Married, but Carrying another man's baby? Advice Please help! Opinon's welcome!

yeah, i agree, the wife, my ex friend, is still calling me, and im just not answeing the phone, my husband and i were talking about changing the number, and when we do that, it is going to be a done deal, they live almost 3 hours from us, i dought they will come all the way from there to here, just to see if we are home. Alot of money for gas they dont have

at least that is one good thing, they dont live close.

 

yeah i did try to work with them, and believe me when i say, "i tired"
***sigh*** It was all in vain, cause basically the father of my child told me, if she can't stay with them, then f*ck it, "unqoute his word's!

So the next day when i called her up to find out what they decided, i got
yelled at from some other people i didn't even know, saying i should LEAVE THEM ALONE, well.....who is messing with who now, and that is when i said to whoever it was on the phone, i said, fine, ill leave you alone, then leave us alone.

Now she is calling again, but we arent stating contact again, Im sooo done.
My husband is the only one that can sign as father of this child , even tho he is not the bi-father, we looked into it, for the state of Pa, if the father is married to the carrying mother within any time during her pregnancy, it is automatically the husband's, and he is the only one that can sign under father. unLESS!. proven by the court's, which they dont have no money to fight this, they dont even have money to get out of their tiny little trailer with no clean running water, you think they will fight this in court?
NO, all they have left is empty word's and harrassment.
that is all they have left, and i think they know that.
and im not going to be abused no more, cause it is abuse
word's dont show mark's but they leave mark's on the inside
and they hurt just as much as any wound on your body
and yes im hurting, not only for myself, but most of all for my child
who will someday have to be explained all this, and hopefully understand that
it dont matter where she came from, but that she is loved and wanted
or at least i hope
Good ridden's to those people too.

 

First of all, im not looking for pitty, im only asking advice and comment's on how other's would handle this mess!, Im not playing the victum, cause there is no victum, i told everyone from the begining that it was someone I DID, and i am owning up to that, and 3rd i did try to arange visit's for after the baby is born, and for everyone to have a fair share in the whole deal, cause i believe she has the right to know where she came from, But, they didnt want that
THEY DIDNT WANT THAT, husband told me, that if they coudnt have the child 100% of the time AND have me come visit, then he wanted nothing to do with the baby...YOU THINK THAT IS FAIR? to hell with me, i dont care about me,
i only care about my unborn child, and my children that are already here!

Yes i drank for that, but at that time i didnt realize what kind of people they were so to speak , till the shit really hit the fan!
like that old saying goes? WHEN THE TIME'S GET HARD, YOU REALIZE WHO YOURE FRIEND'S ARE? AND THAT IS EXECTLY RIGHT
i do know who my friend's are..MY HUSBAND!
and no he dont and have never cheated on me, and this swinging 3 some thing will never happen again on my part, i can't even believe i did it in the first place, If you seen how quick these people have turned in a matter of a couple months, from who i thought were my friend's / to people i dont even want to be around anymore, You would understand where i am coming from!

and even tho this will sound nut's, i still do care for them, it is my nature to care about people no matter how they treat me, my husband tell's me all the time, chris you are too nice, and yes, that is true, i am, and i get stepped on everytime too. So no, im not looking for pitty, im just asking everyone else
would cutting tie's? AS WE ARE DOING NOW
THE right thing to do?

When the baby is old enough to understand, i will tell her who her father is
i never planned to leave that out, in fact the baby is getting his last name as a middle name, cause out of all this crazyness, that is one thing me and the babies father did agree on.
And as far as medical history goes, i got all his medical history
from the time i found out i was pregnant, other then blood from the man
i dont need nothing from him.

call it what you like, i call it trying to pick up the peices and move on.

 

i knew about possible heart problems when i first got pregnant when we were all on speaking term's, and when the doctor's took a second look, they found a small defect in our unborn babies heart, so yea, i did get historys ahead of time, and i am responcable, if i wasn't i would have just said, to hell with it and givin up, it take's alot of unner strength to carry this child to term
and i face this everyday of my life, and the only victum here is this baby
cause she had nothing to do with any of this, she is just now here
and i have to do what is best for her as her mother, but being responcible.
it is all i can do, i told everyone, this was a messed up mess
but im trying to clean it up, or so what was left in my plate.
YEAH, your right when you say, they want from sister, to best friend
to trailer trash really quick, But on the other hand
i also went from, A part of there family, to sisters , to a bit&h, a Who7re
a rich B7TCH, AND a worthless peice of sh&t, so before you make judgement's
on fact's you don't know, just ask, cause i know it sound's bad, in realitly, we are so, not a typical that, you could stand next to us in line at the store and never know our story.
The only one who can judge is God, we can only say thing's out of advice or anger.

