My Mental History.

I have diabetic wounds on my legs, not feet BTW. But my feet are strange in their appearance. A strange color, and they are sensitive to some sensations, like pain, but not others. I don't know what that all means. But I want treatment now. Now I know who's lying and I know what needs to be done.

 

You know I am also careful not to give any information that could indirectly identify people like my doctors. I see many doctors, and most in just one city. And many of my doctors take up the same task, like (to use a silly example) my nose. If I say that I got nose medicine from one doctor, it could be almost any of them. But I'm still always careful.

 

And I need all my doctors now. My mother carefully chose most of my original doctors, and then I had them recommend who they thought was best to replace them. I'd have a hard time finding a new doctor now if I had to, for any reason. I'm old too, and I'm preoccupied with other things too.

 

BTW, I'm sure no one is slipping anything into my food, water, medicine or whatever. But my symptoms are very weird, like for the past couple of weeks. I'll have to have that looked into. And I may talk about my symptoms here from time to time. Because they are very weird now, as I said.

 

"Everyone has the right to rest and leisure, including reasonable limitation of working hours and periodic holidays with pay."

UN Universal Declaration of Human Rights, 1948.

 

I've also noticed hair loss on the top of my legs for some time now. This obviously means something. Like I said, if I knew about the Type II Diabetes and neuropathy in my feet and legs 20 years ago, I would have at least said something. And gotten more people involved. I don't even know what is going on now, I just know the damage is permanent. And the people who caused it should take responsibility for what they did. They should make sure I always have a car and can use it. And they should make sure I never go to a place like a group home where I would lose all medical consent. And like I said, I've had frequent urination since age 9. My teachers noticed it in the 8th grade and told me to see a doctor. And the people at that school still abused me. That gym teacher wouldn't let me use the restroom even when she was told that I had frequent urination. They didn't protect me from people like that boy in the 8th grade. And they let people like my best friend in grade school severely abuse me psychologically.

 

I a doctor's office recently. And the receptionist brought up a good point. Why aren't I seeing a psychiatrist now, and will I ever see one again in the future? I don't know. I don't know why I was seeing one to begin with. They only hurt me, damaged me permanently, left with me with permanent damage in my feet and Type II Diabetes that I will have now for the rest of my life. And shortened my life too. Took away years from my life that I will never get back. And why? It was never necessary. There are people where it is justified in sometimes. There are a danger to others, or sometimes just themselves. But that was never the case with me. I'm a very good person, I've never even been in jail. And look what they still did to me. And now I am trying to work with everyone, like I always did. And it's still getting me nowhere. I'm being ignored and no one is accommodating my needs now that I am becoming an old man with Cerebral Palsy, and the damage they did to is probably catching up to me too.

I guess I will still have to work with people and the system. What choice do I have? But I'm never going to do it with that kindhearted approach I used to have anymore. And if someone harms me, or starts any of that nonsense again in the future, I will report them. In fact I'll do that right from the start. Because obviously I will have to just assume the worst this time. I may not even know the harm they are doing to me till years later. And I have no one to give me advice now. But I do have those three talking points, that fate or whoever showed me. I was driven to suicide there was no other reason why I ever even thought of it. I do have Cerebral Palsy and people should have known early on that I did. And yet they neglected me, failed to protect me, exploited me, and harmed me, with things like those psychiatric drugs. And even know they continue to do that, neglect and harm me, and ignore me too. By not giving me the status of Cerebral Palsy, by not doing things like treating my diabetic wounds. And by creating an atmosphere of lies and mistrust, and then blaming it all on me. Even though I did absolutely nothing wrong. And lastly, the fact that they are still trying to take my car away shows everything that is wrong with this situation. That people have too much power over me, that they don't, and still don't, care about my wellbeing. And that they view me and treat me differently.

