Looks Vs Personality

Alot of people think of it as the ugly person with the good personality, but what really drives me nuts is a pretty girl who is a complete fucking retard. No personality, no intelligence. It's not that I particularly prefer "ugly" girls with a good personality, but that I hate these popular girl(note:dumbasses) so much, I can't stand to be around them. I met a girl the other day. Real sweet and all, and I start talking to her about music. I ask, "what's your favorite band?" A minute later, "hmmm.... blink 182". It's like, what the hell, why do I bother? All these really good looking, above average good looking girls are always either taken, or idiots. It's bullshit I say!

 

The age on all the females posting is above 17

Insight into the maturity of slightly older women?

Or just really hot...

 

I don't see how anybody could say they would take a good looking idiot over a not so good looking person with a great personality. That boggles my mind.

 

WHAT?! GIRLS go for the looks?? i think it's guys that totally go for looks... guys are the more visually stimulated of our species.... my opinion anyway

 

anyway... i also tend to go for chubbish guys myself, and for me the attractiveness totally comes out after i get to know a person. somebody has to be incredibly model gorgeous for me to check them outbefore i know their personality... ppl get more attractive/unattractive as i get to know them. it takes a while to decide if somebody is good-looking or not. everybody has their own good-looking physical features anyway


blah, i'm getting tired, hopefullly that all made sense

 

oh, i said above that i tend to go for chubbier guys, but actually my last bf was the skinniest guy ever but he had a GREAT smile and personality that made his smile glow even more to me after i spent time with him....

 

I agree that its a personality is what draws you in in the end,
But don't The looks make you notice the person first,
I mean, do you think that person with the upside down nose gets people coming for their number etc, or is that the hottie at the bar?
So how do the people with great personalisties get the attention
Not disagreeing with anyone, just wondering if u'd thought of this, and what your opinion is....




HELZ

 

I've posted this elsewhere but..


I grew up on a council estate, (social housing) and the family on either side both had a son my age who had model good looks. They were always chasing girls, and by the time we were 13-14 they were chasing and laying much older women (the posher the better) by pretending they were older. I was the gawky, awkward, book-reading kid they took along because 9 times out of ten these great looking women had a not so good-looking friend with them. Its some kind of phenomena with good-looking women - do they have those kinds of friends to emphasis how good looking they are. Anyway, they use them like a human shield, warding off any unwanted attention. And I was the bait, the distraction.

And I must say I made some really good female friends that way, and began to think that maybe I didn't have to leave school at 16 like everyone else where I lived. I was quite happy to be told I was the kind of boy they wished they'd had as a brother\friend,etc, - it was only when I was looking to start a relationship in my own right that that hurt. (Message to all girls - please don't use that line to any guy who is serious about you, it comes as a real kick in the ego)

We're all now in our mid-forties - I'm still tall and gawky, but with a university education and a wife that I deeply love still after 22 years and who makes me think and makes me talk, well as for my childhood friends, one's gone to prison for stealing money from his employer to support his gorgeous wife in a lifestyle he couldn't afford, and the others faded latin looks means he still has another teenage bimbo on his arm - wonder when he'll tell them about the six kids by different partners and the wife who committed suicide - the police could never prove which one of his many jealous ex-lovers was responsible for the poison-pen campaign that forced that poor girl to such a desperate act.

For a while I ended up pretty jaundiced about human beings - even now we have friends in their forties who drive me to despair, on their first or second divorce, who still think the only criteria for a lasting relationship is good looks.

 

Many girls don't seem to be nearly as interested in looks as guys are. I've known some pretty creepy looking guys who have no problem with girls because they have a great sense of humor and exude confidence. Women are attracted to good looking guys, but the physical part, while helpful, is not the most important thing. In fact guys who aren't all that great looking have an advantage in a way. While we might not get ALL the girls we're interested in, the ones we do manage to snare are the best of the bunch. The list we have to sort through to find the right person is shorter, because all of the shallow catty nitwits self-select themselves out of the race. We still have to find a needle in a haystack, but our haystack is a lot smaller, and the needle we're looking for is just as wonderful. So in a way we should feel sorry for the really good looking guys because they have to deal with all these wretched vicious bitches that us not-so-handsome guys don't.

