UA, i'm very sorry to hear about your loss. It is a very complicated issue thats for sure. something i don't think i will ever work out and i could never imagine what you must have gone through. i couldn't agree with you more. i think it's safe to say i lost my mind a bit when i fell in love and sometimes i think i'm even more mad to still be with the chap (for reasons i wont get into). the thought of leaving and losing that love does scare me though, i admit that, even though i, like you, think it's possible after the initial heartache i could be happier without it. as freddy mercury said, 'too much love will kill you'.
Too bad that Freddy didn't say "too much buttsecks will kill you." Otherwise he'd still be alive and making amazing music.