Let's talk.

Q: When is the only time a guy can multi-task? A: When he's watching porn, masturbating, and keeping an eye on the door at the same time...

 

One day two very loving parents got into a huge fight, the man called the women a "bitch" and the women called the man a "bastard". Their son walked in and said "What does bitch and bastard mean?" and the parents replied "ladies and gentlemen". The next day the parents decided to have sex, the women said "feel my titties" and the man said "feel my dick". Their son walked in and asked "What does titties and dick mean?" and the parents replied "hats and coats". On Thanksgiving the dad was shaving and he cut himself, "Shit" he said, the kid came in and asked "What's that mean" and the man said it was the brand shaving cream he was using. Down stairs the mom was preparing the turkey, and she cut herself, "Fuck" she said. Once again the kid asked "What's that mean" the mom said that is what she calls stuffing the turkey. Then the door bell rang. The kid answered the door to his relatives and said "Alright you bitches and bastards, put your dicks and titties in the closet, my dad is upstairs wiping the shit off his face, and my mom is in the kitchen fucking the turkey!

 

A couple driving home hit and wounded a skunk on the road. The wife gets out and brings it back to the car. "We need to take it to a vet. Its shivering, it must be cold, what should I do?" she asks. Husband replies "Put it between your legs to keep it warm." "But it stinks!" she exclaims. "So hold its nose!"

 

My girl caught me blowing my dick with the air dryer, and asked what I was doing? Apparently "heating your dinner" wasn't a good answer.

 

Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.

 

Have a lovely Moonday everyone!

 

Did you find the morning?

 

I found it last night.

 

What's breakfast? Scones? lol

 

Was the sun shining?

 

I had Corn flakes.

 

I don't think he's found it for you either

 

A lot of sugar in them

Ok I will go now before you hit me ......................................................................

 

Oh my Father Time. lol

 

And you just sleeping it away LOl x

 

I don't think she wants that white stain

 

It's a bit gloomy today.
I must post on the Weather thread.

 

Well it seems that the only chat is on PMs these days????

 

The real thread is the new Experience thread these days.

 

Oh that is just experiences.
Not chat.
I better go soon, I talk for England.