Let's talk.

Actually he was on TV today. I just thought that song should help me get through my present trauma.

 

It will. I sure. Had to take a deep breath in. Xx
If I could sing (and I really can't) I would sing to you now.

 

I think this year has been an emotional challenge for us all.
I am doing my best to inspire us all. xxx

 

I will try Hard to inspire also. Xxx

 

Oh you do Scotty, you are a special friend. xxx

 

Thank you. Xxx and so are you Candy. Xx

 

I'm here for you too. Xxxx

 

Going to make me cry sweetie. Xxx

 

Sorry I will stop doing emotional stuff. xxx

 

Not at all. Xxx it's healthy.

 

So is this though

 

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. My dick's gone orange."

The sceptical doctor pauses to think and asks the man to drop his pants so he can check.
Sure enough, the chap's dick is orange. The doctor tells the man, "This is very strange. Sometimes things like this are caused by a lot of stress in a person's life."

Probing as to the causes of possible stress, the doctor asks, "How are things going at work?"
The man replies that he was fired about six weeks ago and the doctor tells him that this must be the cause of the stress.

The man responds, "No. The boss was a real arse, I had to work 20 to 30 hours of overtime every week and I had no say in anything that was happening. I found a new job a couple of weeks ago where I can set my own hours. I'm getting paid double what I got in the old job and the boss is really great."

So the doctor rules out work stress as the reason. He asks the man, "How's your home life?" The man says, "Well, I got divorced about eight months ago." The doctor reasons that this has got to be the cause for all of the patient's stress.

But the man says, "No. For years, all I listened to was nag, nag, nag. God am I glad to be rid of that old bitch." So the doctor takes a few minutes to think a little longer. He enquires, "Do you have any hobbies or a social life?"

The guy replies, "No, not really. Most nights I sit at home, watch porno films and eat Cheesy Wotsits."

 

Brilliant. It took me to the end to remember it. Lol

 

What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An im-pasta.

 

What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear!

 

hahahahahaha

 

A woman had come to see her shrink. When he began using sexual terms, she interrupted.

"Wait. What is a phallic symbol?"
"A phallic symbol," explained the doctor, "represents the phallus."

"What's a phallus?" asked the woman.
"Well," said the analyst, "the best way to explain it is to show you."
He stood up, unzipped his fly and took out his penis. "This is a phallus."

"Oh," said the girl, "it's like a prick, only smaller."

 

“A little boy and his friends are being called bastards and bitches by bullies at school. The boy goes home and asks, "Dad, what are bastards and bitches?" And his dad replies, "Bitches are ladies and bastards are gentlemen." Then the boy goes upstairs to see his mom. As he enters the room, he accidentally drops a perfume bottle, and his mom says, "Shit!" "Mom, what is shit?" and she says, "Perfume." So he goes to see his dad (who is carving a chicken), and his dad cuts himself and yells, "Fuck!" The boy asks, "Dad, what does fuck mean?" and dad says "preparing." Then he follows his dad upstairs. A few minutes later his mom and dad are about to have sex when his dad says, "Where are the condoms?" The little boy asks, "What are condoms?" and his father says, "Condoms are coats and jackets." The following night his father invites over some important business clients. The boy opens the door for them and says, "Hello! Please come in, Bastards and bitches. Hang your condoms up here, my mom is upstairs rubbing shit on her face and my dad is downstairs fucking the chicken.”

 

lol