Lets all together tell a story

Suddenly all of the churches collapse and everybody is made aware that there is no God. So now mankind is at peace, just when...

 

Sometimes these things just pop in your mind ya know? Thanks for the nice feedback.

 

Jesus becomes homeless when his houses all collapse around him. He finishes his morning coffee and heads out onto the street to bum some spare change from the passers by. His feet are sore by the end of the day, and he decides to use some of the money he has collected to get a pedicure.

 

He thinks to himself......"Sure don't want to start out tomorrow with sore feet. I gotta go find a job. Might have to do alot of walking. It may take me a while to adjust to my new life, but I think it'll be alright. I am a patient guy..believe me. Oh man...I gotta find somewhere to crash.
Hey! there's some.....

 

flyers that say,"Male Dancers Wanted for Upscale Club. Apply in Person. Bring Resume."

 

So Jesus uses his powers to get the Male Dancer job, and while he works he uses his powers to give the women watching him orgasms, just like what Jim Carrey did to Jennifer Aniston in Bruce Almighty.

 

This debunks the myth that women's orgasms don't exist, thus prompting a major research firm to investigate the phenomenon of women's orgasms. Jesus signs on as head researcher. An applicant named Judas applys one day, and after careful deliberation Jesus hires him for the firm. Jesus has his misgivings, but being that He is God he trusts his decision and keeps Judas on the team. The rest of the research firm consists of several famous televangelists, and the inventor of the female condom. Jesus keeps his job as male dancer, working nights and developing new brands of tear away thongs. Jesus meets this girl in the audience one day and he takes her home to his manger. After a few dates in the city, she tells him she is pregnant.

 

He realizes now that he needs to make better money, so he tries out for the Chippendale dancers and gets the gig. They ask him what his stage name is and he says, "Sweet Jesus" (because women are screaming it at all his performances)
Anyway, his act is a hit, and women from all over the country are slipping him hundred dollar bills. His new girlfriend, while enjoying the financial security from his fame, it jealous...frankly. So, she decides to.....

 

see what it's like batting for both sides. She has been curious about same sex relationships for a long time now, and feels it is time to try one out. She has had the hots for a girl at the gym for what seems like ages, but never had the courage to approach her. Debbie as she is called, decides to aproach Anne,(the object of her affection) at the gym. Anne is a sweet young girl of 18 years, with long brown hair down to her waiste, and a really toned athletic figure. Debbie sees Anne working on the abs and buns machine, slyly walks over and surreptitiously pulls out the pin from the weights while Anne is between sets. Debbie leans over her, her firm young boobs swaying freely in her warmup top and seemingly by accedent loses her balance and falls forward, dropping the pin down Anne's cleavage. At the same time she grabs hold of Anne to balance herself, adjusts her boobs, cocks her head to one side, and says in a sultry voice,"

 

Omg A Nuke!!! I Love Nukes!!!



THE FUCKIN' END!!!

 

ehem...Anne..that's a nice pair of nukes you have there. Did I say nukes? I meant "pecs".

 

RAOWRR!!!!

MORE NUKES!!! DESTRUCTION IS SUPREME!!!

 

Jesus rains 50 Hydrogen bombs down on an empty boxcar in Westminster England. The 3 poor hobos living in the boxcar were sharing a can of beans from a rusty can, when they heard something tap againt the window. "Hmmmm" says Joe the hobo. "Sounds like 50 Nuclear bombs just rained down on our boxcar. I think I will go out and have a look." Joe slides open the latch and opens the gate. "Oh my, I was worried for a second,"says Joe aloud. "It was only 50 water balloons, not Hydrogen bombs." "Thank heaven, now I", but before joe could finish his sentence

 

BUT THEN IT TURNED OUT TO REALLY BE NUKES!!!







THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED TO THE HOBOS!!!!

 

So everybody in the vecinity goes to the love in that is happening at the Jumpin Jack Flash memorial park, in West Redundo Palace Falls Fish Hatchery and sperm doner clinic. A bomb goes off and kills everybody. Pieces of people get in everyones eyes and hair, and then the people who get the pieces of people in their hair become pieces of people in the hair of others who were people who are in my hair and piece together the pieces of the peaceful peacers and pacifists who are pileing in pathetic places trying to avoid falling bricks. Then a nuclear bomb explodes kiilling the dead and the dying.

 

..whoa

 

and then cat stevens comes from the sky on the peace train and everyone stops bombing and getting bombed

 

And suddenly Cat Stevens realizes the mistake he has made for joining Islam and decides to become an secular humanist and return to his famous stage name and once again perform the songs that once made him famous. When suddenly we are returned to the story of Debbie and Anne, when Anne realizes that Debbie is interested in a sexual relationship, Anne immediately strips off her clothes and persuades Debbie to do the same, and the begin to fondle each others breasts and vaginas so gently. Debbie now realizes that she has been given the power by Jesus to give women orgasms, so she does this to herself and to Anne and their shared multiple orgasms is spread to everyone in the entire gym which erupts into a giant orgy of mass copulation. Penises sticking vaginas, Vaginas rubbing on mouths, Mouths Rubbing On Ass Cracks, etc... It's just one steaming piles of multiple orgasmic nirvana just when...

 

After many hours of wild fornication, and in the middle of the inky blackness of night, the fuse breaks. It is complete darkness in the gym. Cat Steven's blew out the circuit breaker while playing,"I'm being followed by a moon shadow" on his electric guitar. "Damn", he says aloud. "I am switching back to Islam. Alah be merciful", as he slowly empties the remains of his cocktail on the cooling floor, and snuffs out his joint with his foot. Just then a huge flash of light lights up the confused faces of the crowd, but just for a moment. It is followed by a very loud bang, and then screams. The lights then suddenly go on again. Somebody must have found the circuit breaker. Cat Steven's is lying on the ground; blood oozing from .45 caliber bullet wound that has opened in his chest. A dog comes up and starts to lick up the blood from the floor. A blind man is staggering around wondering what all the camotion is about, but missing his dog. Anne goes over to the blind man and says,"sir, please turn around, there is nothing to see over here." "See. I didn't see a thing, I am blind. I am just looking for my seeing eye dog." ,says the blind man. "He is just licking up the blood of the dying musicain. Dogs like the blood of artists." ,states Anne. As if it matters. "Wait, who is that running out the door with a smoking gun in his hand?",says Debbie. "It's

 

Martha Stewart... probably pissed of because the show was beeing broadcasted live and obviouselly every frigid house wife was more interested in waching a massive cum fest rather that a fucking carrot cake !! Out of the blue someone yells Im on drugs then....