Well, I'm not sure where to begin, so I'll just tell my story. I got married when I was 16 to a man who was 29. (yes...stupid...I know) I had a really horrible home life because my mother was depressed and suicidal. And the guy told me he loved me and would take care of me. But I was 16 and had never lived on my own, basically I had no experience whatsoever. I had a lot to learn and he wasn't willing to give me time to learn, he expected me to be the perfect little housewife right away. He expected a lot more than I knew how to give. And when he didn't get what he wanted he screamed at me and put me down. and before long I started to hate him. That marriage fell apart and I'm so glad it did! And that eperience changed me completely. I went from being outgoing and confident to being a socially anxious hermit with no self-esteem. And it has taken years for me to heal. But I learned a hell of a lot from that experience and I'm not going to make the same mistakes. And I've learned a lot from the relationships I had since then. And now I finally have an understanding of what marriage means. Those traditional marriage vows about "for better, for worse, in good times and bad" have a lot of meaning. To make a marriage work you have to know that there will be bad times and you have to work to get through them. Couples have conflict...there's no getting around that. But there are different ways to handle conflict. And you need good communication. You need to be able to talk about anything and talk about issues that come up in the relationship. You need to remember that your spouse is a person just like you are with emotions and needs and wants. I feel very blessed now because I have found someone who I want to spend my life with and I have no doubt that we can do that. Almost from the beginning of our relationship with have discussed relationships and marriage and how to make them work. We know it will be rough at times and we know it will be work, but we're commited to making it work and last. And we are best friends and lovers...we're partners in all ways. And we're head over heels in love. We have a long road ahead of us and I'm excited to walk down it with him.
ive been with my b/f since feb of 03.. yes we fight sometimes, but we do love each other. the key i belive is communication, and compromise.
I completly agree, just live life as it comes. Love comes when you least expect it, be patient, live and enjoy life. I do beleive in soul mates, and sometimes i cry becasue i cant beleive i have found mine, I cant beileive I have found such an amazing person. He is very open minded,trustworthy,intelligent- hes always teaching me new things,respects nature, he loves traveling and the outdoors,spontanious, free spirted, romantic,he wants to live a simple life, money isn't important to him, and he supports my dreams and goals. We have never gotten into a fight, everything is just so nice and peaceful and not complicated with him. Theres no drama! And there were some hard times we both had to get through but we both helped each other and were both very understanding and we made it out ok. To this day he still takes my breath away and I really think he always will.
I agree with you completely there..I have a freind and everytimewe talk thats all she can seem to think about- fiding the next guy..Asks me if I have bf, whe i reply 'no' she responds with a sympathetic 'awww.' Why does being single or ot persueing guys have to be somethig bad and inhuman? it wrong to be self content these days? I dont get it. I will admit tho, even at my age, marriage is something I dream of a lot. And I want it soon. I dont want to date a whole bunch of guy, and I refuse to go out or become infactuated with anyone I could not see myself with permenantly. I tried explaining my beliefs to some other friends and no one seems to understand it...they look at me bewildered and ask why? they tell me that their plan is to just go out with a ton of guys and have 'fun'..I plan on having fun, but id rather have fun with just one guy. Ive been in one relationship and I gave my all into it, but it ended, and when it did, i had to rearrange the way I thought about relationships and there purposes a lot..I doubt Ill ever do the premarital sex thig again..just..whats the point? If you dont want it to go anywhere, then why even start? I guess my beliefs are rather old fashionned but once again, why is that so bad these days? its more socially acceptable to sell out then stay true to yourself. I KOW theres a guy out there for me, ad ill beready when he finds me.
Honey, I did that for 15 years. And I finally found her 2 years ago. I basically found someone I wanted to be with for the rest of my life, someone like me. Believe me, when you come across him, you'll know. HEY! I just realized I've been PMing you LOL Oh well if you ever meet me and the Mrs. you'll see how well we have worked out. We can go into more detail on that later.