I don't know where my life and all of this is going now. I will always need a little help, and my guardian is still blaming me and trying to dump me even now. And I don't even know what my future prognosis of my health in general. I think it might be worse than even my doctors will tell me. But at least I will always have those three talking points. That, and also my tendency to give out more information and tell more people when I feel threatened. Which I think is the only thing that saves me sometimes.

 

And I just talked to a doctor's office recently. They said that EEG's in 1986 weren't sensitive enough to detect Cerebral Palsy. That's interesting. But it was still obvious from other things. The way I walked, my handwriting, my frequent urination since age 9, the fact even the girls in grade school were stronger than me. And I obviously had autism too.

I wonder how that all fits together. I need the status of Cerebral Palsy now. For my benefit, for my protection, for any special treatment I need when I'm older. Especially now that the physical damage is permanent. And I could get better benefits that way too.

I'll always need some help. I guess I might have no choice but to stick with having a guardian. But I want to be made a full participant in everything in my life. And I want that man watched. I'm sorry but he leaves me with little choice. But I will get the status of Cerebral Palsy. It is one of the three things fate has told me about. Just fate, no one else. But it must be important for some reason.

 

I woke up this morning. And my mouth is incredibly dry. Possibly more so today than ever before. I just had three 8 oz. glasses of water this morning. And then I waited five minutes after my last two glasses of water just now, just to make sure. And my mouth still feels dry. Incredibly dry. The area around my lips and front teeth are dry. I know that means my mouth is really dry then. No, there's no denying it now. Something strange may be going on. I don't know for sure. But what else could it be? And if anything like that is going on If. We all know who would be responsible. That court and my legal guardian. Obviously.

And I talked to my family doctor's office yesterday. And they said that EEG's in 1986 were not sensitive enough to detect Cerebral Palsy. All right, if that's true. But now everyone knows that I have Cerebral Palsy. No one can claim they are ignorant that I have it, that I shouldn't be taking any of those psychiatric drugs, and that they are harming me. Harm that is known, and harm that is happening even as we speak. My doctors might even know more about that last one.

And I am a very good person, better than most. I will gladly defend myself against anyone who says differently. That, and I will keep repeating those three talking points for the rest of my life. And if you want to talk about crime, anyone in my life, they may be doing physical harm to me even now. And harming someone is always illegal, last time I checked. And if anyone wants to talk about who is doing something illegal, just speaking generally now, I'll gladly talk about that too. In my life, where I live, what I see just on a daily basis. I'll just leave that one at that. But:

I Do Not Consent To Any Secret Or Involuntary Treatment, Now Or Ever. And I'm Not Saying That Is What Is Happening Now. But It Just Seems Something Weird Is Happening Now. My Mouth Is Clearly Unusally Dry, Even After Three Glasses Of Water. That Much I Know For Sure. But, Everyone Knows Now I have Cerebra Palsy. And Everyone Knows That People With Cerebral Palsy Should Never Take Those Neuroleptic Medicines. It's Common Medical Knowledge. And Everyone Knows The Harm That Was Already Done.

And, I Do Not Consent To Any Of This Harm And Secrecy, And I Demand It End Immediately. I Will Gladly Work With Anyone In My Life Always. I Always Have. But I Want The Secret And Forced Treatment Of Me To End. Immediately, Before Anymore Harm Is Done. And I Want To Be Given Full Medical Consent Immediately Too.

I'm going to make a careful note of today's date, and all I just said, then I will put it on my two calendars and make note of the day too in other ways. And those three things: my mouth was very dry this morning. (And my lips and front teeth are dry. So I'm not just imagining that. Plus I have been sleeping a lot more too. Like in the past couple of weeks.) Three 8 oz. glasses of water made no difference. In fact my lips and teeth are dry even as I type this. And this has been going on for a couple of weeks now. And for some reason it's much worse, or I just noticed that his morning.

Maybe it's nothing, I don't know. But something seems wrong about all of that, whatever is causing it.

