My Mental History.

My doctors are playing this game with me where they say that I obviously have Cerebral Palsy, but they won't admit it. One of my doctors said if he saw some boy ahead of him in a supermarket walk the way I did as a child, he'd know. He wouldn't even have to do any tests. And I wonder if those two EEG's I had in 1986 didn't prove it. (How sensitive were EEG's in 1986? Anyone know?) And I've also been told it's obvious I am autistic. I can't look people in the face no matter how hard I try.

Anyways, whatever else it going on, I won't rest until I get those two statuses. Cerebral Palsy and autism. And any other diagnosis I deserve. I agree I need a little help. I don't deny that. Because that way I can get all the benefits I deserve and the correct status in life too. Instead living a lie like I have for over 50 years.

 

I still can't get over that sham trial I was forced to attend, in the Summer of 1992. I might as well say. I think it was in the Frank Murphy Hall of Justice in downtown Detroit. It was the middle of the day, it was a packed courtroom. And the judge and my lawyer, and whoever else was there, was acting silly. My court appointed attorney got on the witness stand. And he said, yes I saw him wearing plastic gloves. And yes, I agree death could result.

What would anyone here think if you went to a trial like that? I mean it was a civil commitment proceedure. And I think it was the only time I was ever in a courtroom. Well, I did take a field trip to a court house. Ironically the Frank Murphy Hall of Justice with my 8th grade class in 1981. And nothing like that happened then.

Does that happen often in court houses? Mock trials where everyone acts silly? Has anyone here ever seen that? What did you think? Or were you in on the joke?

 

As I've said, I need this nonsense to end right now. I can't take that Olanzapine even one moment more, let alone for the rest of my life. One candy bar makes my feet ache. I've got serious problems. Much more serious than even my doctors are letting onto. I now know I've had Type II Diabetes and neuropathy since the hair loss on the bottom of my legs. That's at least 15 years. And I've been misdiagnosed in many other ways. I've had Cerebral Palsy and autism all my life. Like that doctor said, it was obvious to onlookers right from the start. Why would my doctors not be able to see it? I have extreme weakness in my limbs. I can't even lift 75 pounds. I need to be physically protected always, I'll need special treatment for complications due to aging from it before long. And my legal guardian is wrong, that is not funny. He laughed about it more than once, my being abused and neglected with Cerebral Palsy as an old man. I'll remember more of that if you want. But he did. And that court thinks he should be my legal guardian? I need him as trustee because I have no choice. I know he thinks that's my fault and wants to walk away. But I still need his help and have to deal with him. I wish it was different too, but I have no choice. People are not supposed to be forcibly medicated in the US if the medicine is harming them. Even people who are a danger like sex offenders are protected in that. But I am not a danger to anyone. I'm a very good person, really better than most. And if that court ever wants to debate that for any reason, I gladly will. And I am not suicidal. People like that court and the grade school I went to, and that hospital I went to in 1988 and 9, and my psychiatrist too, drove me to feel the unbearable pain would never end, and then said I was morally weak because they drove me to desperation. I will keep saying that and repeating all I know with that over and over again, the list of all that I know, till the day I die. So everyone will always know my argument, no matter how I am denied access to our justice system. And people view and treat me differently, and I am different in their eyes. They want to take away my car even though I am a very good driver. Even though they knew right from the start I'd lose everything that way, all medical consent and all ability to take care of my most basic needs. And it how dangerous it would be to live in where I do without a car. They knew that, in fact I think it may have even been deliberate. And then they teased me with people like that doctor and that policeman who said people are so much happier without cars. Because that is how they view and treat people with mental illnesses and intellectual disabilities, whichever they thought I had. Those are my three main arguments, and I will keep repeating them for the rest of my life. They will always be my legal arguments.

And BTW, I left a message with a nearby diabetic wound care center in Southfield, MI. And it does look like they called back. But I need my landline repaired because I keep my smartphone in another room or sometimes in the closet. And both my phones are charging, right now. So I need things repaired, I need bills paid (and the lady who used to help me with that we can't get ahold of, my legal guardian, who is now in charge of that isn't very dependable in any way, even in an emergency as I've said) and I need therapy for my feet and wounds. I need these things now. I can't wait for that court to end it's reckless mismanagement of my case, I can't wait for my legal guardian to get over his bruised feelings, I can't wait for that lady's replacement. I have things that need to be dealt with now. Whatever anyone else is doing or is preoccupied with, I have these immediate concerns. And no one is helping with them at all.