Well, I'm a very happily married mommy of three beautiful, awesome kids. I always knew I wanted to be married and have children, there was never any doubt or hesitation. It was never something I had to "think about". I'm somewhat ashamed to admit this, but when I was a 17 year old senior in high school and dating my (would be) husband at the time who was 21 years old, the only future goal I had was to marry him and have his babies. It's what I wanted. I didn't want to "party", I didn't want to go around the block a bunch of times with numerous people, I wanted a stable, commited relationship with someone I could see myself growing old with. Some thought that I was much too young to be feeling those emotions, those desires, but I didn't care. My husband and I got married when I was 20 and he was 24, and we had our first son a year later. I think that our relationship is stronger, more fulfilling now than it was when we were first married. We feel a much deeper bond, a more mature love, and happily content. We are each other's best friend (which, is also how our relationship started out before we ever became a couple) and I truly believe that we were meant to be. Even he, the skeptical, feels the same. I feel that we were brought together for a reason, and destined to be. Sure, not everyday of marriage is bliss. There are days when you look at that person and are just so irritated with them that you could spit. But, after the irritation lifts, you feel that love again. You feel that comfort, knowing you have someone by your side who loves you for you and will do anything for you. You think about all you've been through together (and we've been through a LOT) and all you have to look forward to in the future as a couple. My husband and I have been through hell and back, and it's made us so much stronger. I love him more now than I did when we first were married. The sex, although maybe not as frequent as before our childless days, is fantastic. He says that it's even better now than it was when we were dating. I agree. Marriage isn't for everyone. If you're more of a free spirit, then it might make you feel tied down, and not content. If you live for the excitment of meeting someone new, how the newness of the relationship is "so exciting", then being married to the same person from here on out might be boring, and you might end up feeling unhappy and restless. But for me, I knew what I wanted. I had witnessed my mother go through far too many heartbreaks after the divorce of my father. From relationship to relationship, the betrayl, the lies, the games of dating, the tears...I felt relieved not to have to deal with any of that. That's not to say that everyone is like that, and dating might be awesome for some people. I wouldn't know really, I mean, I "dated" guys, more like just talked on the phone and kissed occasionally, but the only person I really dated was my husband. All I know is I'm relieved that I'm not out there in the dating world. I'm more than happy to be at home all cozy with my husband and our kids. But a life like that isn't for everyone. Much Peace.
I definitely, absolutely want to be married and have kids. that's been my goal for as long as I can remember. But without the right person, there's no point. The man I'm with right now is definitely the one for me. I connect with him far better than anyone else in my life.... it's like our souls have reached out and met eachother half way. We're currently doing the long-distance thing, which will be done when I graduate in April and move back home. It will be so good to be closer again. We get spoiled in the summer, being able to see eachother all the time. but the fact that we're still going strong, in fact stronger than ever, and we're almost two hours apart from one another, gives me a lot of strength. So what is it about him that makes him the one for me? He's got the wickedest sense of humour... he's very sarcastic and ultra-sharp. He's sponateous, so our relationship never gets boring. He's always been there for me. Even last year, when we had a death in our family that made the bottom fall out of my universe and I was a wreck - he was there, holding my hand the entire time. He's willing to try things he thinks is weird, because he knows I want to. There are so many things we don't have in common (like taste in music and movies) but none of that matters because we both think it makes us more interesting. I had sworn off love, and then I met him. He became my best friend. And then I realized that I loved him... and here we are.
I really lie being single but at the same time I wonder if I like it so much because I didn't like the person I used to be with. If I found the right peson that would be wonderful but I am not going to look for them.
Old thread I know. But still something of interest. The quote above displays some great qualities. Highlighted are the things that I find to be ideal when thinking of a life partner.
as im quite laid back and flexible, i mesh well with a lot of different people. i don't have hang ups and im happy and independent. things i couldn't tolerate would just be lying, selfishness and being unthoughtful. i like a lot of different types of people as i myself am quite a mash up of different things. i could see myself being happy with many different types of people, ultimately it's just can they give me the same things that i'm giving them thats the clincher. unfortunately usually the answer is no.
arggghghhhh, who bumped this thread? it confused the hell outa me, cus i knew tigerlily was married, then i got confused and a bit excited cus i used to have a huge crush on her. anyway, if a thread is 5 1/2 years old, dont mess with my head an leave it burried.