 

Well, I guess I might have just been overreacting to those symptoms. But those were my symptoms. So I will still record it, and hold onto that information forever. Because you know, doctors and others have told me in the past that it was nothing to worry about. Or even better yet, they didn't know what I was talking about. Even though they were medical doctors. And I had this wild idea when I was younger. That I could always trust certain people and that they'd never to deceive or harm me in any way. Not anymore. I will still record the date all those symptoms happened.

Another thing. I hold onto dates, and calendars. People probably thought it was silly, my holding onto calendars. Not at all. That's how I know when all of this happened. I'll always know now. And sometimes the numbers of the date, or something else about it, are ironic, and help me to remember that way. Because it's not like I can trust the people in my life or that they are working in my best interests.

 

So I guess I made several mistakes in my life that I have to make sure I never make again. Like with my driving. People like that doctor thought I'd be too embarrassed to talk about that subject, because I might think that people thought I was intellectually handicapped. But what people like him really were hoping was that I'd be afraid to bring that subject up. Because people didn't even know what was going on with all of that. I am good driver with an excellent record. I always had a license and good insurance, and it anything it was many of my neighbors who had no business driving. With many of their tail lights missing, and a lot of the other stuff I see going on in my neighborhood sometimes too. And all this while, since 2004 or 5 and even now, they were trying to take my license and car away. I'll never let that happen again. And I am not suicidal. People drove me to suicide. Since age 11 at least, with their extreme psychological abuse. And then they threatened me with terrible things, like unbearable pain that never ended. All the while, saying that they had no choice but to take away my freedom, information and consent. Because I was suicidal, while they were making me suicidal. I thought maybe I shouldn't bring up that fact. But people were using that against me. Saying those things about me, while I never brought up those facts. And I am going to get the status of Cerebral Palsy. If it's the last thing I do before I die. I won't rest until I do. But that was the significance of those three things. I see that now. And they did all really happen. I'll have to remember to bring them up from now on, like I said.

And now I am being denied access to the legal system. In 1992, my court-appointed attorney joked around and acted silly on the witness stand while he was under oath. When is that ever all right to do? And why would it ever be legal? Maybe in an emergency, like in my example of a man walking into a courtroom with a gun telling the judge he wanted custody of his child. But not for over 30 years. And no one should lie under oath. Or have people sign fake legal documents, that are also considered under oath. That last one should never be allowed ever, even if it is legal. And I need to have my legal status changed. And nothing is being done at all now. But I would rest until it is. I'll spend the rest of my life fighting it if I have to. Long after someone has "proven" to me that it's been resolved. And no one has even tried to do that yet.

And I am a very good person. I will gladly debate anyone and prove anyone wrong who tries to say otherwise. I have never even spent the night in jail. And yet someone has told my neighbors something terrible and untrue about me that has made them all very angry. And you should never tell someone's neighbors something like that even if it were true. Especially in places like where I live, that are statistically so violent.

 

I was talking with a doctor's office recently about the problem I have with incomplete emptying of my bowel. I was talking about that with another doctor about 20 years ago. He said that it is usually found with frequent urination. I known I've had frequent urination since at least age 9, and the other problem since 20 years ago. And double vision since before age 18. I am not a doctor, but these things would have all mean something to a medical doctor. I think I will start making a list and sharing with as many people as possible. Because that court should have received my petition by now, and probably will just ignore it again. I won't let them do that. I'll get more people involved until someone listens and something happens.

And I contacted another organization online for free legal help recently They would have contacted me back by now too, so they are obviously ignoring me too. I'll give them another week, and then they will be part of legal claim. In fact, I submit now that they are. Because I don't think that's right. I have right to legal counsel, I have a right to equal access to the legal system and I have the right to full medical knowledge and consent. And under no circumstances should the legal documents you sign be fake. So everyone then is just committing perjury at that point. That would only be justified in the most extreme situations. And it should never be legal.

Those are all my claims now too, as I have already said.

