, and much more all of which are not all "mental" but affect the brain function.

Got it yet?

Yes, there is more to an erection than the brain which I stated, but the rest is only secondary mechanics, so.....if there is an issue with the brain/mind, the mechanics are not going to work are they?

So, yes, your erection is 100 percent dependant on your (organic) brain and mind (mental state) - the secondary mechanics cannot work without these being in order.

Seriously, you are acting out like a petulant child, your lack of basic understanding of simple science is what is causing your confusion.

 

It’s not what I believe, it’s what YOU said!! These are your own words… I’m not making this stuff up.

And I see you still haven't posted that study yet . For someone who's so quick to cite scientific studies/references, you certainly seem to not want to touch that issue.

You can talk all you want about brain signals, etc, etc. But the bottom line is none of that is either here nor there. In order for you to have ANY credibility what so ever, you need to address the two major points that completely contradict your whole argument/theories.

1. As a woman, you really don't know what it actually takes for a man to maintain an erection. Just admit it. You don't have a dick, so you can only speculate and recite what you've read/heard. The fact that there are guys out there that disprove what you're reciting proves this. Guys know what's myth and what's real about what can cause and kill an erection. You obviously don't know the workings of some of these things, so just admit it!

2. It is NOT "perfectly normal" for a young healthy male to not be able to get an erection "every now and again." And I'm waiting for you to show me these scientific studies that say otherwise.

Until you can address these 2 points that are putting a wrench in your entire argument, you have no credibility to stand on.

 

No where did I state mental - I said brain - the brain is an organ!

Please show me where I stated 100 percent mental? (Remember the brain is an organ, not mental..as you seem to think...)

I said "THE BRAIN <-------(organ) and mind are 100 percent responsible"

YOU took this as me saying it was 100 percent mental, because you failed to understand the brain is organic.

Please do quote where I stated "100 percent mental"

Whatever it takes to keep an erection AFTER THE BRAIN STARTS IT is SECONDARY mechanics - can you not understand that? Your erection is 100 percent dependant on normal brain function and mind state - everything else is secondary (are you understanding yet?).

No brain signals or an interference means no working of secondary mechanics. There are plenty of things that play a part in a car running on the road -BUT- if the battery is dead, all those things required are useless because the car isn't going to start.

Therefore, for a car to be able to run, it is 100 percent reliant on the battery....(Geeze, I cannot put it simpler!) So your waffle about keeping an erection up and what it takes is a moot point, because it's not happening if your brain cannot send signals!

Please show me where I stated "young healthy males?"

Yes it is normal for a man during his lifetime to have an issue now and again. This can simply be down to too much beer, drugs, medication, anxiety, etc and as I stated, five times in a row needs a doctors input.