Let's talk.

I dunno????

 

I blame you Candy as you always disappear in the afternoon Lol

 

Blimey I just fell off my kitchen stool.

 

In response to the government's new education initiative, it is proposed that students will have to pass a test to be promoted to the next grade level. The new test will be called the 'First Arithmetic and Reading Test' or FART. All students who cannot pass a FART in the second grade will be retested in grades three, four and five until they are capable of passing a FART.

If a student does not successfully pass a FART by grade five, that student shall be placed in a separate English programme known as the 'Special Measures Easy Learning Language', or SMELL.

If, with this increased SMELL programme, the student cannot pass the required FART, he or she can still graduate to middle school by taking another course in 'Comprehensive Reading and Arithmetic Preparation', or CRAP.

If by age 14, the student cannot FART, SMELL or CRAP, he or she can earn promotion in an intensive one-week seminar known as the 'Preparatory Reading for Unprepared Nationally Exempted Students', or PRUNES.

It is the opinion of the Schools Inspectorate that an intensive week of PRUNES will almost certainly enable any student to FART, SMELL and CRAP.

In the long term, it is envisaged that this revised education initiative should help to clear the air.

 

Anything with fart in it gets my vote

 

Yep, love it

 

Teacher said--".I want everyone to write sentences with the words --detail, deduct, defeat and defense. Johney pipes up and says--"I can do it in one sentence."Teacher says "impossible." "Can I go home if I can do it," says the boy. Yes, the teacher replied. "Ok----defeat of deduct went over defense before detail. See ya tomorrow. "

 

Group of young lads at the swimming pool notice an old guy the other side of the pool but what they notice mostly is the old guy has quite a large bulge at the front of his swimming trunks. They decide to approach the old guy and one says to him, "For an old guy Grandpa your sporting quite a package down there"
"Yes" said the old guy, "in my younger days I used to be a plumber and when aroused I could bend copper pipes over it"
Young lads are amazed.
"Of course I cant do it nowadays..... my wrists have gone"

 

Eddie Van Halen dies at 65.

 

9 mins ago — — Music legend Eddie Van Halen has died after a battle with throat cancer. According to TMZ, which first broke the news, the Van Halen co-founder passed away Tuesday at St. Johns Hospital in Santa Monica, California. Van Halen was 65. His son, Wolf Van Halen, confirmed his father's death on Twitter.

 

Time for bed said Zebedee.

 

It’s Raining Men says The Weather Girls.
Just for you Gal!







Looking towards the Sea here in Colwyn Bay:

Shared Live Stream | Nest

Looking towards railway bridge:

Shared Live Stream | Nest

 

A guy bought a new fridge for his house.


To get rid of his old fridge { still working }, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.'

For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.
He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.
So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'
The next day someone stole it !

They walk among us !

■ One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted, "Look at that dead bird !"
Someone looked up at the sky and said "Where?"

They walk among us !

■ While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was North because he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the North?'

My brother explained that the sun rises in the East and has for some time. She shook her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff.'

They walk among us !

■ My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard an admin girl talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but said she "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving."

They walk among us !

■ My sister has a life saving tool in her car which is designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk.

They walk among us !

■ I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.

The woman there smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and said I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived yet?' { I work with professionals like this }.

They walk among us !

■ While working at a pizza parlor, I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6.

He thought about it for some time then said "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."

They walk among us !

And last, but not the least. Dumb as a box of Rocks TRUE STORY...

■ A noted Psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Donald Trump happened to appear.

Mr. Trump took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.

'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' he asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?'

'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.'

'What sort of question?' asked Trump.

Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?''

Trump thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history.'

Sadly, they walk among us !

 

Good morning talkers all the way from Colwyn Bay here in North Wales UK, and the Sun is shining though it is still only 12c outside.
You can of course look for yourself what the weather is doing by looking in at my Live Nest CCTV Cameras.
We are off out to hospital shortly as I have bloods to be taken, but I am worrying about the prick.
Have a nice day:

Looking towards the Sea here in Colwyn Bay:

Shared Live Stream | Nest

Looking towards railway bridge:

Shared Live Stream | Nest

......

 

Nobody talks anymore?

 

I can hear Zebedee coming.

 

...





...


Good morning Singers In The Rain and talkers and weather and live stream watchers.
Quite a nice morning here today in Colwyn Bay North Wales UK, particularly as the rain has gone for today.
I hope you have a lovely one.

...

Looking towards the Sea here in Colwyn Bay:

Shared Live Stream | Nest

Looking towards railway bridge:

Shared Live Stream | Nest

....

Candy’s Cam:

https://magicseaweed.com/Bournemouth-Surf-Report/12/

 

A man visits his doctor suffering from premature ejaculation, the doctor suggests he tries to startle himself as he feels his, condition, about to arise, so on the way home he buys a starting pistol, the next day he's back at the doctors, " how did it go," asks the doctor, the man replies," not good, I bought a starting pistol to startle myself as you suggested, my wife and I found ourselves in the 69 position, after a few minutes I found my little problem about to surface so I fired the pistol, my wife shat on my face and bit 3 inches off my penis and the next door neighbour came out of the wardrobe with his hands in the air..