 

I have all kinds of things hardwired into my brain too. I don't know what that means, but that's the best way to describe it. Like I was telling my therapist, "Mercury, Venus, earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto" recently popped into my head. A couple a years ago. I don't remember even memorizing that. I vaguely recall something about that from the 9th grade though. And I have habits that have lasted my life too. Sometimes I don't even know that I am doing them. For example, when I was a boy my mother told me to always turn away from people and food when you cough. Sometimes I do that and I don't know why I turned away, if none of those things are there. Then I look over and see a tree or something. I didn't even see it. But I think to myself, I must have unconsciously saw a tree and interpreted "plant, food" or maybe even "apple tree, cherry" tree. Even I didn't see it and it was an Oak or Elm.

 

Rest and leisure is an important consideration in my case. I never worked. I'm not lazy. Actually many of my problems with that were probably due to my Cerebral Palsy, Schizotypal Personality Disorder and probably a couple of other things. But I always knew all my life that I was not lazy. And now I am much older. The effects of aging for me, and aging with Cerebral Palsy, have already begun. I thought in the Summer of 1991 I might get a part-time job. I never did. But when I was a child, a part-time job was four hours a day. And eight hour work day was still standard when I was entering high school. Like in the movie "9 To 5". Now they say in the US working 14 hours a day is not unusual. I could never do that. I don't even know if I could work part-time. I've never tried it. And if I ever worked an 8 hour day, I wouldn't have time for anything else. There's just enough time in the day for me to do what I have to get done. And I am arriving later and later for my doctors' appointments it seems. And they don't seem to want to help me. And as I've said, as far as I know they are still trying to take away my car. My neighbors are still thinking about it a lot. And I can't let anyone put me in a group home. Ever. I'd lose all medical consent there. They'd control what I read and know too. Especially where I live, where from what I understand the rules tend to me more strict in places like that. And they'd probably start slipping stuff into my food there too. Just like we heard about my grandfather in his old age home. And that was 1989.

I know rest and leisure are a fundamental right. International law recognizes it. It even goes back to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights in 1948. Everyone has a right to reasonable, reasonable, rest and leisure. Usually a specific amount of time even. Since the 1800s in the UK and the US, an 8-hour workday was standard. And I think about a month paid vacation per year is standard most places in the world. People say in the US two weeks paid vacation is considered standard. I don't know much time a person with a physical, psychological and possibly mental handicap like me is entitled to. But I know they are entitled to some at least.

I will have to copy this and make it part of my legal arguments. I need the full disability status that I am entitled to, I have a right to some help. But only as much as I need and request. And I have the right not be abused or neglected. That last one seems obvious. But not for me. And it is still going on now. But when I ask for help or question it, people just tease or ignore me. And if I reached out to a lawyer, even if I could hire him, he'd do the same. So, so far this is all going nowhere for me and nothing is being done and no one cares. They all tell me they think it's funny actually, for some reason. I will have to keep pursuing the matter. But I won't even know when it's ever been resolved. And no one is even doing anything now as far as I know.

 

Also you know, I might have a lot of clutter around the house. I don't think it's too bad. Like I've told people before, clutter in my car would only be a problem, I think, if it blocked my windows. And having things within reach in my car is important for my safety. For example, in the winter I don't have to park somewhere and get out my car to get something in the trunk. (Even though like I've told my therapist, I am still under official orders to keep my passenger side always ready for a rider for some reason, or I will lose my car. I'm serious.) But, there is another reason for clutter. To be blunt, it might be evidence some day. For the rest of my life I will be collecting evidence, and dates like I already do. So that all of this never happens to me again. And if I end up in the emergency room, if I am in a legal setting like a commitment procedure, if I am in any new situation. I will start sharing all of this with them. How people, like that place more recenlty, were threatening me with terrible things. How else they did that, even if they did it a way that was meant to seem harmless to onlookers. And my car. If anyone ever brings that subject again, in even the slightest way, I will take action immediately. And demand that whatever legal action that is appropriate is taken. And then I will point out that that nonsense has been going on for over 20 years now. At least 2004 or 5. Or 2001, depending on how you look at it. Or like I was telling my therapist recently, there was a bizarre incident that happened in 1995 like that, I think.