 

My legal guardian can't be allowed to just walk away as trustee. He shouldn't be my legal guardian because he misuses that power, everything he and others do that way is done in secret, and I think he was nonchalantly trying to get me sent to prison before. He thinks people with Cerebral Palsy being abused in senior retirement homes is funny. And I am the only person who thinks he shouldn't be my legal guardian? Everyone else is okay with that? But if he just walked away as trustee I'd be homeless eventually. Some of my bills and business wouldn't be done almost immediately. I agree I need a little help, and I need him as trustee. But he's exploiting and harming me a guardian. That has to be ended, and that has to stop. But I will always need him as trustee. Though I don't like it either, like he says.

 

Just to repeat, I am not going to back down or rest until I get the status of Cerebral Palsy and autism, and whatever else I have. I might also be borderline intellectually handicapped. I don't know. I still think I'm somewhere in the normal range and I am highly functional. Plus some of my abilities seem better than others. And most of my problems, even if they are intellectual, seem to be with social skills. Which I think can make my intelligence sometimes seem lower than it is. That, and that I am very trusting of people. I am going to keep bringing up the issue of my car too. People in the past have told me that that is no big deal and I should just let them take my car away even though I am a very good driver. That is a very big issue. My independence, my medical consent, my safety and everything else depends on it. And the fact some people still think (starting in the early 2000's, and at least since 2013) that it's no big deal shows what is very wrong with this situation and how people view and treat me. And I am not a suicide risk. I never have been because there was never a point in my life when I wanted to die. I just didn't want to lose all quality of life or be in unbearable pain that would never end. And the people in my life started making me think that. Starting in grade school in the 6th grade. And then when I was subjected to extreme psychological abuse at that hospital for over a year from July, 1988 to September, 1989. The night that all began, July 6, 1988, was the first time in my life that I ever seriously considered suicide. And then my doctor drove me to my suicide attempt July 16, 1989, when I obviously didn't want to die. He drove me by what he did in his office July 8th, making me think he was part of an international conspiracy that meant me harm and wanted to put me in Northville psychiatric hospital for the rest of my life. Where I not only would experience unbearable akathisia pain that would never end, but where I would be subjected to something even worse, I was led to believe (just like they said in September of 1989, as I left that program at that hospital). And then when my psychiatrist did all of this, he told me that he thought I was immature and morally weak, because he drove me to attempt suicide.

Also, I got a letter recently from someone. It said someone still thinks I am spending too much. I don't believe that is true. I am spending much less. Someone who works for me even said, with a pause, that he thought I was spending much less. So my spending too much seems to be an issue here, or people are trying to make it into one still. I am a little confused by that. If that man is my legal guardian, and my doctors tell me he is. He is not just my conservator. They told me he is "listed" as my "guardian". Not just conservator, even. Shouldn't he have to spend whatever it takes to take care of me? He lives in an affluent suburb of Detroit. He also tells me he wants to take away my car because it is expensive, even though he obviously can easily afford the insurance. I have explained to him more than once how dangerous it would be not to have a car where I live, and how I would lose everything. But last that I heard, he still might do it someday. I don't know, but I think there more to my car than just cost. I think it is a bargaining chip. It is being to used to prove I am not independent. And it is being used to take away my medical, and other consent. That is all if ever was, I think. Because is all started around 2004 or 5. There is nothing that happened then involving my driving record or ability. So what else could it be? As I said, everyone is involved in this nonsense to convince me I shouldn't have a car, because I am lower than intellect than even I think and it's silly that I think someone like me should even be allowed to drive in Michigan. The police and paramedics have said this and several of my doctors, starting around 2004. And my neighbors started complaining about this (for separate reasons someone told me, but around the exact same time). I can see my neighbors are often driving around in banged up cars, and cars with tail lights missing. And 60% of people in Detroit don't even bother to buy auto insurance. So I wonder why someone is listening to my neighbors with their ridiculous argument that I should lose me license even though I am a very good driver, but overlooking all those things.

 

BTW, my legal guardian texted me in the morning December 5th:

"I have blocked your email. I will correspond with you by phone call or mail only. I will still help you. Please get professional help."

 

Also, the damage in my feet is permanent. My doctors admit at least to that much. And it's not getting better. It might be getting worse. I can still do things like live at home by myself, walk and drive. But I don't know if that will be the case forever. And I now know my problems may be complicated as I age due to Cerebral Palsy. And my doctors finally are admitting again, I still have neuropathy. Even though they claimed at one point it was all gone. One day I may need a car with hand controls. And my legal guardian doesn't even want to pay for my car insurance, even though he' got a lot of money.