 

im 28, 26 in my profile was a error on my part, look im not going to fight about this, you can believe what you want to believe, it is only the internet

and im sorry you feel that way, but im not looking for anything from anyone, just advice, and thank's for youre opinon and everyone else for that matter
If i air my dirt on the internet, i should expect what i get in return
I should expect nothing more, nothing less. Thank's for youre advice and opinon's and advice, it was helpful

And this was all a mistake, a Terrible mistake' and just cause someone is
so called (high and mighty) or however you explained it, don't make them perfect, there are COP'S,DOCTOR'S, LAWYER'S AND other kinda's of higher up people who get in a mess, and sometime's even worse, so it doesn't matter what kind of walk of life you come's from to get your self into a hell of a mess
Which i got myself into a hell of a mess, and Yes it is messed up.
but somehow ill make it all work out. Thank you for your time, and Kind word's
ill take this all in great stride, and thank you for helping me see both side's of the picture, it is no picnic on the other couple's side of the fence im sure, we are all sad about this, and one thing is for sure!, No one involved will be the same, No one.

God bless you

 

i do agree with some other postesr that your child has a right to know about her parentage, and before she hits 18 hopefully. dropping a bomb like that could compeltely lfuck her up or change her world at 18, as opposed to growing up knowing that her dad isnt her biological dad due to some past mistakes.

 

I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I understand that we can make bad judgements in the heat of the moment. It appears cutting ties would be the best idea for both your family and your unborn girl.

PS. Don't listen to critics. It's easy to point out the flaws in someone else than turn that laser-sharp criticism onto yourself. As the Tibetans say, "It's easier to point out a flea in someone else's hair than notice the yak sitting on your own nose!"

Peace and love

 

youre a damn fool if you cant recognize the anonymity of hte internet. i dont really undrestand why you feel so insulted by the OPs situation, but just remember that personal attacks are not allowd on this forum (youre not there yet as far as i can tell, but be careful)

 

wow, that is a really intense story. I don't even know what to say except that at the beginnig of the whole ordeal you and your husband had decided this was your child....and it should be. Cathy is only wanting to claim the child for herself not for the child. You seem to have to love for her and she will need a lot of time and attention.

I am sorry that things got so twisty on you and your family. Wow.

 

Once you have a child with someone you are bound to them for life. Your daughter should be allowed to know who her real father is. You and the father need to step up and start thinking about this kid. If you lie now and they take you to court later then it will crush your daughter. It wouldn't be hard for them to get a court ordered blood test either. Regardless of how much money they have you shouldn't deny them his daughter nor should they want to do that to you. The time to think about things like their character has passed.

 

I have talked to the husband and wife, / father of my child, and we had a long convo about everything, i haven't talked to her in over 2 week's, so it was hard to talk to her again, but it had to be done.
After the baby is born, my husband will claim this baby as his own, which
just happen's to be law anyway's, but cathy and her husband agreed that they wouldm't and willn't challage it. That we should be her parent's and that for them to be in her life would be totally out of line, (in their word's)
She explained to me that , it would be hard for them to explain this to their family's, and then afterward's they most likely would hate her husband.
So she told me it is just the best thing to let this all go and let the card's fall where they may, and that they know we will give her a good life.
and that was pretty much it. That is what she wanted to talk to me about.
And even tho this is the end of a friendship, i feel this is a new beginging , but then again, mixed emotion's play a big roll in how i feel. and my husband as well.

 

Take care of that little Angel, that's all that matters.

 

So that ended very well, no more troubles, no more worries. ((-:
Good luck with the baby.

 

Wow. You must hav one hell of a husband to stick by you thru this!Hope it turns out well...

 

i do.

 

The child does not need the confusion of having two daddys and neither do you.

Hopefully the baby will look enough like your husband for the sperm origin not to be questioned.

Sever all ties with the Sperm Donor.

You asked.
Good luck to all of you.

 

thank's, we don't see him anymore, but he does want to know update's on her,
which i shouldn't even do that or at least feel i shouldn't.

This isn't a easy thing to go thru, but i put myself here, and i have no
one to blame but myself. I just now have to make the best with what
has happened, and try to make good on my end of the problem.
That is the adult thing to do anyhow.

 

You NEED to get him to sign away his parental rights. Anything less would be absolutely irresponsible.

So what that they don't have money to fight you now. What about when your baby is 5? 10? 15? You don't know what circumstances they will be under and how they will feel. Just because they say that they think you and your husband should be the sole caregivers now doesn't mean they will continue to think so. Hell, just by what you've told us, that sentiment has flip flopped for your entire pregnancy!

If you don't get him to sign away his rights legally, then you really have no right to complain.

 

Its not good to have relation with them any more forget those idiots and live a peacful life