Because clutter is a problem I agree, and I will try my best always to deal with it. But if anyone ever tries to do what they did to me, drive me to thoughts of suicide since at least age 11, subject me to extreme psychological abuse (even if it seems harmless to onlookers) or horrible threats. Like the car one. Which as I've pointed out to people seems harmless to onlookers too, but definitely isn't. And is totally stupid and unnecessary, even though as far as I know it's still going on. I will take action immediately. I won't wait this time and I won't let anyone get away with that or ever do things like that to me ever again.

I am handling clutter better now though. I think having some simple rules or simple plans in advance is the best way. Also, I've noticed it is better to not let something go too long. Like dishes, for example. If you clean dishes and silverware as soon as you're done using them, it's not that big of a task. In fact at that point you probably don't even think about it anymore.

 

As I've said before, I did have extreme hand dryness starting February 8, 1992. And I was being treated for my hand dryness by a dermatologist in that city. And he agreed that it wasn't my fault. He said it had something to do with my dermatitis. And he was treating it with an anti-inflammatory ointment. Then when I went to that hospital in August of 1992, all treatment for my hands stopped. And I was never treated for it again. Fortunately the problem seemed to go away November 3, 1992. But I don't know. My hands were always at least a little uncomfortably dry for a couple of years after that. I had to keep wetting them, like with water in restaurants.

Anyways, I was denied any medical there for my hands. I don't know if they were talking to the dermatologist orif they knew about him and his treatment. But they didn't give me any ointment or medicine for my hands ever again. And I was never treated for them ever again. In fact, for years after that it was just a running joke. That I was endangering my own life with deadly, loose-fitting gloves. And people didn't stop joking, even when I explained how I was denied treatment for them in that hospital. Like I said, they were frozen shut at that point. Fortunately the staff there gave me some hand lotion which helped. But only after I begged them.

I was denied treatment for my hands after August of 1992. And I think I will make that part of my claim from now on.

 

So to repeat, this is how I think the law should be changed (if the law doesn't already say this). And these are the rights I think were violated in my life:

• Medical workers should always be there to help, they should never be there to harm in any way. Sometimes they allow, or even cause some form of harm, because it is unavoidable. But they should never do it deliberately. And they should always be neutral in every political, moral and legal dispute. True for that last one, they should still do things like report suspected abuse. But that's different.

• Harm is never necessary and never justified. Sometimes it is unavoidable. And due to political differences, some countries and places tend to be more guilty of human rights abuses than others. But it still should never be allowed. And under no circumstances should people ever be allowed to give an excuse. For example under President George W. Bush's administration, he said that waterboarding was justified because he was more effective and it saved lives. But that is no excuse. Waterboarding is a form of torture. And torture is never justified and can never be allowed under any circumstances.

• The handicapped, and other vulnerable groups, deserve special protection in our society. They should always be protected from harm, and their abuse and the violation of their rights should always be treated as much more serious.

• Lying and deceiving is always wrong. Sometimes it may be justified as the lesser of two evils. Sometimes it is unavoidable. And doing things like withholding information and lying about trivial matters are very different that other forms of lying and deceiving. But lying about very serious and important matters is always very wrong. And certain forms of lying and deceiving, like having someone sign fake official legal forms, that are signed "under penalty of perjury", having someone attend fake trials and commitment proceedures, where again people lie under oath, and even giving someone a fake legal status, like that competent adult, when they are really under guardianship, are never justified and should never be legal, for any reason. Not even for very good reasons or with the best intentions. Because we should always be able to trust the integrity of our legal institutions. And things like lying under oath are always wrong, never justified and should always be illegal.

• And the physically and mentally handicapped should have the right to drive. Driving is a right, not a privilege. And just like with any right, they should have this right and should be assumed able to drive, until the opposite is proven.

