Lets all together tell a story

matthews ther aint an ending ... this is the never ending story ...

 

many endings, and many beginnings aye?

this new one starts with la mathews as santa clause... "HO HO HO" he said in a drunken stuper... his fist clamped firmly around a dwindling cocktail. liqour, gimme liqour he pronounced. a bar maiden came with a mug of ail. "u know the misses is down in mexico with the reindeer, hell if i know wat shes doing but why dont u come up to the north pole with me?" he mumbled out with only the respect and dignity a drunk man can give to such a statement.

 

And so Mathews (aka santa) and the bar maid went on there way to the north pole. They took the spare sled pulled by a few of the backup reindeer: Guiness, Floyd, Bud, Miller, Sensi, and Spot. But on the way they noticed flashing lights behind them. The bar maid thought it was just the sunshine acid that Santa gave her but she came to a rude awakening when they were taking him in for a dui. Before she could say, "what the fuck is happening to me!?!" Floyd and company took to flight, and the next thing she knew she was landing in downtown Amsterdam.........

 

There he smoked weed so badly.. he shitted his pants..

 

then, in a moments lucidity, she realized she wasnt a man, and she hadnt smoked any weed. she had become hypnotized by some whirly thingy. she had indeed shit her pants though, but that had always been a problem for her as a young woman. as the reindeer laughed and laughed she kicked the snowand wandered in the direction of wat was, she supposed, a new pair of underwear.

 

when she reached the underwear, she saw a chocolate suprize with her name on it. Only then she realized that it was in fact her own underwear from a week before. But there was a note. The note had a phone number and dimebag, but no name. When she called the number she reached the party police. They had explained to her that she was under arrest becuase she wasn't participating in the Cannabis Cup that was in full swing, and the authorities were on their way. After a very strange trip, she ended up at the local co-ed party prison where she found santa pinned up against the wall. "Big Bubba" on the giving end...............

 

and so she woke up... and went 2 school..

 

cus my god, nobody could continue dreaming that fucked up shit, aye? but the school she went off to was no normal school, it was hogwarts school of hipcraft and cookery. where she learned every day how to be cool, and how to cook up the latest chemical concoction of mind expanding potions.

 

And during her stay there, sher heards some impossible news... Weed is legal for everyone in America... so she quikly moved back 2 america...

 

where she saw a man, three goatsa monkey doing and a couple bison........

 

she needed a closer look, she couldnt remember dosing today, but she knew this was one crazy fucking world...

 

And then.. out of nowhere.. she saw a white Rabbit...

 

which had already been present 1 thousand days before, what cought her atention is that he was singing Ramble on by Led Zeppelin...

 

so she took the advice and headed the fuck outa there...wandering to god knows where, she stuck out her thumb and wat she considered, the good side of the road...

 

And during her stay on the road.. A schoolbus with alot of lilttle bears stopped, and took her with them..

 

the bus stunk like sage, weed, and woods... as she tookapull of the bowl being passed around she inquired where they were going and wen they were stopping... they said they hadnt stopped yet, and were gunna keep till they got there...

 

And when they got there.. somewhere deep into the forest.. they played the guitar and smoked some... then the sun came above the clouds ... and they all said:

 

"Where are we?"

"I'm hungry man, pass me some doritos"

 

"were all out"
"fuck, brotha bear"
"lets go to the gas station"

so they went to score some munchies... lil' did they know they left 'whatshername' out in the woods... nobody ever new wat happened to lil wats her name, but some say, if u listen real closely u can hear on the wind saying...

 

"Whhhheeerreees myyyyy muuuunchiiiiiiies maaaaaaaaaan?"