 

Who's blink 182?

I'm getting old..... The last time I was aware of what was on the top 40, Nirvana and Pearl Jam were the big thing.

Music today, or at least mainstream commercialized recycled pop, is the most god awful crap I think I've ever heard. Is there any good music being made outside someone's garage anymore?

I'm so sick of the situation that I've been tempted to study music. The crap that's on top 40 nowadays isn't even white noise compared to the stuff I daydream but can't put down as music because I don't know how.

I think, and this is not any kind of a deep insight or anything, that the record industry is fucked because the next big thing isn't going to be something they're the middleman for. The next big thing will be something that creeps in under the radar via fileshareing networks and word of mouth. I'm just waiting to see what it will be.

Off topic, I know...

 

Exactly. People like to sound noble and say, "Looks are not important, I see the beautiful person inside," but that skirts some issues.

Before you ever get near to knowing the person's personality, you see the person externally, and if you don't see something physically attractive about them, you are not going to say, "Well, I still have to check out that personality, just to make sure!"

Even still, it is possible to fall for someone after you get to know them, if you got to know them despite not finding them physically attractive. I have a female friend who I think is pretty hot but not because she has the prettiest face (she does not) or the best body (it's okay) but because she's adventuresome and fun and interesting and open-minded. We fooled around before, and I probably could have had her as a girlfriend if I hadn't been a bit put off by some various (no need to specify) things. But now I do look back fondly on the things we did together because we brought out the playfulness in each other. It was cool.

But I would not have picked her out of a crowd to approach and try to get close to her. It happened because she came up to me. She might have done that because to her, I was attractive physically and she wanted to get to know my personality.

Anyway, if you're talking about the long haul, for me there has to be a mixture of looks and personality, but it is definitely true that once a person has grown on you and in you, the looks matter less and less -- and you come to love the person for whatever they look like. You even come to love them not despite their physical flaws, but because of them.

Blue skies,
-Jeffrey

 

LOMFin'L!!! You are SOOOO RIGHT! Where I live, this place is FULL of such vacuous girls. They think the world ends right beyond their nail salons. Ask them what NAFTA means and they'll say they think it's a brand of purses! Not worth the time, not worth the effort, and not worth lusting after. I read a great sig-line somewhere: "No matter how hot she is, no matter how great she looks, someone, somewhere, is sick of her shit!"


Blue skies,
-Jeffrey

 

Can I have a good looking person who is nice? Well in anycase I would go for the nice person...who wouldn't?!

 

Yeah, I'd have to say personality rules all...

 

Anyone who values looks over personality is a shallow person and you should feel better to be rid of her and know what she's like now as apposed to getting really involved and getting your heart broken later.

 

This subject is the entire reason I'm still single. I'm decent-looking. Not pimple-faced, clean cut, 6 foot. But I'm not at all tan, and I'm skinny. So, do girls talk to me? No. They talk to Mr. Jackass with the dyed blonde hair and no brain. It really pisses me off. They have no personality, and no humor at all, but girls just love them. Its sick. I'm nice, funny, and helpfull and I get nothing. Uggghh, I just wish someone could clear this up for me someday.

 

Well, someday you will meet a decent looking girl who has an increadable passion for something and cares about you more than her hair. I personally have a record of dating well-padded guys - they are stronger, and comfy-er to cuddle with.

 

I like to think of myself as a nice person and relatively good looking, and yet in my town the people who the girls go after are these stupid "I'm an alcoholic cokehead and I beat my girlfriend everyday" kinda guys. This makes me sick. When your through getting treated like shit, come to me and I'll show you how a guy is supposed to treat a woman

Personality wins everytime, but I think there still has to be that original attraction there, or it wont work in the long run.

 

Amen brother, I feel the same way. If only they knew how well I would treat them.

 

That sounds cute in all but if there was a girl like that, i would never date her if she looked like that, no matter her personality. First of all i would never approuch her to begin with. Plus someone that deformed wouldn't have such a bright personality because they are probably self-conscious as fuck.