I think there might be more to my legal argument, and I might remember more later. But I will make a copy of this and continue sharing it from now on. And it will be the legal argument now. My legal argument for how the law should be changed, and my legal argument for myself and how I think my rights were violated.

 

Like I said, I am going to try to keep a list now of things I want added to my case. But I wanted to add to that, here too. There was something odd about that trust of mine right from the start. Now, I knew always that I needed a little help. So I always tried to work with people on this. But, when my legal guardian first met me at our first meeting with our probate lawyer, he hadn't seem me in a long time. And, according to my aunt, when he first saw me he gave me a long, lingering, dirty stare or look. My aunt was telling me to warn me that she didn't think he had my best interests at heat right from the start. And my aunt, along with my parents, was always one of my best advocates. And my father was telling me once that he called my legal guardian's house. And his wife answered the phone. And she was very rude and angry with him, my father said. My father was trying to tell me or foreshadow the fact that legal guardian and his wife didn't like me, and had ulterior motives too. But like I said, I always tried to work with people with the trust, and everything else in my life. I knew I had no choice. I needed the trust to live on. And I knew I'd always need a little help. I don't even know exactly what my problems are. My therapist in 1986 told me he thought I had borderline Schizophrenia. Which is not true Schizophrenia, and an old and outdated term, he told me. He also told me he put something else on my insurance form. But he would never tell me what. My doctor after that one I just mentioned told me in 1986 or 7 that he thought I had a form of Schizophrenia. Probably disorganized Schizophrenia, he said. Then mental health workers started acting really silly, and psychologically abusing me and telling me horrible threats, in 1988 and 9. But I guess I still thought I had disorganized Schizophrenia. Then around 1991, I thought I might have Schizotypal Personality Disorder, and maybe I was borderline intellectually handicapped too. And my last psychiatrist, did finally tell me that he thought I had Schizotypal Personality Disorder. I guess up till then his official position was that I was a paranoid Schizophrenic who wore plastic gloves. Or at least that's all he'd tell me. And I didn't even know until 2011 that I had Cerebral Palsy. But I noticed something was wrong, or odd, about my symptoms. All my life really, and especially around 1991 when I started rethinking my diagnosis. I had extreme weakness in my limbs all my life, and double vision since at least age 18. Anyways, I always knew and I always agreed, that I needed help. And I always tried to work with people. I tried to work with people sometimes even long after most people would have stopped by that point.

Anyways, I am an old man with Schizotypal Personality Disorder and Cerebral Palsy. I am permanently damaged with Type II Diabetes and nerve damage in my feet. And I guess I may have to just keep that man as my guardian now. I will need special care all my life, because of what I just said. And I am much older now. I may have to just accept the fact he is my guardian. But I want to be made a full participant, fully aware of all that is going on. I want full medical consent, and also no secret or forced therapy. Especially with those neuroleptic drugs, that I never should have taken to begin with, that someone with Cerebral Palsy should never take to begin with, that were never necessary with me (except to deal with that long list of people who psychologically abused me and told me those horrible things and threats), and now I am permanently damaged by them too. And I will need special care now because of that, with my Cerebral Palsy and old age. But, and I have to be blunt about this, if he is my legal guardian, I want him always monitored, and I want people to make sure he never neglects me, or tries to get rid of me, again. Sorry, but it's true.

And like I said, I am signing fake forms and going to fake legal proceedings, where even my own attorney acts silly and lies under oath. And I am being denied access to the legal system, because even if I reach out and beg people to help me, they have to play along, because my name has been flagged. And reckless and dangerous decisions, like forcibly medicating me and trying to take away my car, are being made behind my back. Things that were never necessary, and things that have endangered my life and safety and permanently damaged me for life. And when should anyone ever sign fake forms or go to fake legal proceedings, where everyone lies under oath? When should should the medical community ever deliberately harm someone? When should anyone ever be denied access to legal counsel and medical consent, when they are not a danger to themselves or others? Or when others clearly drove them to suicide, often while blaming them, and they never even spent the night in jail? If this can be done to me, this can be done to anyone. Your grandparent, for example. Or you, some day. How would you even know? Weird things would just start happening. Your house would be mysteriously sold under you, you'd lose you driver's license even though you are an excellent driver, your doctors would start doing weird things without your knowledge or permission. And till your dying day, you would have never known why that all happened.

