Masturbation.

Well duh! That's the Catholic dictionary for you. Anyway, what are you trying to prove?

 

If so, then my partners are in deep doo doo.

I love San Fran, other than Vancouver, it is my favorite city I have been to.

 

i know

 

Nothing. I'm just stating a fact that masturbation is sometimes known as "Self-Abuse"

 

self-abuse? wha?

 

Okay, well, whatever. It doesn't matter anyway.

And black: Yes, I LOVE it here!

 

nevermind... I personally call it "Jacking off"

 

the penis song


Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy.
It's divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick.
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,
Your Percy, or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons.
You can slip it in your sock,
But don't take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won't come back.

 

I call it "Jilling off" (props to the first person who gets it! )

 

Jack and Jill went off the hill
to fetch a pail of water...
nobody knew where they went
and they came back with a daughter

 

**applauds**

Yay, Blackie!!!

 

Jack at Jill went up the hill with a buck and a quarter each
Jill came down with two fifty....slut.

A crass childhood rhyme I remember.

Mary had a little lamb, boy was she surprised....

 

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, 'Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air hole at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink.' They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, 'Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore.' At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him.
'Look', she said, 'I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen!'

 

To masturbate is to...

Jack off
Wack off
Wank off
Shake hands with Mr. Happy D)

 

Vanilla Pudding

Once inside the bank, just after midnight, their efforts at disabling the alarm system got underway immediately.
The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash and valuables,
were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank.
The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, but inside they found only a small bowl of vanilla pudding.
As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, "At least we'll have a bit to eat."
The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding.
The process continued until all of the safes had been opened.
They did not find even one pound sterling, not a single diamond, nor an ounce of gold.
Instead, every one of the safes contained little, covered bowls of pudding.
Disappointed, they made a quiet exit, leaving with nothing more than queasy, uncomfortably full stomachs.

The newspaper headline read:

IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING !

 

eeeeeeew....

 

The question I have, is were you able to walk afterwards? Seriously, I couldn't imagine jerking off 5-7 times in a day, much less 16. You must feel like you're on a cloud after that many orgasms

Happy Masturbating, Alex