love a choice or an emotional state?

Well I'm glad your friend and you had that argument, and someone else took my side, as I kind of was just waxing off and shit (but using counter knowledge that I've picked up).

But tbh the real answers might just turn you into a cynic. I do not believe in "love" -- love is just an opportunity at reciprocated infatuation. Love is the same feeling of like, only more of it.


Whatever lovey-dovey bullshit you believe in though, you have the chance of convincing another, so it's not necessarily a bad thing. Perception is very much part of reality, especially when those you meet aren't enlightened beings, therefore receptive to whatever reality you believe in or create. You're always free to create that atmosphere.. so to speak. (So don't be a cynic like me)

Possibly. But too many people are stuck playing games, indulging their ego, playing by social rules. I think evereyone is capable of making genuine loving connection with another (and why not? If I have no harm or intent for you, you should recpicorate), but you're going to be wholly disappointed as shit trying to convince everyone around you of it.

Even nice people play games, to survive socially, or not look like a puss.

-- I've met some really friendly hippy people, and I bet within their community they can be happy people, but outside of it dude shit is ROUGH, I tell ya.


*also i think bitches are too hard-wired to unbiasly judge someone upon first meeting. Too much assholes and nice guys meek shit in the way. It's ridiculous. When you add ego and attraction ladders it almost gets impossible.

 

not a clue, i thought i was in love once, but in hindsight, i think i was mistaking love for dependency. i "just knew", but i was wrong, my idea of how it should feel was skewed. it was an intense rush of emotions and pain at being apart, i had no other word for it, so i assumed it was love.

at least that's how i see it now, maybe i was right to think it was, but i hope not.

i don't think it would be possible to consciously convince yourself that you were in love, but if you wanted to be in love enough, possibly your brain could kick everything into gear for you without a conscious decision on your part to decieve yourself about it.

however, i'm not sure that would really be love, if love is based on a kind of symbiotic empathy, then it should take human interaction as a starting point, not a desire for an abstract concept or a change in personal state.

eh, fuck knows.

 

People can lie to themselves pretty much about anything if they want to believe it enough.

But I agree with the last paragraph about something not being love if it's not symbiotic. If it's not symbiotic I think we just call that a crush.

 

true, i supose what i was trying to get across was the difference between a sort of cognitive dissonance arising organically and subconsciously when you want to be in love and- hey presto! its not long before you are, and on the other hand; consciously saying to oneself, knowing that one was not in love: "i'm going to be in love now." consciously forcing these kinds of emotions i'm not sure is possible, but subconsciously i think your brain could simulate them for you.

 

This reminds me of the argument I was having with my friend. And what you said makes sense to me as well but aren't all emotions simply expressions of the subconscious? If you were to believe that love is an emotional expression of the subconscious, then wouldn't that imply that it is an emotional state, rather than a choice? Or do you think that the ability of your conscious mind to influence your subconscious mind makes a resulting emotional state a choice to begin with?

 

Love is a commitment that culminates in marriage.

 

you resurrected this thread to tell us that]?

I guess you could say that, but I'm sure you could love someone without being married, whether or not you were to have sex with them.

 

I think choosing to love others in a platonic way is a choice.

Whereas romantic attraction love is not, it just happens.