Nobody wants to help me, nobody wants to take responsibility for what they've done to me. And people like my legal guardian are disgusted and think they are the real victim here, not me. I'm going to need money, I'm going to need things like a car and nice home too, some day. I'll need a home where my two cats can live with me, and that is handicapped accessible, if I need that. Which would be hard if my doctors won't even admit I have Cerebral Palsy. I'll probably need more money some day. And a lot more help. And for my doctors and legal guardian to stop trying manipulate the situation to their advantage and claim they're the victims here. Like I said early on, maybe if someone who provides legal aid or wanted to take my case could help me. Or maybe even criminal restitution. That would be free for me, as I said once. Or maybe if people in my life would stop fooling around and accept some responsibility, and try to help me for a change. But it doesn't look like that's ever going to happen at this point.

 

Also, if I'm going to be treated for neuropathy, diabetes and complications of Cerebral Palsy due to aging, I'm going to have to be able to trust my doctors. And my legal guardian (though I doubt I ever will, his side of the family always looked down on mine). It's been over a year. And me and my doctors, and legal guardian, are still in joking mode, adversarial mode, lying mode, denying mode. And my legal guardian seems to think I should say I don't have Cerebral Palsy and he's not my legal guardian, even though I know that's true and I can't unlearn it. And I don't know where to go for therapy or help. When I went to that clinic in July, I wasn't there to be helped like I thought. I was there to have information gathered on me. I guess they may have never been planning on helping me. I need therapy and wound care now. And it's hard for me to get stuff done. I have to focus on what's important. And my health and welfare and not losing my limbs or going blind from diabetes don't seem to be the priority of anyone in my life. I'd turn to someone for advice and help. But everyone is still joking or lying to me. And like I said, my legal guardian says he feels like he's the victim here. And he just wants to move on, and let me become homeless like I would without his help anyways.

 

You know, , sometimes I think about that boy from my 8th grade who got homicidal when other boys thought about him. I'll bet he sometimes wondered what happened to me. Last he heard, I was about to receive mandatory counseling for note passing. But nothing came of that. And you know, unlike the 80's, we have the internet. So the whole world is interconnected. So he may very well be following what's happened to me since then. And did he ever wonder what became of me? Now he knows.

 

Like I said, people have been viewing and treating me differently throughout this situation. My psychiatrist told me in 1993 he thought my driving was wonderful idea and fully supported it. Then around 2004 he started telling me he wondered if it was such a good idea someone like me was allowed to drive. Then it seemed he thought maybe I could barely read. And my neighbors around this time started acting like they thought I had the mind of a child. A man used to come to my door to beg thought I didn't even know who shoveled my snow. Even often after I did, and was putting the shovel away just as he arrived. Other doctors said they were surprised I even got a driver's license. They asked me how a person like me was allowed to have one. Are you sure it's even a real license, they started asking me. And the judge I reached out to in that court late last year, who I begged for help from, sent me an email reply. He teased me and told me he didn't know what I was taking about. And he called my legal guardian my "brother", even though my legal guardian is not. He knew I was at great danger from the Olanzapine, that it was damaging me permanently. He also knew the great danger I would be in if I lost my car where I lived, because I told him. But in all his email replies he just continued to tease me and make fun of me. Because like my legal guardian, he thought it was all funny somehow.

 

Like I said, if that clinic I went to in July was violating a patient's rights in any way, especially some way that was illegal, I think they should be held accountable. If they were following a court order or something like that, that's different of course. And I am not saying that to be cruel. A medical clinic should never take part in the abuse of a patient, or anyone, under any circumstances. It's just wrong no matter how you look at it, and people in the medical field should know that.

It's just like I was telling people, when I went there their attitude seemed rather odd. They seemed so nice and helpful. Nothing really out of the ordinary. Then almost immediately one of my doctors told me they were lying to me. I still definitely have neuropathy. So I guess I was only there for others to gather information about me. Even though I really have to start some kind of therapy now. (My doctor told me that the benefits of the therapy they were offering at that clinic are debatable. So maybe there's no point in getting that kind of therapy. But if it, or any therapy, can help, I need to start it now. I don't have time for any nonsense.)

 

I really don't know if people actually didn't notice the funny way I walked early one, and other things too. I thought growing up I was just different, but not mentally ill or handicapped. I only found out in 2011 when I was already 42 that I had been diagnosed with some mental illness or disability at age 7.

