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Coronavirus: Professor infects himself twice, refutes herd immunity | Daily Mail Online​

 

Will someone please turn off the tap - I'm getting really pee'd off with all this rain !!!

 

Morning chatters. Happy Thursday. Hope you all have a good day.

 

Happy Thrustday everyone!

 

I've been thinking - perhaps if we had a winter like that in 1963, it might kill off the Corona virus entirely !!!

Something like this !!!

 

I don't think so Vlad.

 

New rules bringing the Royal Navy into 21st Century !!!


The Royal Navy is proud to announce its new fleet of Type 45
destroyers. Having initially named the first two ships HMS Daring and
HMS Dauntless, the Naming Committee has, after intensive pressure from
Brussels, renamed them HMS Cautious and HMS Prudence. The next five
ships are to be HMS Empathy, HMS Circumspect, HMS Nervous, HMS
Timorous and HMS Apologist.

Costing £850 million each, they comply with the very latest
employment, equality, health & safety and human rights laws. The
Royal Navy fully expects any future enemy to be jolly decent and to
comply with the same high standards of behaviour.

The new user-friendly crow's nest has excellent wheelchair access.
Live ammunition has been replaced with paintballs to reduce the risk
of anyone getting hurt and to cut down on the number of compensation
claims. Stress counsellors and lawyers will be on board, as will be a
full sympathetic industrial tribunal.

The crew will be 50/50 men and women and will contain the correct
balance of race, gender, sexuality and disability. Sailors will only
work a maximum of 37hrs per week as per Brussels Rules on Working
Hours, even in wartime. All the vessels are equipped with a maternity
ward, a crèche and a gay disco.

Tobacco will be banned throughout the ship, but recreational cannabis
will be allowed in wardrooms and messes.

The Royal Navy is eager to shed its traditional reputation for; "Rum,
sodomy and the lash"; so out has gone the rum ration, replaced by
sparkling water. Sodomy remains, now extended to include all ratings
under 18. The lash will still be available on request.

Saluting of officers is now considered elitist and has been replaced
by the greeting "Hello Sailor".

All information on notice boards will be in 37 different languages and
Braille, with the option for more if personnel from other ethnic
groups join the ship’s company.

Crew members will now no longer have to ask permission to grow beards
and/or moustaches. This applies equally to the female and transgender
crew.

The MoD is inviting suggestions for a "non-specific" flag because the
White Ensign may offend minorities. The Union Jack must never be
seen.

The newly re-named HMS Cautious will be commissioned shortly by
Captain Hook from the Naval Group Committee of the Finsbury Park
Mosque who will break a petrol bomb over the hull. She will gently
slide into the sea as the Royal Marines Band plays "In the Navy" by
the Village People. Her first deployment will be to escort boatloads
of illegal immigrants to ports on England's south coast.

The Prime Minister said, "Our ships reflect the very latest in modern
thinking and they will always be able to comply with any new orders or
legislation from Brussels."

His final words were, "Britannia waives the rules.

 

Ooh

 

United States Navy - NIL - Spanish Lighthouse - 1 !!!

 

The sun's not out, the sky ain't blue, it's pissing down like it always do, yes it's raining, tell me something new.. lol

 

A kid comes home from school, 'dad, what's the difference between theory and reality?' he asks, his dad thinks for a while then replies, 'go upstairs and ask your mother if she'd have sex with the plumber for a million pounds' the kid goes off and on his return he replies, 'she said she would dad', so his dad says, 'right go ask your sister the same question' , once again the kid comes back with the same reply, 'she says she would dad'. The father looks at him, well son, in theory we're sitting on a couple of million quid, in reality we're living with a couple of slags'.

 

I saw this sign in the Tesco cafe, that said coffee, cake and conversation.

Ha you need to carry a crusifix to chat to strangers these days!

 

Plague carriers ahead lol

 

It doesn't work on Covid19!

 

Damn it looked like it was working!

 

Not even holy water can abate it!

 

It's sad to have to accept but this will be part of the cold and flu season.

 

Yes I know that

 

Is it my bedtime?
I thought I heard Zebedee.