My partner wants us to have children

well, at 18 you're still not mature enough. the fact that it's upsetting to even ponder that a 50 year old may be wiser (through experience) says it all. wait until you think to yourself "i'm a fucking moron, i don't think i'm smart enough to be a good parent." that's a great start.

 

Its not upsetting, and i never did say that it is not possible for a 50 year old to be wiser through experience. What i DID say was that it was completely unfair and illogical to claim that ALL 50 year olds must be wiser, simply because they are older. And this statement i will not withdraw, as its true.

As for being "smart" enough, as you put it, I will use the same argument for this. Some 18 year olds genuinely ARE "smarter" (or cleverer, or more intelligent...if thats what you were trying to say) than some 50 year olds. Some reach 50 and remain ignorant and slow. There are also some 50 year olds who are, likewise "smarter" than the 18 year olds. Age has nothing to do with it.

"At 18, youre not mature enough"...Mature enough for what? Having children? How do you know how "mature" i am? Well, my partner was actually talking about a few years into the future, but as i like to think ahead i thought the issue was best discussed now, especially as he is older(and for all the reasons i have already mentioned.) It also got me wondering whether or not i will ever have children.

As for waiting until i think i am a "moron" until having children...oh, great message to the kiddies. You seem to believe i never question myself, i believe i am always right, i never hesitate, im impulsive, im blind...I wonder what gave you this idea. Couldnt be the age stereotype, could it? I happen to be an extremely methodical and cautious person, which is why i am giving this subject so much thought. I often question myself, whether im right, whether my opinions are right or wrong...And once again, i know many older people who do not do this, just as i know younger people who dont.

 

P.s-Also, this is argument has NOT only been used by younger people. My mother is reaching 60, and knows that she can still learn from the young. She realises that the whole "We deserve more respect and we are wiser because we have lived on this planet longer than you" stuff is over-rated, and often tells me i should remember this.

True wisdom, "smartness", "maturity"...whatever you want to call it. That depends on what is deep inside yourSELF, not what it says on your birth certificate.

 

If you don't want children and he does, that makes for a strained and unfair relationship. Someone is forced to compromise.

You run the risk of him running off with someone who wants the same things in life that he does. And he deserves that. And you would be happier with someone who wants the same as you......

Do you think you will be happy always worrying that "that subject" will be brought up again and again?

 

My fears exactly. And like i said before, if i knew he really desperately wanted or felt he needed children, of course id let him go. If i still didnt want to have them myself, i wouldnt.

Weve agreed to discuss this again when ive completed my studies, which i think will be best. Theres always the possibility of adopting children when we are a lot older, which id feel more comfortable with. But anyway, well have to see. It just shocked me and made me wonder, thats all.

Xx

 

i can't wait to raise my own little army
muahahahahah
:H

 

you shouldn't take your age so personally, i made all the exact same overly emotional arguments at your age that you do. *sigh* you will get over it.

 

i SHOULD stop picking on you for your age, but you rise to it better than any other teenager here. it amuses me in some sick sorta way. it's like picking on myself as a teenager.

 

This is far from being personal. Very few of my arguments are personal. I wish to share my views on life with everyone on this planet who's willing to listen, simply because by doing that there is a chance we'll all learn something. The same works for any person, not just me.

As for my views being "overly emotional", i believe emotion has to be considered in any human issue. I put feeling into my arguments because i intensely believe them. I have strong views, but that doesnt mean they are fixed. I share them in the hope that the sharing will be a success. That ill have given and gained something back...

I am not going to give up this experience or silence myself just because you find it amusing, and believe ill grow out of it. So what if i do? You could just as easily "grow out of" what you now believe. Your views could change. Does that make them somehow invalid? Of course not.

You find my arguments, my wish to share ideas with people, amusing... believing you have somehow risen above all that. I find this fact "amusing" in itself.

Xx

 

P.s-You dont seem to realise that by defending the young, i am not defending myself. I am defending all people of that age, and indeed the whole of humanity. I dont really care what you think of me. Thats a tiny, insignificant issue...what i do care about is the message being put out to and accepted by thousands of readers of these forums, and anyone i ever happen to meet. I, like anyone else with ideas, want my voice to be heard, as i believe it is a valid voice. My passion exists for reasons far more important than the defense of my own teenage ego.

 

i just get a bug up my butt and think to myself "i'm gonna go poke a teenager with a stick." y'all argue more predictably than anyone else. i'm an asshole, i know.

 

my view is that you shouldnt plan on having kids, or try to have kids. yall should just live your life, and when the babys come, be happy about it. there no perfect time or perfect number, theres no wrong time or wrong number. just dont force the issue and youll be fine. if you try to force it, youre setting yourself up for dissapointments.

 

Well im always a willing participant in your little game i find it funny, and it gives me a chance to practise expressing things

 

right on. i read how i wrote that and decided that it's best not to post while pms-ing and drinking beer. i really need to learn. you're a good sport. i really like you.

 

P.s-No, i do not think a 40 year old man is too old to reproduce (As you can see, im not big on age and "getting too old") My point with that comment was, he HAS got less time than me, taking the scientific probability. And i want every single second of that time to be used in the best way possible for him.[/QUOTE]

I missed the part where you weren't big on age lol. Anyway I won't get into the fact that you aren't even of legal age or the fact that he should have waited until he could marry you. I know people don't believe this but living together is important and that's why people marry so they can handle responsibility. People that think that living together takes the pressure off the relationship are missing the boat.

 

you forgot to mention the white pickett fence and the astro van parked in the driveway.

 

The "legal age" is 16 here...if youre going to spout this stuff please consider the differences between countries and do some research. Its been "legal" for me to have sex for almost two years now, as my 18th birthday is in 18 days time.

As for "the fact that he should have waited to marry you." Do me a favour. Im an English language student. I learnt the difference between fact and opinion when i was about 6 years old, as im sure most people did.

 

Oh God yeah and my assumed obsession with new sofas and his assumed pride of his wonderful little family. I feel queazy.

Xx

 

Cheers Youre not so bad yourself