I know my friend across the street said that he didn't notice anything odd in the way I walked and neither did anyone else. But I remember I noticed that when I walked, the bottoms of my feet kept hitting the floor flat sometimes. Like Frankenstein in the Sheena Easton video "Telefone":



I also know that my doctors keep denying that I have Cerebral Palsy. Then they claim I do, then they deny it. I don't know what that is all about. I must keep bringing up that fact and I must not rest until I am given that status. I must keep bringing up that fact and the fact that the abuses of the mental health system in Michigan is all that led to my two suicide attempts, nothing else. And I must keep bringing up my car and how people were trying to unjustly take it away from me, even though they knew how dangerous that would be for me.

 

Like I said, I recently got a letter claiming I am spending too much. Someone is obviously planning something by saying I am still spending too much. I think I am controlling my spending at least a little better now. And the fact they said that in that letter I got shows they are using that claim against me in some way. Probably to take away my freedom in some way or limit my consent or rights in some way. I don't know if I am intellectually impaired in some way. But I'm not stupid, and I know when someone is planning something. And I will keep bringing that up now. Not as part the official three things I am going to be bringing up now for the rest of my life. I haven't decided. But I am going to expose them, and make sure everyone knows. Even in a place like a group home I'd lose all medical consent. And I'd be at the mercy of whatever reckless thing that court is doing or planning in my life at that moment. And so I won't let that court or anyone else do that. And, to repeat. It have obviously had Cerebral Palsy all my life. And things like autism. It was obvious from things like the way I walk and those EEG's I had in 1986. People like that court allowed me to be misdiagnosed and denied things like help and treatment and protection from people like that boy in the 8th grade. I am not suicidal. I have never been suicidal even once in my life. I just didn't want to be in unbearable pain for the rest of my life and lose any chance of any quality of life. And people like that court led me to believe that was the only option, either thru their action, or their inaction, by not protecting me from people like that school, and many other people too. And people were, and as far as I know still are, endangering my life and safety by trying to take away my car. Even though they know I am a very good driver, and even though they know how dangerous it would be to live where I do without a car. It shows how little they care about me, it shows how they view and treat me differently, and it shows everything that is wrong with this situation. And it shows everything that is wrong with this situation if anyone is still trying to do that and stil thinks it is no big deal.

 

You know, a person like me wouldn't fare very well in a place like prison. I'd never be able to defend myself against other prisoners, or prison guards for that matter, because of my Cerebral Palsy. Plus I'm handicapped, liberal and gay. Those three people aren't very popular in prison, I've heard. They aren't very popular in mental hospitals now either where I live. Because mental hospitals only take the most violent and the people with little or no conscience now. And Detroit group homes are very nice from what I understand. The also take the most violent of the most violent, the most poor of the most poor, the worst of every group. And they lock the doors there. Because they have to.

As I said, as far as I know my legal guardian is still trying to maneuver the situation to get me sent to one, along with the person who sent me that letter. You know, a legal guardian is supposed to look after you best interests. It doesn't sound like he and the others are doing that. But I think I'll just wait, and keep bringing up those three points until something happens.

 

Some people in my life tell me they may have to drop me if I continue to criticize them in anyway. People who work for me and doctors. But I can't afford to lose anyone now. If I lost a doctor or anyone else, I'd have to find a new one. And it wouldn't be easy to do on my own. And plus when I send people emails, they just ignore me and they don't return my phone calls. The most recent clinic I was reaching out to find a psychiatrist there was supposed to contact me. They never did. They were also going to help me out with other services. But they never returned my calls. They just ignored me again. And so did the first psychiatrist I reached out to after my psychiatrist of 32 years dropped me recently. In fact the receptionist there was very rude with me even, even though we never met.

I need psychiatrist now. I need other services too and I can't afford to lose a doctor or anyone else. I could try reaching out to another psychiatrist's office. But what would be the point? They'd just ignore me too. I'll probably just give up on the idea as anyone would in my situation. I need people to help me, we all do. But no one seems to want to. And even when I make an effort to reach out to them, they just ignore me. And how is that my fault?

