Long time gf refuses to give head.

So you are saying that a guy should just be happy that he's getting laid at all? Let's all be miserable about everything else, cause at least we are getting laid. That's the worst thing I've ever heard. You could turn that reasoning right back around on women. Any female that has a penis size preference, should freaking accept a man with a 2 incher; because at least he has one. She should accept it and that's that. How do you like your ridiculous reasoning now?

 

That is quite a while. If it had been a few months, I'd say wait and see if she opens up... Maybe it's something from her past that turns her off about it. Do you know the reasons she doesn't like it? I wouldn't push it or stress her. That really won't help the situation.

You have to decide whether you care more about being with her or getting head and having an open GF in the bedroom. For me, it's very important. If she's not willing to eventually open up and try new things and work to please me like I do for her... well...It would depend...but it would be a strong factor for not being with her.

 

I wouldn't presume someone's genuine enjoyment based on that (read below).
But what you said about possible past experiences makes sense. Here's mine...

OP, be careful about showing her porn, it was porn that turned me off of giving head.
What I saw in porn was just gratuitous sex, men using the women for their own selfishness and not reciprocating. After seeing too much bad porn where I never saw a female get off I got it into my head that giving bj's was degrading and that was very hard to overcome.

Porn is a tricky thing you see I can masturbate to gratuitous porn and enjoy it but I put myself in the man's place as I can't relate to the women, how can I relate to them when I want to have fun and I don't see them having the ultimate pleasure. But in the end it does mess with my head to the point where I don't wanna do what they do and that is give bj.

 

My ex was like that as well... I love oral both giving and getting, but she was rarely down on me. I would ask her sometimes and would get shot down. I mean I don't expect a yes every time, but its a real turn off to be denied like that when you are in the mood. I want a woman that just goes with the flow, just relax and be comfortable with the situation, and who would do anything (within reason of course) for my pleasure because I would do anything for hers.

Sex is not just about getting off, in fact I will often go for hours after I do. Its about passion and enjoying the moment to its fullest. Its about doing everything you can to make them feel like they are the only person in the world at that moment. Its about knowing exactly what they want and when they want it. Neither person should ever have to ask for anything. If they do, you are doing something wrong, or not doing it enough. I will not stop until my lover is satisfied, and neither should my lover.

 

Well this is from a girls point of view. I have no idea why she "doesn't like it" I love giving my guy oral. It turns me on! Sometimes I do just that, grab him suck him, swallow and walk away.

However, your girl may have been processing the idea of sucking your cock for awhile and the night you were both drunk and she tried it (unsuccessfully) and you stopped her perhaps that wounded her and put her off.

If someone doesn't want to do something and then tries it willingly then to be 'shut down' then I doubt she would want to do it again. Unfortunately if this is the case the damage has been done and if you care for her and want to stay with her you will have to be very patient and also try to relax her into it again. Encourage her without deflating her. She needs to feel sexy and wanted too. If you want details let me know. Good Luck.

 

Damn... all you menfolk have the same opinion here...

Well, seeing as I'm a girl, so I'm going to give you my opinion.

Not every girl loves giving head. That's just a personality thing. Have you ever actually talked to her about why she doesn't like it? If she's inexperienced she might just feel stupid or not know what to do. Perhaps suggest she ask a friend for some advice?

But then again, some girls are just grossed out by it. If that's the case with her, you're not going to get it, and forcing her into it or refusing to pleasure her is just hurting the entire situation.

But hey, it's your choice. Sexual conflict can totally destroy a relationship, especially if you don't talk about the tension.

 

My wife didn't give me blowjobs with a happy ending for the longest time. Now she does it all the time. She didn't like having her pussy eaten either for the first few years after we met each other. Now she grabs my head and pushs me down there.

 

Thats just it... how can you be with someone who never fullfills your sexual desires? Yea I know, its just oral, but I think you see my point. You are always going to be wanting it, but you are never going to get it. It will either just frustrate the hell out of you or you will go find it somewhere else.

 

ZenDragon, I can answer that. But the first question would be: Do I know this when getting INTO the relationship, and; is it really that important to me.
My wife once did something I won't say, but, she doesn't anymore. I still love her, so who cares about that thing?
Of course, we've been legaly married for 18 years last June.
I guess it's all about priorities.

 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying getting head is more important than any other aspect of a healthy relationship. I understand the point you are trying to make. However, I think it should be a priority in any relationship that both partners be willing to compromise in general. What you get out of a relationship should be directly proportionate to what you put in for the most part, otherwise I think you have problem.

 

Thanks all... I think the simplest thing to do is just accept that it most likely is not going to happen. And as the the whole psychological factor of being shot down and not wanting to do it again is a valid argument. I still don't really think about it that much, but I guess its also a luxury to be blown, really. I love her, and I would never break up with her just because of sexual desire (under the given circumstances, at least). And yes, she was a virgin when I first met her. She used to actually not like sex at all the first month or so, and then she just went crazy about it. And also, I really don't care about 'happy endings' with head either, I just wanted it just enough anyways, but I might just stop going down on her also, especially if I am not in the mood.

And as for porn... my gf would be disgusted by it. Seriously. It would be a bad idea if she knew that I had even several movies on my computer, but showing them to her is not an option.

 

About stopping going down on her, watch out...
If I had a man give me that ultimatum than I would stop giving intercourse, period. The reason is simple, you guys can cum during intercourse but I, like most girls, can't, I need my pussy eaten, I don't need intercourse, not until I'm turned on anyways and cunnilingus is the most effective way of doing that.
Don't forget guys need intercourse more than most women, we can hold off on sex if we're not getting eaten.
So stop eating pussy and you may end up not getting ANY sex. That's just the way it is, wish it wasn't so but until then, keep eating those pussies.

 

Wait wait... No I agree with many people on this post who said that its about give and take, but I dont think its time to dump her. Now, if she doesnt feel comfortable dont hate her for it. I think you should talk to her more and if she still wont... Well.. i guess its up to you how important she is to you. If shes more important than a blowjob than I think you should stick with her, and maybe in time it will come. Talk to her about why shes uncomfortable and try to reason with her, and hopfully some day she will get over it. Getting head isnt always all its cracked up to be. Its more of a foreplay thing for me. Even when she is just getting me off I prefer getting head and then getting jerked untill I cum.