Anyways, I don't think it's right for people to deny me legal help either. So I think I will make them all part of my legal claim now. And make sure they at least face some ethical sanctions for what they did to me. Like I said, this is still happening now. But from now on I plan on making those people who continue to deny me legal aid part of my claim. And like I said, I will continue making hard copies of all of this now, and start submitting it with my other claims.

 

Like I've said before, I'm sorry it has all come to this, and my legal guardian is the only family I have left after my parents died in 1996 and 2011. But he left me with no choice but to say and do all I am saying now. And he had more than enough time to work with me and others. But like I said it's nothing personal I have against him, or anyone else. They just left me with no choice. My health, my safety and my life are in danger. And now I am permanently damaged and turning into an old man.

But, I actually thought of another solution. This in the past about 10 years ago, again before I even knew I had a legal guardian and that he was my legal guardian. I thought maybe someone else could be my legal guardian. I really don't think I need a legal guardian at all, just a little help. But it is getting late in the process of all of this now. And I am becoming older and have to focus on my long term care in my old age now. I was thinking, again about 10 years ago, about my uncle's legal guardian in 2006, before he died. I even still have her name and number. I was always impressed how she fought for my uncle, even though she was a court-appointed legal guardian, and people like our probate lawyer told me that back then court-appointed legal guardians usually weren't very good, or didn't work in your best interests. I even called her about ten years ago, when I wanted to find out whatever happened to my aunt, my uncle's wife. And I told her that I wouldn't mind having her as my legal guardian, if I ever needed one. Now, last I heard she was in some kind of legal or ethical trouble, as an attorney. She might have even been disbarred. I don't know. But she always seemed like a good choice to have as my legal guardian, if I ever needed one.

This would lead to a lot of change in my life, not all of it good. But it's one possible way of resolving this issue.

 

Anyways, I talked to my therapist about the following yesterday, and before. Starting around 1989-1991, I was just confused about my intellectual status. People all my life have been telling me I was genius. But then people started telling me at that hospital, I was or looked intellectually handicapped to others. So if I was living and sham and lie, I wasn't sure if people knew, or if I would be allowed to drive if they did. But everyone knew, including the Michigan Secretary or State (who issues driver's licenses in Michigan). They knew my intellectual status, and everything else. And they judged me fit to drive in 1989. And I am a very good driver, with an excellent record. And I'm careful, because I always knew the importance of driving. And that makes all the difference. And if I didn't have a car, I'd lose everything. All my independence, all my quality of life and all of my medical consent. And I live in Detroit. I really would have no way of getting around. Especially to all my doctors. Especially now that I am permanently damaged with nerve damage in my feet and Type II Diabetes. And now I might be getting even later still to my doctors' appointments. I don't even know why. And like I said last I heard, my neighbors are still trying to take away my car. Even though I see many of them driving around without tail lights. And the lady next door (now deceased) told my father and I, she didn't even bother to renew her driver's license anymore.

Anyways, this is an outrage. And I am not going stand for it, and make sure people never forget what was done to me. And like I was telling my therapist yesterday, I think the people who were trying to take away my car since the early 2000s should make reparations by making sure I always have one. My neighbors, the police, the first responders, that one doctor. Many people. And I am going to make an issue of it. Because I need to have a car as long as possible now. And I am not going to let someone put me in a group home ever. I'd lose all medical consent there. And they'd control the information I get and probably start slipping medications in my food. Like they did at my grandfather's retirement home in 1989.