 

I went today to that place for diabetic wound care. I had an appointment at 2:30 PM, but I got there at about 3. (I have to stop making an effort to be on-time for people who just aren't there to help me. It's wasted time, effort and resources on my part. And I'm sorry to be blunt. But they just don't deserve it and aren't worth it.) I got this female doctor, I forget her name. (The office of my PCP wants her name for some reason. She, the doctor I saw today, did say I should go back on Gabapentin to treat some of my symptoms.) The assistant who saw me first was acting a little odd, and a little suspicious. She photographed my wounds on my left leg with a smartphone. And then measured the wounds, like she was gathering evidence almost. I even asked her about it. The doctor said she saw no wounds on my feet. I said, well they are healing. But they are obviously wounds. She said no. They are just capillary blood vessels that burst on the surface of your legs. It's quite harmless. (Actually now that I think of it, my other doctor said something similar about 15 years ago when he saw it. I was not harmless. I had Type II Diabetes and neuropathy even back then.) I asked, can you treat me? She said, well no. Not if there's nothing wrong with you I can't. Good bye. I also asked if maybe some therapy, like ultrasound or massage would help me. She repeated what my other doctors said. That there is not proof those work. (I've been lied to so much lately. I do wonder if that is even true. I don't know what nonsense is going on now. But I need therapy now. Wound care for my diabetic wounds. And therapy for my neuropathy in my feet. It doesn't matter if my legal guardian or that court is planning on putting me away somewhere. Wherever I am, I'll still need my legs and feet.) Then she said, well, it sounds to me like your problems are simple back problem. I told her, I don't have a simple back problem. She said, yes you do. I said, no I don't. She said, yes you do. Etc. Then I left the office with they both telling me there is no help to give me, if I am perfectly all right. They did put a large dressing on the largest wound.

My diabetic wounds on my legs aren't healing. I was getting some results with Vaseline and a band aid. But now I have been told to not even do that. If they don't heal they may never heal. This is getting very serious. And I don't care what nonsense is going on now. I need therapy as soon as possible. Even I know that the sooner I get therapy, the better things will be for me. Maybe not other people in this situation. But me. And I did nothing to deserve any of this anyways. I am a very good person. And I was reading online that the medical profession should never hurt anyone. They should always be there to help. And if a drug therapy is causing harm, it must be stopped. Even if by court order. And I am pretty sure someone is slipping something into my other medicines. It just seems like I am back to my old dose of Olanzapine, even though I am not.

 

Also, about 15-20 years ago, when I started having the hair loss on the bottom of my legs, my doctors told me my blood sugar and A1C were both wonderful. Better than average even. No they weren't. They were both probably pretty bad by then. Not only were they withholding information from me, but they were lying to me in the worst way. If I only knew what was going on, I would taken some steps to do something. I would have made the necessary medical decisions how to deal with what that Mellaril and Olanzapine were doing to my body. And that Mellaril, it didn't really do anything for me. It has little or no akathisia associated with it. (Even though around 1993 I did notice some noticeable akathisia with it. I told my psychiatrist about that. And he said that was impossible.) But Mellaril has little or no akathisia associated with it. So I saw no reason not to comply with taking it. Something I now regret, to be honest. But it really doesn't do much of anything. Good or bad, really. It's like taking a sugar pill, really. I don't know what it does for other people. They don't have the problems I do. Cerebral Palsy, Schizotypal Personality Disorder, and a couple of other things. Of course, Olanzapine did help me, when that court, the police and all those other people drove me to attempt suicide those two times (which I will never stop repeating, as I said). But it brought me to a plateau I am still. There is no reason for me to take it. And no one should be slipping it in my other meds. I feel fine, I'm not depressed, I have no behavioral issues. I never did. And that court thinks they know better than me, even better than my doctors, what medical treatment I need? They definitely don't.

 

Another thing, if this secret guardianship thing is because I am non-compliant, nothing could be further from the truth. If anything in my life, I have been too compliant. I have gone along with ever ridiculous thing anyone has ever said or done to me. I even allowed a lot the abuse more than I should have. And starting in 1992, I knew how ridiculous and pointless it was to start taking those psychiatric drugs again. I don't know why I went along with that. I really shouldn't have. And, I agree I need help. I have emotional issues and Cerebral Palsy. Autism and problems with focus and memory and attention. I might even be intellectually handicapped. I don't know. I was deprived of oxygen at birth. Now I was always correct about that, even going back to 1991. Even though no one told me. But I think I am in the normal range. At least borderline, I think. Plus there are different sections to the IQ test. I might score differently on different parts of it.

Also, I don't know what it's like in other countries. But in the US, our education system is very dumbed down. Almost everyone passes high school and college now. That wasn't the case before. But you can't get a good job in the US without a college, or at least high school, diploma. Plus our text books here a different from what they used to be. For everyone. I saw some high school and college text books when I was young. The print now is much larger. And there are pictures in them. Real text books, like in Harvard or Yale, wouldn't have pictures in them. Maybe a graph though. And probably in the back of the book. I think there is a lot more variation in human intelligence than people realize. Even in one family, from what I understand. Some members of a family are very low in IQ, even thought there is nothing medically wrong with them. I don't know what all of that is about. But some humans are just naturally low in IQ. And, according to a psychology class I took in community college in 1995, it's enough to have them classified as intellectually disabled, if they can't handle things like their finances and other things.

