My daughter just came out... Advice needed!

It's all staying, Glen.

Fuck the rules. I didn't make them.

Just an aside for anyone who is keeping records, I'm Pansexual.

 

I'm not lesbian, but I was compelled to answer your question.

Just love her. Accept her unconditionally for who she is. She's still the same sweet baby you gave birth to and always will be. Just remember that and you will be fine. Both of you.


LOVE IS LOVE!!!!

 

I understand your difficult position as a mod in this.

It's a dilemma no matter how you turn it.
The nature of the post falls in this Forum but is also much broader.

You wrote in your previous post that this is a section for Lesbians and Lesbian supporters only.
It sounds like a good rule to me :2thumbsup:.

 

I understand Aeri. I don't get why the opinions of all interested parties are not wanted. Because I pee standing up doesn't disqualify me from being concerned about the feelings of a young person attempting to find out who she/he is in this world concerning their sexuality or any other issue that is important to them. If it happens that some dumb-asses that show disrepect for lesbianism--it's part of forum life and could be dealt with by rational posters. This is not directed AT you Aeri---just directed at whomever thinks this ONE area needs to be exclusive.------Joel


Edit= Regarding lively girls post-I am a supporter-obviously.

 

You could direct your question to Skip. I have no idea. All the forum rules were in place before I came.

 

I only expressed my view and challenged yours without any personal attacks.
You called me an idiot, an asshole and are being quite rude. Perhaps you should get used to the fact, that some people have different views than you do.

I'm sure that having respect for your kid and their understanding of life is a part of parenting as well. Explaining the reasons for your demands is an important part of it too.

PS: I'm not sure whether Desos is banned from the thread or not. If he is, then this post is irrelevant.

 

There we go. Dipshit dealt with properly.

 

Yeah, you have the right to agree or disagree with something. I was going to ignore your post - I don't usually waste my time with people who think I'm wrong. Yet, this sentence just pissed me off.

You'd discipline her? Yep.. that's the caring, supportive father I always wished I had. What better way to scare your child into conforming to what you feel is right, than to discipline her for the person she may, or may not be. That's just great.

 

this is not just a lesbian or woman issue. This is about humanity. We all want compassion and love. Coming out can be as traumatic as many difficulties in life.

At age 13, with sexuality emerging, give her a hug, and tell her she's brave. Remind her also that she has much to learn about as she matures. Just as we encourage them to be open minded, we also can encourage being traditional if that is what she encounters later.

 

All the supportive answers are really great. I hope the OP comes back to read them.

 

easy fix

>>moved to family issues section

 

Why? What needed fixed? Looked to me like everything was going fine. Did you bother to read my posts?

 

I don't think that you telling them they are not going to be gay will change their mind. It would be like me telling you that you are going to be gay. What I say and for sure what you say will not matter. But not loving your child because of a lifestyle change is totally wrong. Good parents would support their children and help them understand their feelings.

 

The OP did a good job finding the Lesbian section. She said she hoped it was placed correctly.

I think the Family Issues section is even better.

 

wrong


it was posted in intros and i thought it would be better in the lesbian forum

 

lol

Well, at least she knew to come to HFs for some opinions...I think we've got her in the right place now.

 

Well I'm not an parent,but I can give you some advice (I hope so)

1. I think its somehow questionable,wait a couple of more years it could be just an phase.
2. Just support her and don't get in her way. (if it's not harming her)
3. Can't help
4. Let them they are going to do it someday anyway
5. Just let her be herself and don't try to convince her otherwise also don't let those religious freaks to even talk to your daughter they will just mess her up,also don't say anything to anyone about your daughters sexual orientation until you are 100 % sure it is true.

 

At that age I didn't think about my sexual identity because I didn't think of sex. I don't know if I genuinely wasn't attracted to anyone or if I was just in deep denial about being sexual at all because of my upbringing. Yeah, at that age, it could be a phase, but it might not be. Just love your daughter and don't try to change her. Aside from phases, a lot of people have a fluid sexuality. Where for a period of their life they may be asexual, then they might be attracted to men, and then women. Some people just somehow know they're gay from childhood (for me this is a foreign concept just because it was so far from my experience, but that doesn't mean it can't happen) and some people don't know until later. I didn't even start thinking about how I identified sexually or what my gender was until the past couple of years, and I'm 24.

Don't worry about sleep overs. Just because she likes one gender doesn't mean that she'll jump on any girl she comes across. Let her go like you normally would. Be supportive of her by continuing to love her and not acting weird around her. Be there for her if she needs to talk, and let her know you are. You can ask her questions, but not too many and not ones that she'll feel like you're trying to condemn her if she answers wrong.

 

Perhaps Desos should read about the church pastor that just apologized to gays for running that program that attempted to "fix" gay people. He now realizes that he was wrong.