Making out but no sex?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Romanov, Jun 17, 2007.

  1. liguana

    liguana Member

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    This is where men and women don't understand each other. And men are just as responsible for understanding women too.

    Women want a little fun. That means getting naked and all but not necessarily going all the way.
    Whereas men wanna go all the way, or perhaps is it to have NO fun at all. Is that what you're saying Mr. Berguh. That the couple, or girl in this case, is not entitled to a little fun. If there is no flirting or heavy petting, the guy would make NO progress whatsoever in bedding the girl cos getting the girl interested in sex often takes incremental steps as in the OP case.

    Men have to understand that it takes incremental steps and even weeks for a girl to be fully aroused for sex, or else there won't be any sex.
    If the girl is to 'get her point across' then no one would be having any fun and no one would be any closer to having sex.

    If we are to save men from blue balls are we to go back the the Victorian era where women kept men at arms length at all times and there would be no fun 'til the 'dreadful wedding night', yes dreadful cos the women were not ready for sex cos there was no prelude to it.
     
  2. Mr. Berguh

    Mr. Berguh Member

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    Ok, so are you willing to say that there has not been a single girl in this world that has said no to her bf "No Sex" just to tease him but still wanted to have sex?
     
  3. Mr. Berguh

    Mr. Berguh Member

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    You posted this reply like if you were disagreeing with me but in fact that's exactly what I said. That's why I quoted you in the first place.
    In other words I posted that the guy has to be very patient with first times and that we can't be pushy. We are all to have blue balls at one point in our lifes lol. Women will have fun at our expense and there is nothing we can do about it. You can go back to my post anytime and see it yourself.

    The debate here is wether this girl did the right thing to get her message across or not. I think not.
     
  4. Duck

    Duck quack. Lifetime Supporter

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    do you not know the definition of 'usaully'?

    and in no way did that other peron's post agree with yours..
     
  5. Mr. Berguh

    Mr. Berguh Member

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    No, but I do know the definition of "usually" haha.
    But... do you? Because if you did, then you could understand exactly what I am trying to say.
    ;)
     
  6. liguana

    liguana Member

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    No, I didn't mean to disagree with you totally, but it can be a bit of a sketchy point how far a girl can take it.
    I've been in bed with a guy, both of us fully clothed and spooning, was a helluva fun:p There are no clear boundaries here but the verbal message.
     
  7. Duck

    Duck quack. Lifetime Supporter

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    damn me +_+
    just because there is an infinitely small chance that the person is going against the usual, doens't mean they are
    you should go with what seems most likely
     
  8. Mr. Berguh

    Mr. Berguh Member

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    It happens lol
    Did I ever say that?
     
  9. Allonym

    Allonym cheesecake slut

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    my bf and i slept in the same bed 3 or 4 times before we ever fucked. we werent ready for sex with each other yet, we wanted to take it slow, so we slept together, made out, dry humped/grinded, but the underwear stayed on

    ill admit i did change int he bathroom instead the first time, the second and third time i just slept in my panties and he was in his underwear too. then again, he actually believed me when i said "no sex tonight" because hes not an idiot

    ive never told him "no" when i meant "yes". i have sai dno a few times when i wasnt really feeling up to it, but he fooled around with me enough that i wanted sex (and fooled around enough himself that the intercourse was short, thankfully, because extended intercourse when youre feeling schmutzy isnt so great)

    but, my bf and i are really good at being honest with each other. he likes blunt honesty, so i tryto be as blunt and honest as i can with him so that there isnt much guessowrk about what i want (at least, as compared to other chicks)
     
  10. what2do

    what2do Member

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    sex isnt everything about a relationship, she just wasnt in the mood that night which you should totally respect, and when you kept trying to take her underwear off probably put her off even more if she says no she means no..
     
  11. blinkin

    blinkin Senior Member

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    be unavailable....fuck havnt any other men but me watched the tao of steve!!!!!
    its all about the tao man!
     
  12. Romanov

    Romanov Member

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    You tease! The poor guy. LOL

    No I shall not be making that mistake anytime soon. The thing is when she whispers "no" with a grin, whilst making direct eye contact and then proceeding to make out some more, it doesn´t quite have the same impact...also everytime she said "no" like that it turned me on even more. In fact the whole episode is a turn on, it´s made me twice as desperate...
     
  13. Flannelwearin'gal

    Flannelwearin'gal .robert.johnson.fan.

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    I think she just didn't wanna fuck that night
     
  14. Allonym

    Allonym cheesecake slut

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    meh, he knew we werent going ot have sex, we -both- wanted to take it slow, he believes me when i say somethign and doesnt assume its just me teasing him or lying to him

    besides, he could go a lot longer without sex than i could. he has the higher libido, but better control over it heh
     
  15. Mr. Berguh

    Mr. Berguh Member

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    I also think honesty is one of the biggest factors that make a relationship work. Cus after all, how can you make things work out with somebody you can't trust?

    The sad part is that not all girls are like you.
     
  16. liguana

    liguana Member

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    Romanov, are you an all or nothing kind of lover. Well you have to learn that women don't operate that way. It's the way we're biologically made and don't blame us, your forefathers have selected their women this way hah. If you don't give her any prelude to sex, how is she ever to get interested in it. You can't expect her to get suddenly aroused like you men.

    You have to give her the anticipation, the courtship, the building sexual tension to eventually get her aroused.
    Often when couples move too fast for the girl she ends up dissatisfied and then disinterested for any more sex in the future.
     
  17. mlee27

    mlee27 Member

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    maybe she just wanted to cuddle haha
     
  18. Bella Désordre

    Bella Désordre Charmed

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    I disagree. She's just not ready yet. Even if she's slept with somone else before it doesn't entitle this guy to sex.

    The thing that pisses me off is that he made it a point to say they got drinks and dinner so he naturally assumed they were going to have sex...that is hillarious. He should be grateful for her time and that she let him sleep in her bed and the more patient he is the quicker he will get some. Guys who've assumed they're going to get laid or who buy me things thinking it's going to speed up the process actually bought a ticket out of my life and their presents back with a polite note stating that I hope they don't have a problem returning things.
    This girl doesn't sound like a whore and if she was I think she may chage more than dinner and drinks...just my opinion.
    Ya'll can't have it both ways. You can't have a 'good girl' AND have a girl who wants sex asap at the same time. We don't exist.
     
  19. Romanov

    Romanov Member

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    I didn´t expect sex because I´d bought her dinner, it was more to do with the fact that I went back to her place and made out in her bed virtually naked...that kind of got my hopes up a bit (and not just my hopes either).
     
  20. Mr. Berguh

    Mr. Berguh Member

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    She didn't want to have sex but she confused you with her actions.
    That's what I've been trying to explain to every1, but girls keep replying with their own personal experiences like if every other girl in the world was exactly like them.

    I can completely see things from your point of view though.
    What u can do now is learn from ur mistake & move on. Next time don't insist as much, most some girls don't like it when the guy is being too pushy. Am sure that if u keep treating her right and u make all the right moves, she'll be ready for you in no time ;)
     

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