 

This nonsense, that I am too retarded to drive, began around 2004. (Telling me that although I may hold that status of a genius, but am or appear to intellectually handicapped, began in 1989.) People started telling. I looked too low in intelligence to them to drive.

My psychiatrist started it too. (When I first saw him, I did share some essays I wrong on math and science. And I quoted some Shakespeare I memorized for him. He seemed to think I was low in intelligence when we first met, I noticed. So I just sharted that. In case he didn't know my case and so he'd know.) But he basically started telling me. I could barely read or count. Should someone like me be driving even? I said, well I have a good record, a valid license and I am a very good driver. Yes, he said. But he was still concerned. Then he'd drop it, saying he agreed it was all silly. Then a couple years later he'd tell me, he was still thinking about it. (I may have gotten some minor brain damage with that Haldol I took in 1984. And I noticed right away, I couldn't seem to read as fast as I once did. Something seemed wrong. But I can still read street signs in a glance. Even if they are a paragraphy long, and even if I am seeing them for the first time.) And other doctors and medical staff soon joined in. Some of them are very far from my house. And my legal guardian would never even take me to my closest doctors in Southfield. I told people. How could I take the bus? We really have no bus service in Detroit. And I'd have to take a bus to the western/southern most part of Detroit. Then start taking the SMART Bus service, which I don't think I ever have. Well, people told me, it can be done. But I don't have to, felt like telling them. I am a good driver and I drive. I'd tell one doctor's office I was about to go out there. They'd say, wait. Are you sure you should? Should drive out here? Someone like you? Driving? And my staff member there once brought me a form to fill out. Now let me read it to you carefully, she told me. She thought I couldn't even read. I told my therapist about that at the time. He said, well there's not much you can do in that situation. Maybe read something intelligent or very academic in their waiting room. Like Principia Mathematica, he recommended. And there's more to it than that. I was talking with that doctor and assistant at that clinic yesterday. They said, you had Type II Diabetes and neuropathy back then, basically. You couldn't be walking around in the winter like that, waiting for a bus in Detroit, that never came. You'd lose a toe for sure, she explained. People back then knew they were endangering my health by doing that. They knew how dangerous it would have been to live in Detroit without a car. They knew my life as I knew it, my independence and medical consent, would all be gone if I lost my car. And they didn't care. I think they were doing it on purpose. As a clever bargaining chip. That's what I thought from the start. And I still do. And my neighbors want care taken away because they think I have the mind of very small child. Who told them that? And of my doctors thinks certain groups shouldn't be driving. This is the US, I should tell him. I don't know how they handle that in the country you're from. But here in the US, the mentally ill and intellectually handicapped can drive. Accept it. And he will bring it up again some day. I know he will. So will my legal guardian. The way he responded when I said he was still planning it (it was "utter nonsense") shows. I know what that means. It means he still may some day. He will.

No, taking away my car shows all that is wrong in this situation. It shows all that is very, very wrong. That doctor above thought the subject embarrassed me. I don't know who told him that. I just wasn't sure what the legal status was of intellectually handicapped people in the US, and if they could drive. I am not even sure exactly of my intellectual and legal status. But that court, and people like those doctors and medical staff listed above, knew how dangerous it would be for me to be without a car. They knew my life would be in danger where I lived, and that I'd lose everything that way. And that will always be my argument. For the rest of my life, and long after someone lies to me by telling this legal guardian nonsense is all over with. And even if it were some day over with, I will always make it my mission in life to make sure the world knows what that court did to me with all of that. And that they drove me to suicide, and then said it was all my fault. And that they knew early on that I had Cerebral Palsy. But they still misdiagnosed me, and didn't protect me from people like that boy in my 8th grade. And they threatened me jail too, for something I didn't even do. Because they thought they were teaching me some sick moral lesson that way. And driving me to desperation and thoughts of suicide again. Certainly they knew they must have been. And they still didn't care.

I am going be repeating those three things for the rest of my life. To everyone and everywhere I go. Someone try and stop me.

 

That psychiatrists' office did just called. I'm enrolled and they're waiting for my intake appointment. I guess I'll call tomorrow or next week.