Let's talk.

Yes I do. But much harder to photograph lol

 

They are shy.

Wanna joke?

 

Of course.

 

At the end of the tax year the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?"

"Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles."

"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way:
"What about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?"

"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, realising that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of matzos."

"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi.

"Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"

"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick to audit our accounts."

 

Awesome brilliant

 

On the night before his wedding, the shy young man thought he ought to ask his father what was expected of him in the bedroom.

"What exactly do I have to do?" he asked tentatively.

"Well son," said his father, "you remember what you used to play with as a teenager? All you have to do is stick that where your wife pees."

So the following night the young man threw his Action Man down the toilet.

 

Old but gold that one. Still. Makes me. Laugh

 

Three nuns who had recently died were on their way to heaven. At the pearly gates, they were met by St Peter. Around the gates there was a collection of lights and bells.

St Peter stopped them and told them that they'd each have to answer a question before they could enter the gates.

St Peter: "What were the names of the two people in the Garden of Eden?"

First nun: "Easy. Adam and Eve." The lights flashed, the bells rang and in she went through the pearly gates.

St Peter: "What did Adam eat from the forbidden tree?"

Second nun: "That's an easy one too. An apple." The lights flashed, the bells rang and in she went.

St Peter: "What was the first thing that Eve said to Adam?"

Third nun: "Oh, er... gosh, that's a hard one." The lights flashed, the bells rang and in she went too.

 

You crack me up lol.

 

Mother Superior: "Sister Maria, if you walk through town at night and you're accosted by a man with bad intentions, what would you do?"

Sister Maria: "I would lift my habit, Mother Superior."

Mother Superior (shocked): "And what would you do next?"

Sister Maria: "I would tell him to drop his pants."

Mother Superior (even more shocked): "And what then?"

Sister Maria: "I would run away. I can run much faster with my habit up than he can with his pants down."

 

I see this ending differently.

 

Awwww

 

Happy Soonday everyone. I do trust that you all attended Church for the good Lord's threats of eternal punishment.

 

Terry Fox - Wikipedia
I wonder whom this reminds me of.​

 

I never knew that.

 

That's a google tribute. I will start posting them here.

 

Nah I was working for my sins

 

You're a workaholic!